Posts tagged stachemagic

Hi.

I’m a blogger and I’m Canadian.

I don’t blog about politics, the government, or Canadian public policy. Heck, I don’t even blog about cruel tuition hikes anymore, now that I’m finished with school.

Yet, I feel the need to blog about how you should vote today because… well, I’m a blogger and this totally gives me the authority to be preachy and moralizing, right?

Vote, Vote, RAH RAH RAH! I’m on Dewey’s side of the debate today! Participatory democracy for the win!

Why let informed intellectual elites make decisions for those of us who don’t have the time to dig through hours worth of attack ads in search of what the heck we’re voting on? (Because things like this happen. That’s why.)

I’m going to piece together what I can of the issues and submit my ticket like a good girl. Based on what I know so far, the decision on who to vote for is clear:

Lil Wayne wearing Jack Layton’s magical moustache, of course.

Jaaaaykayyyy. I can’t vote for Weezy, silly! He’s not even Canadian.

You know who is though? Sam, the night watchman from Today’s special:

He hasn’t launched any mean ads against other candidates and we already KNOW he plays a bomb game of Tic-Tac-Toe against his trusty old computidor…

I don’t care who you vote for, but if you choose to vote you can find your local “voting placermagingy” by entering your postal code here. Hipster Ariel and I wish you luck.

In other news, The Amurricans killed that Bin Ladden fella, and I’m not going to touch that story with a 40-foot-USB cord just yet. (You can look at my Tweets from last night if you’re interested in some by-the-minute reactions).

I will, however, say this to Donald Trump (Who I’m pretty certain reads this blog religiously): YOU GOT PWNED HARD, SON.

If you haven’t seen Obama’s White House Correspondent Dinner address yet, get on that. At the very least, check out the part where he roasts Douchewagon McKnobBucket:

LIKE A BOSS.