Posts tagged shoes
Bart Simpson Sweater, Barbie-Leg Pumps and a big Humpday Linksplosion
Jan 17th
If I wanted to make this a two-word-long blog post, I could probably do that.
Here’s how it would read:
“THIS SWEATER.
-Lauren”
So, three words, I guess, including my name… plus a qualifier to tell you all that I was making a three-word-long post just to make a three-word-long blog post, bringing the entire thing to maybe 18 words.
Plus a photo caption.
So, I guess I could make this a two-world-long blog post, then I’d have to go up and delete everything except for “THIS SWEATER” and who the heck am I, Concision McGee? Quite the contrary, quite the contrary indeed.
Plus, I’ve got more to talk about right now than my sweet new sweater. It’s pretty sweet though, eh?
I picked this gem up just West of the Annex last week for about 1/5th of how much the one it’s a knock-off of would cost (Jeremy Scott F/W 2012, you know the one.)
Some girl I spoke to when I was wearing that sweater Saturday night was all ”Why do you even tell people it’s fake? You should just say its real” to which I was like “Yeah, I could do that… If I were a total tool.”
A) Nobody in all of Liberty Village even knows who Jeremy Scott is because they all shop at places like J. Crew or something and B) If anything, I’m proud of my sick thrifty finds. Anyone who would spend the cost on an iPad on ONE sweater — a printed sweater that can at best be worn thrice a year (once in photos) is way worse with money than I am.
Anyhoo, I got tons of compliments at our local watering hole, where girls seldom dress in homage to 10-year-old boys and 10-year-old boys aren’t welcome anywhere within the vicinity.
Yupster minds of Libville be BLOWN by dat ish.
My style may have been better appreciated if we had walked over to WQW and up Oz to DundasW like I had wanted to (IT WAS WARM, GUYS) but then again, I would have gotten less compliments because myaw, everyone is cool up there.
So, Bart Simpson Sweater: would you rock it?
Would that I were cool as Cara Delevigne...
How about these “Glitter Doll Heel Pumps” by Dumas then, hmmmm?
I would rock these for novelty’s sake, but only if they were free. 800$ to put butts under my heels? Cute concept, but no.
Lastly, Would you rock this lovely personal stomach pump?
Ewwwwwwwwww.
That was a total joke. I wouldn’t rock that if my life depended on it (and it would never.)
Judging by the comments on the story I just linked to and on other stories around the web, many others wouldn’t either.
It was actually pretty hard for me to write an article about AspireAssist without gagging, but I thought it was blogworthy concept. It feels so… Wall-E to me, you know? Scary almost, that these devices are being used medically in Europe right now.
Here are some other, slightly less creepy, a lot less unfunny points of interest.
LINKSPLOSION, ACTIVATE!
- Developer fired for outsourcing his own job to China to watch cat videos
- Kriss Kross is Wiggity, Wiggity, Wiggity BACK
- Seinfeld Toronto, The Hashtag = The best thing to happen to Seinfeld loving Torontonians this week after this.
- How to sell your $25.00 dress for $241,909.00 on Ebay
- This article explains so much about why, after almost two booze-free years, I started drinking again. Hard.
- “Rino which eats world various dishes” is legit the best cooking show I’ve ever seen.
- Are YOU married to the Internet? (I am)
- This is what happens when you try to post spam in a Simpsons trivia Facebook group.
- I can’t get enough of Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood. That Cali sound…
- UofT Orgy Club?
- 25 People Who Call Chief Keef Stupid but Can’t Spell “Chief”
Man mocks his son’s selfie habit in the greatest photo I’ve seen today:
C’est tout. Bon nuit.
CatWang, New kicks, Star Like Me, BBD!
Jan 7th
*peers out from behind curtain of WAHHHH*
Hallo?
HALLO!
Hallo friends. I am BACKish now from my 4-day-stretch of flu-induced hibernation to BLOW YOUR MIND with the kind of wicked-ehss geekity goodness y’all know me for… or, rather, I would be if I hadn’t been laid out for 18 hours a day since this betch of a bug hit me, barely even able to Tweet – let alone eat. The upside to that: Willie helped me finish some cottage cheese the other day and it was adorrrrable.
The most I’ve actually been able to accomplish since Thursday was a trip to Sport Chek earlier this evening to buy some new running shoes and dayglo workout gear. I ain’t even mad if it was the cough medicine that influenced this particular purchase because my new kicks are chopahcalohpah:
I’m just making up words to troll you guys at this point.
