Posts tagged toronto
I’d like to start this post with a disclaimer: JK. I’m a blogger, not some fancy arthritis medication. I’m not going to disclaim anything. Who does that? Pfizer, that’s who.
Instead, I shall straight up TELL YOU that I’ve worn a lot of stupid stuff in my day. Wild things. Overpriced things. Straight up ratchet-looking things. Let’s just praise Jeebus that Instagram OOTDs weren’t a thing when I was in high school.
The hat I’m wearing in the image above? It’s not ratchet. It’s a freaking Brian Lichtenberg from Kitson, come on meow — is Cara Delevigne ratchet? Is Jourdan Dunn ratchet? Is Miley Cyrus… you know what — nevermind.
Thug lyfe, guys. Clearly I am bad news. pic.twitter.com/VGxpRH6XiA
— Lauren O'Neil (@laurenonizzle) November 7, 2013
I got kicked out of Brassaii (some douchey club on King West) for wearing that beanie on Wednesday because “NO HATS ALLOWED” and also “GIRLS WHO REFUSE TO TAKE OFF THEIR TOQUES IN DA CLUB WHEN BOUNCERS YELL AT THEM GET KICKED OUT.”
I got kicked out. To be fair, I was lippy. To also be fair, they were decccccks about it.
Whatever, Brassaii. Your grabby bouncers are gross and King West is now even lamer for me than it has been for every Torontonian with a chill bone in their body all decade. You make me vomit! You are the scummmm between my toes! Love, Alf-alfa.
And speaking of gross, behold -> Pee Pee Leggings!
These “Neon Yellow Melting Tights” from URB Clothing actually exist and you can totally buy them if you want to walk around looking like you’re cartoon urinating all day long.
Hey, to each her own — I wore this last night:
Gosh darn am I ever cool.
Shwings! If ever they start shipping to Canada, I’m going to turn some of my Chucks into fly-shoes and satisfy my Icarus fetish once and for all.
C’est tout. Now, please gaze upon the aforementioned adidas x Jeremy Scott JS Wings 2.0 “Pixels” and have sweet, sweet dreams about yourself KICKING BRASSAII IN THE FACE WITH THEM as I’m about to.
I’d totally get kicked out for that, too.
Look at me now sliiiiitch – I’m gettin’ pay-purr…
PapER, watER, whateVUR. Happy summER. That was taken last weekend in MuskoKER (a) – the first three frames of it anyway *cough* your girl’s been busy…
Pre-skoka, I hit up a party on the Thompson Hotel rooftop with Arikia, my world traveling internet girl mind-twin. She was touring the teed with her Google Glasses in tow, which are, coincidentally, the exact same glasses James Deen wore to record the first ever Google Glass porn.
Yup. The same ones on my face. HISTORY.
The night before that, I hit a media preview dinner at El Catrin in the Distillery District and hooooooly man. WOW.
I’m not normally one to rave over food, but the ceviche… guys. The Ceviche de Atun, specifically (Fresh tuna, lime juice, olive oil, watermelon, chive and habanero mignonette) kind of helped me understand why people get all jazzed on edibles.
See also: the “VUELVE A LA VIDA EL CATRIN” (Pacific oyster with a ceviche of shrimp, octopus, bay scallops, oyster, red onion, cucumber jicama, Acapulco cocktail sauce.)
DEAD. I could eat those by the bucketful.
Here are a few photos to illustrate the types of things you can expect at El Catrin if you happen to pop by the Distillery district, alongside a stellar atmosphere, beautiful decor (done by the same team behind Weslodge and La Societe,) and in my table’s case, a very handsome server.
It really is more of an “experience” than a restaurant, as proprietors Mathew Rosenblatt and John Berman put it.
The massive outdoor patio has a fire-pit in the centre for maximum warmth even when it’s freezing outside in July because let’s face it, CANADA.
This is one of Mexico City’s most acclaimed chefs, Olivier Le Calvez. He was recruited from Mexico and brought on board specifically to head up this kitchen and taught me the other night that “mole” means “sauce.” A delicious AND educational experience.
Before we even got down to the food or drinks, guests were greeted with a feast for the eyes by way of this forty-foot by twenty-two foot high mural created by Mexican street artist Oscar Flores. Dia de los muertos style!
I tried to dress for the occasion-ish.
Their cocktail menu is also insane. Huge, huge, huge with tons of interesting drinks — Different things, like the PEPINO DIABLO (Milagro Blanco / mudded cucumber + Serrano peppers / agave nectar / citrus / Tajin rim / MAGIC) — by far my favourite drink of the night.
Also good? The HIBISCO ROSA (HIBISCUS ROSE) cocktail (Milagro Blanco / Patron Citronage /hibiscus syrup / rosewater / citrus)
I liked the name of the MAYAHUEL cocktail most because it means “Goddess of alcohol” hehe (Milagro Reposado / Jagermiester / agave nectar / fresh
lemon juice/ ginger beer)
And while the best thing (aside from the ceviche) I ate at El Catrin was the tableside-prepped guacamole (so. effing. good), this cactus salad (ENSALADA DE NOPAL) made for a pretty photo:
You can check out some more photos from El Catrin and cottagey times and party times and tons of outfit selfies in my fast-expanding “Summer 2013″ Flickr album here.
And there you ‘ave it — half a week in the life of Lau. This weekend is going to be an INTENSE one… VELD, Bridle Bash, Grove Music Festival, Imperial Comedy, Rogers Cup… I can already feel my eyes twitching for sleep LATES.
This is my fourth such weekend (remember the very first? holy crow was I dorky, awwww) and wouldn’t you know it that I finally had the bright idea to take a few vacation days to enjoy it properly? Same goes for TIFF 2013. BOOYAH. I’m brilliant.
Being that I won’t be ON DUTY for the MMVA portion of the fiasco this year (ie; rolling around with a microphone or camera,) I’m able to hit the exclusive NO PICTURES / TWEETS / VINES / KEEKS / GRAMS / AUTOGRAPHS / FRIG OFF NOOBS Universal Music Canada After party with Virgin Mobile, presented by Blackberry.
This will be a sick party.
Last year, I rolled around on the top of a bus with the guys who sing the song that goes “Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard, When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard” and then when I got inside the actual venue… well, it was good A really good party.
Want to come to this year’s party?
YOUR GIRL HAS GOT THIS. (As in me. I’m your girl.)
All you need to do is Tweet both me (@laurenonizzle) and Universal Music Canada (@universalmusicC) using the hashtag #UniAfterparty.
Example: “Hey @universalmusicC and @laurenonizzle — bring me to the #UniAfterparty!”
Make sure you’re following both accounts (so that we can DM you) and that you’re able to be in Toronto Sunday evening.
Winner will be chosen at random. If you win, you will be awarded two spots on the party’s Guest List — one for you, one for a friend. Without a name on that list, you won’t be able to get in, and if you attempt to take photos of someone inside the club or act like a fankid, you’ll be tossed. Fair warning.
BE COOL and join me on the dance floor. I’ll be the girl doing this:
P.S. — This hilarious video goes out to all of my fellow millennials. Mad cute (and painfully true in some parts *cough* like the iced coffee part…)