Posts tagged video
Homies, I have a confession to make: One time, when I was 18, I hit a possum with my car on a dark country road outside of my hometown and it died. On impact. Splat.
When I arrived to the party I was headed for, I tearfully announced to everyone that I was a murderer – A MURDERE-HUH-HUH-HUH-HURRRRRR *wipes eyes*, though really, it was more of a manslaughter than a murder… and more of a marsupialslaughter than a manslaughter…
To find out what that dark confesion has to do with the animated gif above, or the 375 bones I won WITH MY HUGE BRAIN from Dodge Canada in Episode one of their Road Test trivia series, please watch this video:
Wub wub wub wub wub BAM!
Cash Cab, where you at?!? I would play that game with Dodge every day if I could! Money aside, winning at trivia just feels great.
You can take the Dodge Dart trivia challenge yourself on Dodge Canada’s Facebook page for a chance to win a $50 gas card or “48 hour urban adventure for 2,” whatever that means. Flights, accommodation, helicopter tour and wine tasting included. Sounds good to me, mang.
The new 2013 Dart is pretty bomb. Dodge Canada actually let me borrow one for a few weeks after that video was filmed, and this is what I can tell you about it:
- KEYLESS ENTRY: How many times have I rooted around in my purse looking for a key in the cold? This feature is stress-busting and potentially even life saving. The car simply detects that you’re close by the fob in your bag and BAM. You’re in. I love it.
- Push button start: Just feels cool.
- The massive 8.4. inch touchscreen on the dash feels pretty next-level, like having a tablet built into your car. They said it’s the largest screen in its segment, and you don’t even need to touch it while driving thanks to the integrated natural language voice recognition technology. You can even hook it up to your iPhone and control THAT hands-free while you drive with voice commands. I was swooning.
- The model I drove had satellite radio, which is the greatest thing in the history of things. This isn’t the first car I’ve driven with SiriusXM, but I did do the long haul home with her for Thanksgiving and the drives (both there and back) simply flew by with all of the great talk radio options. The wee jaunts in between were great too. Nothing like driving to the grocery store with the likes of Dance Mix 96 blaring
- Leather interior > Whatever’s in my car right now. My word was that a comfy interior. Spacious too.
- She’s a head-turner. Blondes look great in red cars, or so I was told about 12 times (okay, 3) during my time with the Dart. My mom even went so far as to say “that car looks great on you!” as if it were a dress or something. Hey, I’ll take it.
- SUNROOF. Why would anybody ever have it covered? Even when closed, that roof window lets in so much light during the day. I dig that.
You can learn more about the car’s specs / safety features / awards on Dodge Canada’s website here. Apparently, it’s got some fun under the hood too. I didn’t poke around because I’m a gentleman.
Alas, the car is now back in its rightful media fleet but it was a blast to drive such a smart, pretty whip for a little while. Big ups to Dodge Canada for my car-cation and, of course, an outlet for the pool of useless random knowledge in my head.
Y’all should go play too.
A little bit of advice to you first though, from me, the MASTER OF ALL TRIVIA EVER IN THE WORLD: Watch Jeopardy, read compulsively, and when you’re curious about something, Google it. Also, pull over when your car thuds against something on your way to a cottage party late at night. It might come in handy to know what that creature was some day in the future (but probably not.)
This post will probably crash your browser if you’ve got a computer that is weak and puny in the heart, so upgrade your RAM and tell that browseyatch to take her GIFs like a CHAMP.
It’s time to BINGE GIF! To do a GIF-STAND! To say “Blogtender, Line me up a row of GIFS!” and then look at them all until you PUKE!!!
Don’t look at animated gifs and drive.
So, this was me last night after writing fervently for… more hours than I care to tabulate:
Brain: Dude, you voluntarily stayed late at work to finish a post about how animated gifs are impacting the U.S. election coverage and then skipped dance, an H&M x Anna Dello Russo pre-shop, and two open-bar parties to go home and WATCH THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES?
Me: Yeah, but it’s not like I just watched it or something. I made fun of on the internet too.
— Lauren O’Nizzle (@laurenonizzle) October 4, 2012
Me: FOR THE LULZ, OKAY? Gahd.
Brain: Who are you?