I’ve actually been working pretty hard on a “Best of 2012″ post over the past couple of evenings. It’s taking a long time, but I suppose I should be thankful for that. I had one heck of a year.
Hopefully, I’ll get that one up right soon so that I can start cranking on some new blojects for 2013! I got some tings, I got some tings. But for now, please enjoy…
The fruits of my time spent playing with the CatWang iPhone app!!! It’s totally free and ridiculously fun (if you’re into putting lasers and cat heads and other cool things on your photos. Which you must be, if you’re here.)
This commercial for the HOT NEW SOCIAL NETWORK Star Like Me which was most certainly produced in a basement somewhere in the Eastern Bloc. Yeah, yeah, I know that the Eastern Bloc doesn’t exist anymore (as of 20 seconds ago — thanks Wikipedia.)
Facebook, Twitter, WATCH YO BACK(end)S — Star Like Me is taking over:
Bwahahahaha. <-- Yeah, that's the best joke I have right now, "Bwahahahaha." I'll provide the material - you provide the punchlines, guys, just for today (and maybe all of the Sunday mornings too.)
Azealia Banks dropped a new track on New Year’s Day called BBD (Bad B*tches Do it). “It’s Trap, but it’s Rave. it’s Banjee, But still a lil classy,” she said on Twitter. Love? Hate? Meh?
I was 6 and 7s about it until I listened to it for the 5th time. Now I can’t get enough of it, or the Angel Haze diss track (ooooh Diss track!) she dropped on Soundcloud yesterday, produced by MACHINEDRUM. It gets tight at 1:37: NERPRUHBLUMSNOPRUHBLERRRMS rah grumble grooo NOPRUUUHBRLEERMS.
Espice!
Hey guys… have you ever realized that THE BRAIN NAMED ITSELF?
Night night.
Coltrane Cutouts, Buffalo Bill hoodie, Kitty Cat Island and the ones that got away…
Nov 29th
Winter changes people, mangs.
They get pale. Sullen. Reclusive. COLD.
Some people gain weight in the wintertime. Me? I gain shoes. (And also soup stains on my white shirts because winter is a time of increased soup consumption and I’m really bad at eating.)
This is what happens:
Going for long walks around the West-downtown on the weekends is one of my favourite things in life to do.
I’ll go traipsing through Liberty Village and Queen West, West Queen West, Parkdale, over to Ossington, Dundas West, sometimes even Kensington Market and Little Italy. I don’t go looking for an adventure, but I often find one. At the very least, I see tons of great art and meet a few interesting people / animals.
Cold weather can’t stop my walking, but it does alter my path a little bit.
Instead of walking through alleys or parks, I walk alongside my favourite shops; the good boutiques along Queen West, from Bellwoods to Bathurst and Beyond.
I pop into one every couple of minutes to defrost and look at pretty things, but looking always leads to touching leads to holding leads to trying on and then I’m DONE. HOW ON EARTH DID I LIVE WITHOUT THIS DRESS THAT’S GOING TO SIT IN THE BACK OF MY CLOSET FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS UNTIL I WEAR IT ONE TIME AND THEN FORGET IT EXISTS?
I won’t forget that one though. You know why? Because I DIDN’T BUY IT.
It’s the ones that get away that haunt me the most. I might go back to Fitzroy on Saturday to pick it up for a holiday party if it’s still there. I tried on this dress by Bardot while I was there too, but I don’t need another LBD knowhatimsayin?
I was still thinking about how maybe I should have bought that dress when I walked into Jacflash. Perhaps that’s why I decided to buy my new Coltranes the second I set eyes on them (in the flesh.)
I’ve been seeing these sick Balenciaga knockoff cutout boots all over Tumblr and Instagram over the past year. I even looked into purchasing a pair one time, but alas, every major Jeffrey Campbell retailer online has bee sold the frick out for months.
ENTER JAC! Not only did she have a pair of metal cap-toed Litas ON SALE, but COLTRANES! In my size!
I didn’t even realize I was doing the NastyGal pose abover until just now. I spend too much time (browser) window shopping, maybe.
