Posts tagged valentine’s day

Valentimes Day 2012: 5 Free Presents From The Internet to YOU


IT’S FEBRUARY THE 14TH, HOMIES! And you know what that means…

I keed, I keed — it’s VALENTIMES DAY, Obviously. I’m not actually kidding about Gregory Hines’ birthday though, for the record. It’s the renowned tap dancer / actor / sesame street guest star’s birthday today (or rathe, it would be if he hadn’t died in 2003. Thanks for bursting THAT bubble Wikipedia).

Here are 5 sweet V-Day gifts from the people of the Internet to YOU, starting with a delightfully geeky surprise from Google land..

1. Twitter user @Huckberry tipped Mashable off to the fact that typing in a certain algebraic equation on Google’s search page plots several different functions on a graph, which forms the shape of a heart:

It’s not exactly an Easter egg (according to Mashable, Google didn’t write the equation) but it’s just as exciting as any amount of barrel rolling. At least for a recovering mathlete like yours truly.

Copypasta the equation to try it for yourself:

sqrt(cos(x))*cos(300x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.7)*(4-x*x)^0.01, sqrt(6-x^2), -sqrt(6-x^2) from -4.5 to 4.5


2. Got an office crush? Too shy (or afraid of getting slapped with a harassment suit) to speak up? R/GA’s #OfficeCupid will spill the beans to your dream-sweetie on your behalf. Anonymously.

3. If you’re a Torontonian like moi, plot your most meaningful smooches on the Toronto Kiss Map! Not from the GTA? Maybe your city’s got its own version. I dunno. Google it.

4. “How Hollywood Says I Love You”: Matthew Belinkie cut together this montage of mushy film moments just in time for V-day 2012.
You’ll need either a box of tissues or a vomit bag to make it through the entire thing, depending on how you feel about love today. I feel… I feel like Claire Danes and Kate Winslet need to back up off of Leo DiCaprio RIGHT NOW. #Theboyismine

Bonus video = Heartbeat / Lovemuscle by Tayisha Bussay. Cool song. I do not like that Jelly thing though. Creepy.

5. This Valentine’s day, you can arrange for that golden voiced homeless man turned Youtube star turned raging alcoholic turned Kraft Dinner Spokesman TED WILLIAMS to read your tweets on Youtube. Do I get a box of KD with that shiss?

Notable mentions go to Lovestagram, “I love you” in 100 languages, this iPhone vibrator app that I’m too polite to comment on, and Buzzfeed’s roundup of 150+ Valentines from your childhood (!!!)

If you’re looking to get your Valentine (or favourite blogger girl) something more tangible than Kraft Dinner Tweets and a someecard this year, may I recommend the Pokérose?

Whatever you get your lass or laddy, don’t wrap a Hershey’s kiss in a pipecleaner and call it a “bling ring”, okay? That’s just insulting.

Also unacceptable: a rubber ball from the dollar store, clementines or a frigging Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich.

Man, Pinteresters are ghetto.

Finally, a very happy Valentine’s Day from me to you:

We’re Valentine’s now, okay? I have 50,000 Valentines. She‘s probably got even more — and if she doesn’t, SHE SHOULD.

I think this is my new best friend. WHO ARE YOU, MYSTERY SPACE DANCER? Whooooooo?

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A Vurry Nerdy Valentine


Guess what? I got you a valentine! See?…

SIKE! Bwahaha…

Jaykay, jaykay. Below is your real valentine, courtesy of Groening and co. Print it out, take it home, post it on your fridge, put in your wallet, give it to your mom, give it to the male with the biggest thorax in your ant farm, I don’t care – just whatever you do, don’t give it to Ralph Wiggum.

Things won’t end well, I can promise you this.

Now, here is a compendium of deliciously geeky valentines to satisfy the nerd girl (or guy) in you.

Insomnia: a blessing in disguise. Lauren: a robot in disguise. Transformers: more than meets the eye. Coffee: GET IN MY BELLY.

Sheeeet, I’ve gotta jet! Dinner reservations at a rather spicy resto :) Heyyy, get your mind out of the gutter that I just tossed it into by linking to that article! I will NOT be going there. Though you can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be watching to see if any other couples leave the table in tandem.


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My Super Famous Valentines & Gifts That Do Not Suck

Happy Valentine’s eve, puppies!

Heaps of hearts on my mind right now, but I’m so sick of writing about matters relating to Cupid’s birthday. It’s 80% of what I’ve been writing on for THREE DAYS STRAIGHT – which is precisely why I’m blogging right now.

To share my work with you, dear sweet valentines…

This week’s CosmoTV Blogger girl post turned out to be way, way longer than I had initially intended (how does that always happen?).

Looking back on my life, I realized that I’ve had a lot of really hot, awesome Valentines and I couldn’t very well leave anybody out so I wrote about each and every one.

I did leave out a few boys, for space and time’s sake, but the main squeezes are covered: Uncle Jesse, Zack Morris, JTT, Leonardo DiCaprio, Chuck Bass, Marshall…. my imagination gets around.

Looking for an original Valentine’s day present that doesn’t suck? I rounded up a whack of nifty little gidgets over on vitaminwater canada’s blog for ya.

Pretty proud of my nerdy curatorial skills right now…

It may be too late for you to order any of the gifts in that article, but if you’ve got 5 minutes you can make a cute little 8-bit e-card starring you and your LOVAH like I just did!


One more last minute gem before I go to bed – The Super Mario Porn parody, “Princess Peach’s Pipe”. 100% Blogworthy.

“Did somebody order a pizza with extra mushrooms?”
“Well, I don’t have any coins, but can I pay you in another way?”

Bwahahaha. These guys are great.

Night night! :)

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