Me: I dunno, Who are YOU?
Brain: I’m you.
Me: No, I’m me. I’m so much more me than you are.
Thanks, internet, for all of the hyper-engaging and irrevent real-time humour that accidentally turned me into someone who kind of knows what’s going on in American politics right now… ish.
Last weekend, I told a group of aspiring bloggers how important it is to be innovative and entertaining but still consistent with your tone and theme — To give readers something they can expect and that they’ll want to come back for.
It’s hard to do that when you write a blog about your life though, because people are constantly evolving. Especially in their 20s, jeesh.
I don’t know if I’ll ever find a focus for this blog. Hey, I’m not very focused. I do promise you this though, dear readers;
1. I won’t ever stop posting pictures of my own face on my blog because, like many women my age, my self worth is based upon my appearance and I really like attention (here’s a picture of Brock and I taken by Becca at Dudebox‘s party on Friday.)
2. I will never, ever stop loving things that are hilarious.
Jeff Wysaski’s “every infomercial ever” video hit the web last week inaboutsandaround the same time that this wicked stream of awkward infomercial GIFs on imgur got picked up by the blogs.
I don’t know if the video spawned the gifs, if the gifs spawned the video, or if one just brought searches for the other to light.
It’s like the age-old quandry “which came first; the chicken or the egg?” It’s a problem that I don’t really give a frick about solving because there’s no way of knowing, chickens are cute, eggs are delicious and that’s all that really matters.
Here are some of my favourite infomercial gifs of life. I hope you enjoy my narrative:
Good night, moons of my life, suns in my sky, Tom Hardy pictures of my desktop background…
Brace yourselves, 80′s babies — here comes another stake into the heart of your childhood… Don’t shoot the messenger (with your duck hunt gun, pyaw!)
Blowing into Nintendo cartridges “to get the dust out” may not actually have made them work better.
I know, right? It always (okay, sometimes) worked for me too.
Take that for what it is while I stare blankly at my laptop screen for a while…
Alright, I’m back. Now let us movie on… to Henri!
We’re like Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir, him and I… minus all of the weird sex stuff. Minus any of the sex stuff. I love kitty cats, but not like that. Why would you even suggest that, you sickos?
He dropped a new YouTube video today after a newspaper in Seattle asked for his views on politics:
Vote Tuxedo Stan for mayor of Halifax!
I know that this was supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek piece, but hot dang if Edward Keenan didn’t go all Edward Keenan on us with his magical words and powerful facts, legitimately convincing me that Toronto should probably separate from the rest of Canada.
Think about it. We’re bigger than Nicaragua.
Better yet, listen to new Toronto’s national anthem (by Donovan Woods):
Oh, Toronto, I’m pretty sure I feel at home.
Well done, Mr. Woods!
It’s been two years, last month, for me as a Torontonian. It feels like I’ve been here so much longer. It’s safe to say I’ve never fit in better anywhere, in any city before. I wonder if that has more to do with who I am now than where I am now… but sheet, you don’t care. I don’t even care. Let’s get back to the important things:
Saline forehead injections are a thing now, sort of. Read all about that here… I already wrote about it once today and I really don’t think I can spend 5 more seconds looking at body modification trends today.
Saved by the Bell is on. A really old one, where the gang struggles to study for Testaverde‘s midterm. I’m going to go do some homework meself! Prepping for a talk on Saturday. Check it oot if you’re in NEPA!
“In October 2011 I started documenting people in the city of Amsterdam, approaching them in the street and asking them to say their age in front of the camera. My aim was to ‘collect’ a group of 100 people, from age 0 to 100. At first my collection grew fast but slowed down when it got down to the very young and very old. The young because of sensivity around filming or photographing children and the very old because they don’t get out of the house much. I found my very old ‘models’ in care homes and it was a privilege to document these -often vulnerable- people for this project. I had particular problems finding a 99 year-old. (Apparently 100 year-olds enjoy notoriety, but a 99 year-old is a rare species…) And when I finally did find one, she refused to state her age. She simply denied being 99 years old! But finally, some 4 months after I recorded my first ‘age’, I was able to capture the ‘missing link’ and conclude this project. Enjoy.”
- Jeroen Wolf, filmmaker, Amsterdam.
