Posts tagged would you rock it

Bart Simpson Sweater, Barbie-Leg Pumps and a big Humpday Linksplosion

If I wanted to make this a two-word-long blog post, I could probably do that.

Here’s how it would read:

THIS SWEATER.

-Lauren”

So, three words, I guess, including my name… plus a qualifier to tell you all that I was making a three-word-long  post just to make a three-word-long blog post, bringing the entire thing to maybe 18 words.

Plus a photo caption.

So, I guess I could make this a two-world-long blog post, then I’d have to go up and delete everything except for “THIS SWEATER” and who the heck am I,  Concision McGee? Quite the contrary, quite the contrary indeed.

Plus, I’ve got more to talk about right now than my sweet new sweater. It’s pretty sweet though, eh?

I picked this gem up just West of the Annex last week for about 1/5th of how much the one it’s a knock-off of  would cost (Jeremy Scott F/W 2012, you know the one.)

Some girl I spoke to when I was wearing that sweater Saturday night was all ”Why do you even tell people it’s fake? You should just say its real” to which I was like “Yeah, I could do that… If I were a total tool.”

A) Nobody in all of Liberty Village even knows who Jeremy Scott is because they all shop at places like  J. Crew or something and B) If anything, I’m proud of my sick thrifty finds. Anyone who would spend the cost on an iPad on ONE sweater — a printed sweater that can at best be worn thrice a year (once in photos) is way worse with money than I am.

Anyhoo, I got tons of compliments at our local watering hole, where girls seldom dress in homage to 10-year-old boys and 10-year-old boys aren’t welcome anywhere within the vicinity.
Yupster minds of Libville be BLOWN by dat ish.

My style may have been better appreciated if we had walked over to WQW and up Oz to DundasW like I had wanted to (IT WAS WARM, GUYS) but then again, I would have gotten less compliments because myaw, everyone is cool up there.

So, Bart Simpson Sweater: would you rock it?

Would that I were cool as Cara Delevigne...

How about these “Glitter Doll Heel Pumps” by Dumas then, hmmmm?

I would rock these for novelty’s sake, but only if they were free. 800$ to put butts under my heels? Cute concept, but no.

Lastly, Would you rock this lovely personal stomach pump?

Ewwwwwwwwww.

That was a total joke. I wouldn’t rock that if my life depended on it (and it would never.)

Judging by the comments on the story I just linked to and on other stories around the web, many others wouldn’t either.

It was actually pretty hard for me to write an article about AspireAssist without gagging, but I thought it was blogworthy concept. It feels so… Wall-E to me, you know? Scary almost, that these devices are being used medically in Europe right now.

Here are some other, slightly less creepy, a lot less unfunny points of interest.

LINKSPLOSION, ACTIVATE!

Man mocks his son’s selfie habit in the greatest photo I’ve seen today:

C’est tout. Bon nuit.

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Modern Seinfeld, Classic Rap Memes and The Full Body Sweater

Hey, Hi, Happy Humpday!

Would you rock a full-body cable knit sweater like this guy for reasons other than to get yourself plastered all over the geekblogs?

I would not. Even just looking at that noise makes me itch all over like there are botflies under every inch of my skin, which I’m kind convinced of anyway after I saw that thing on the Discovery Channel about botflies 5 years ago. This sweater makes me feel like my botflies have botlfies. IT’S A DOUBLE BOTFLY SWEATER.

Actual serious warning though: Don’t Google “botfly.” For real. Don’t.

You just Googled it, didn’t you?

Anyhoo, this is what I wore today:

The leggings are liquid. The shoes are wedges. The vial necklace is by Wildfox — one of my favourite (if not the most ridiculously overpriced) Australian fashion brands ever. I bought it as a birthday present to myself :)

It reminds me of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s cross in cruel intentions, minus the drugs. I think I’m going to fill mine with perfume and pretend it’s loooove potion. What’s life without whimsy, eh?

GET IT?!? The Ice Cube Ice Cube button is one of my favourite old rap memes. Microsoft WORD is another, as well as all of the Wheelchair Drake and Joseph Ducreux archaic rap macros in existence pretty much.