This video was way too blogworthy for a simple Tweet. It had me grinning from ear-to-ear by the end of it. What can I say? Mortality is effective shiss.
It’s unlikely that anyone will believe me (aside from the couple of tight friends I told), but I had this VERY IDEA two years ago. I was even going to apply for a filmmaking grant!
My project fell by the wayside, but I’m so very glad that Jeroen Wolf’s didn’t.
Kudos on a job well done. I’m feeling more inspired to get back to my art right now than I have in weeks. It’s been a while. Maybe I’ll start restoring some frescos…
Laurenoutloud.com does not condone the kicking, punching, or otherwise physical harming of animals (shaming, on the other hand, is all good.)
That said, this video might be the coolest effing thing I’ve seen all week:
Moral of the story: fashion, I think.
I wrote about viral videos more than usual at work this week. It was a good week for the YouTubes, ya know?
A few of my favourites:
- Gangnam Style
- Invisible bike helmet
- The beat-boxing beauty queen
- HOT CHEETOS & TAKIS (warning: total earworm.)
That little girl rapper totally jacked those moves from me. I swear to Hov, that’s EXACTLY the way I dance when I’m out with my friends on the town — which is exactly what I did last night. And the night before that, too.
So sleepy… fading fast… but first — WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?
No, no worries Amurrica. Your education system is just fine.
One more video for y’all. Well worth the wonderful, wacky watch if you like watermelons and weird guys:
Time to continue recovering now. BRING ME MY RANCH DRESSING HOSE.
P.S. – Happy Caturday
The Peterson Farm Brothers > LMFAO. Seriously, these clever and strapping young farm boys from Kansas or some place like that just put Berry Gordy’s offspring to shame.
In fact, I’m so impressed with the Peterson Farm Bros right now that I think they should be called LMFAO from now on.
The acronym can stand for something different, of course. “Livestock makes fertilizer all organic” or “Like my farming apron, Oprah?” or “Let’s Milk Foals And Oxen.”
Except maybe not that last one, because I don’t think it’s actually possible to milk a baby horse… or an ox, since they’re almost always male.
But I digress.
This videos has raked in almost 5 million views in less than two weeks on YouTube and actually prompted me to google “How to become a farmer.”
Congratulations, boys! Google has lead me to believe that I don’t have what it takes to be a farmer, but I LOVE being outside, am great with baby animals, and could probably learn how to bake a pie, so if you’re looking for a wife or a farm-crasher or something… Hollah.
I’m off to an early sleep tonight. Big morning tomorrow! But before I go, please enjoy this new and improved version of Maslow’s Heirarchy of needs:
That would be hilarious if it weren’t actually true. For the very same reason though, this picture is genuinely funny:
OH! AND HAPPY CATURDAY from laurenoutloud, Kurt Cobain, and Kurt Cobain’s kitty cat friends:
Take a few minuntes to watch this if you’re not too busy delivering babies in the back of taxi cabs or something. It’s really good. Better than creeping that chick you worked with for like, 2 months in highschool’s vacation photos on Facebook right now, I promise.
Bravo, Lorena Galliot and Julie Percha! This project is both informative and hilarious. Dope, even. I’m in love with it.
The hipster subculture fascinates me — especially from the other side of my computer screen where I can’t smell it. My hope is to one day visit the hipster homeland myself. I already have the perfect guise. I’ll blend right into the people of Williamsburg!
Back to the editing suite! AKA my converted closet / micro-office…
(video via Laughing Squid)
I don’t like to do generic presents. Never have. Flowers may be pretty, but they aren’t exactly memorable — unless they come in a pot with your FACE on it.
But I didn’t get my mom a face-pot for mother’s day this year. Nope. I didn’t have the time to make one, and even if I did I wouldn’t have been able to give it to her on time because I wasn’t able to make it home for mother’s day this year
So, instead of shelling out for FedEx to speed-deliver some quirky slapped-together scrapbook thing, I did what any busy young urbante who grew up in a capitalist system would: I outsourced my mother’s day present (SEE VIDEO BLOG ABOVE.)
Cue flak. *sigh*
I also posted a tribute to my mommy here, and it goes a little something like this:
My mother is a hero in every sense of the word.
As an Emergency room RN, she saves lives every day.