I’ve had both of these kicking around in my “Images I like” folder on various laptops and hard drives for years along with hundreds of other timeless viral photos that seem to keep popping up on Tumblr and the like every now and again, which is why I was stoked to find this hilarious “Rap Memes” Facebook page that I followed for about a week. It disappeared before I could blog about it. Ain’t that the way? Google “rap memes” for some free-roaming lulz and remind me not to trust Facebook anymore.

Here’s something every bit as hilarious — if not more so — and a little bit more permanent than the Rap Meme Facebook page, I hope.

Follow Wednesday Modern Seinfeld. If you’re a hardcore fan of the show, you’ll appreciate these 140 character show pitches for a contemporary audience. It’s gold, Jerry, gold!

My gosh, just read the entire feed. I could go on for minutes and minutes — it’s one of the best uses of the medium I’ve seen in months. It’s the best, readers, THE BEST!

Last but not least, here’s Die Antwoord’s video for Fatty Boom Boom. It isn’t even close to new but it’s been in my backlog of things to blog about for months and I can’t stand not to post it any longer! So many drafts back there right now… you have no idea.

I’m really starting to miss the days when I could just blog about what I wanted to blog about every day. I should just put ads up and “monetize” the easy way already, eh?

I lied though. THIS is the last thing:

Hehe. Talk to you real soon, frands!

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Toronto Fashion Week(s) S/S ’13: Dressing for teh lulz

HAY GUISE, IT R FASHUN TIIIIIME!!!

Get it? Hehe…

I love the bi-annual fashion week(s) of Toronto in the same way that I love TIFF, minus all of the tourist-hating (because there aren’t any,) plus an actual interest in the content of the shows (because clothes. DUH.)

Make of that what you will.

Ooooh alliteration!

Toronto Fashion Week (and I use this as a blanket term, encapsulating all of the fashion shows taking place in and around the official World Mastercard Fashion Week stuff at the white “tents”) is kind of late and disjointed (two separate production companies are hosting multi-day fashion show series’ outside of WMCFW this year, both packing enough talent to seriously rival the main event.)

It makes for some wonderful outfit watching and lulzy good fun though, if you can take the clipboard clutchers with a grain of salt.

I haven’t been following much of the coverage yet due to one heck of a newsy work week: McGuinty resigned, Romnobama debated, iPad Minis invites went out, Felix Baumgartner jumped from space and a bus driver uppercut some chick in Cleveland Mortal Kombat style.

Next week though, I’ll be hitting some shows. Hard. Being that DPS is a mere 20 second walk from my office, I’ll likely be skulking about before and after work almost every day, maybe even on my lunch break, because I love the clothes.

I’ve already planned out which shows I’d like to cover, but I’ve barely given a thought to what I’LL be wearing — and it’s GOT to be fly if I have any chance of getting street style snapped in head-to-toe cats at NYFW.

Here are a few options / WYRI items:

TOOTHY SHOES:

These are the “Predator shoes” by APEX, and yes, those are freaking DENTURE TEETH… 1050 teeth in total.

I’ve never been the type of girl to turn down something gold tooth related, but hot damn if those don’t look incredibly fragile. Right?

Whatever. Even if I only get to wear them once before the teeth start snapping off under me all click clack chitter chat, it’s totally worth freaking out my friends one snowy morning by walking slolwy in circles around their homes…

THE HULA HOOP BAG BY CHANEL:

I don’t have any jokes for this. I actually just kind of want it, and not even just kind of.

But while we’re on Chanel’s recent show at PFw, I might as well mention the sweet cottage cheese necklace in that collection…

Eco chic! Mmmmmm….

SWEATPANT ONESIES:

The Lazy Grow Leisure Suit: Where jogging pant meet snuggie (which, coincidentally, is story of my Sunday night when you toss in a 2 liter of diet coke and some mustard stains.)

I just ordered 12, express delivery — one for every day from now until the end of fashion week.

If for some reason nothing above pans out, I plan on draping myself in a duvet from K-Mart.

“It’s Margiela for H&M… I got it early because I’m like, actually FRIENDS with the designers… Want to see a photo of us together? SIKE! You can’t see the picture. I’m not aloud to show anybody…”

Image via Vogue UK

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