As a laundry wizard, she manages to make food stains that not even a dry cleaner will touch just… vanish.
As a chef, she whips together meals inspired by things she’s tasted in restaurants — SANS RECIPE — and then does it all over again vegetarian styles, for me.
As a wife, she’s been able to keep my dad from eating hot dogs for breakfast (most of the time) for 27 years.
As a mother, she got my brother and I through elementary school, high school, university and grad school with her unconditional support, love and care packages (I really appreciated the fabric softener and and paper towels. As much as I seemed to favour the chocolate almonds, the little things meant a lot.)
If you weren’t BRILLIANT enough to hire people half way around the world to dance for your mother thi year, and are still struggling for a gift, show her the video below and just pretend you made it or something. You’ve got 20 minutes left to pull this together, kid. GO!
Love always, the chick who just found this incredible gif on a random message board that hasn’t been active since 2004:
Hide ya kids, Hide ya wife, and hide yo husband ’cause she chatting with errybody out here.
You see, homeboy is not the bed intruder — he’s the guy from the bed intruder song. The one whose sister almost got… yeah know. Intruded.
They didn’t invite the real bed intruder to ROFLcon because a) they haven’t found him yet and b) he’s a gross attempted rapist. And who wants that shick around?
This interview was actually a dream come true, as I’ve been in love with everything Antoine since 2010. It was entirely spontaneous too! Of all the people I contacted, Antoine Dodson was one of the only ones I couldn’t get a hold of, so I prepared zilch. Nothing. Then, lo-and-behold as I walk up to a lecture hall at MIT Saturday afternoon… BAM.
I took my shot and he was sweet as a peach. Genuinely funny and so kind. I can’t say enough about how much I dig this guy — and Antoine, if you read this, know that I will take you up on that hair hookup should I ever make it down to Huntsville.
Next up on the interview list? Scumbag Steve. Lookout for it this weekend!
We now interrupt your regularly scheduled geekery with yet another post about pretty clothes because hey, if there’s anything I like as much as a dope supercut or creatively placed Periodic Table of Elements, it’s a cute outfit.
Here’s the skinny: She Does the City has teamed up with Gap to host one “serious shopping event” at the retailer’s Bloor st. location on May 15th. There will be music. There will be Coconut Water. There will be giveaways and gift bags and goooood discounts.
As a fun little pre-cursor to the event, five Toronto bloggers were asked to come up with their own looks based on on of Gap’s recently relaunched classic T.
I was given the Mercer V-neck Pocket T in neon green, which I was obviously psyched about because, well… NEON GREEN. (click image above for elaboration.)
And yes, I did turn the belt I bought into a headband. It reminded me of a braid, and braids remind me of hair, and HEY – that’s what the stuff all over my head is called so Voila:
I came up with a secondary look too, because what if one of the other girls picked out THE EXACT SAME THINGS AS ME? What if? WHAT IF?
Ooooh, broody. Sorry guys – it’s hard to look normal in these. I should start a tumblr filled with funny fashion blogger poses. Never mind. Just googled it. Someone already did.
I did actually have to pee, kind of.
I called this look “Urban Glo-worm,” which really speaks to the fact that I wrote that description very very late last night.
I’m still recovering from ROFLcon, you see, literally rushing home after working all day to do laundry and hit the gym and other lifely things before a little bit of late night laurenoutlouding.
*sigh*, if this flurry of emails doesn’t SIMMAH DOWN I’m never going to get my interview videos up. LEAVE NIZZLE ALONE. See. me. pout:
I keed, I keed. Managing one young urban life is not hardship. Setting up something like this? Now that is dang hard work:
Hey girl, I like the way you Domino and then look up the word “Domino” to determine if it can be used as a verb or not.
One more game-related video for the road, ja? This one, a music video for Get By by Delta Heavy is excellent in a different way:
Bed time. Big day tomorrow! &News&News&News&News…
Befooore I crash though, I must note for those of you who don’t already know that today is my best friend Casie‘s birthday (er, was — I guess it’s past midnight now)! We’re going to do it up crafty this weekend
The cutest, right?
Go wish her a big happy one. I already did on the phone and Twitter and Facebook but I will again here because I LOVE YOU CAS! HBD