I was tempted to buy both of these Unif dresses too (CAUSE THEY LOOK SO FLOSSY WITH DEM COLTRANES) but I decided to hold off, as there are in fact bills to pay in life. Plus, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the top part of the first one looks like it was fashioned from something that puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Speaking of, Would you rock this hoodie that makes it look like you’re a dude without his shirt on / a head transplant recipient / Buffalo Bill?
HAHAHA, NOPE. And more importantly, No.
No more frivolous purchases for me. I’m saving up for a trip to cat island, which is a place that exist. Cat island is a place that exists. In Japan. Cat Island is a place that exists in Japan… Heaven… Japan… Cat Island…
Sweet dreams 
PS: This song.
Better than Birks: The SOREL Lake Boot
Aug 26th
My lake boots bring all the boys to yard, and they’re like “Hey, where are your arms?”
“Oh, there! Ha! There are your arms!”
I could teach you, but I’d have to charge (at least as much as I paid for that fun arm-hiding dress plus the cost of shipping.)
See those cool things on my feet? They’re called “Lake Boots” by SOREL and they’re the most comfortable sandals I’ve ever owned, legit. Even better than my Birkenstocks, thanks to a supportive rubber split sole and, you know, the cute factor.
I’ve been wearing these sandals all summer long, at least thrice a week — If I didn’t work in an icy air-conditioned building, I’d likely wear them even more — and because the ladies caynt stop aksing me where I done got these shoooes from, I figured it was high time to blog about ‘em — especially now that I’ve had time to ensure they’re great.
Also great, also by SOREL = these:
I got them at the very beginning of the summer and can’t find that model online right now, but the Picnic Plimsoles are similar.
The lightweight but super durable plimsoles are perfect for riding bikes / exploring the shoreline / having adventures in cottage country or on the island. Also, they look good with my jorts.
Props to SOREL for these summer stunners — both from the iconic boot maker’s new warm-weather footware line.
It’s nice to see a brand evolve authentically and well. It’s even nicer when that kick-a** brand happens to be Canadian
Being that summer’s almost over now, I’m thinking to buy a pair of these puppies for snowtime:
DAT NAME. Also cute:
Annnd in completely unrelated but just as interesting news, THIS CHEESE PLATE:
See also: Baby got back, as unknowingly by movie stars.
Maximum value per post, I say. NOW LAUGH SO HARD IT HURTS AND AGREE, DOLLY.
Bedtime for me. A big, nerdy day awaits. Fan Expo, ahoy!
Kimye kicks, Beyonce talons, BoyBoy Beret, GANGNAM STYLE!
Aug 15th
That’s my BEYONCE face — capslock intentional.
Casie was snapping photos while we pre-purrtied with the girls at her place Saturday night and, for some vodka reason, I kept pretending that I was Beyonce… like, if Beyonce were the type of woman who circled her head around repeated “BEE-YAWN-SAY! MmmmHmm! BEEYAWNSAY!” over and over again.
Those nails are from the Tumblog of Queen Bee herself, and while I’m not sure if they are actually hers or some fan’s (scratch that — they’re hers), it’s Wednesday which means that I must now ask you either way: WOULD YOU ROCK IT?
I’ve got a few more WYRIs for you, but first can you all please watch this weird and ridiculously catchy music video by Korean rapper / comedian PSY? I’m obsessed with it just like everybody else on the internet.
If you haven’t seen GANGNAM STYLE yet, you’re about to fall in love. Hey, 32 million views in less than a month can’t be wrong. Right?
PSY makes me want to start choreographing again. The K-Pop invasion is coming — harder and faster than it already has been, mark my words.
Speaking of SK, Would you rockkkkk this Boy!Boy! beret from COII?
I wouldn’t (outside of photos, anyway) but I think it’s hilar all the same.
Truth be told, that’s one of the only things I’ve seen come out of South Korean women’s fashion lately that I didn’t want to buy. Tip of the iceberg, I tells ya.
The land of quirkdorable.
Last but… yeah, least, check out these shoes that Kanye West designed for his girlfriend:
Do you LOVE THEM SO MUCH THAT YOU NEED A PAIR RIGHT NOW?
You have very poor taste, I’m sorry.
But alas, you can purchase a pair of these Kanye West for Guiseppe Zanotti kicks for only $6,000 ish!
You could also stick a pair of K-Mart Uggs in the blender for a few minutes to achieve the same effect.
Kim, Kim, and away!
More paper-bag shorts, anybody? This photo (and many more) just surfaced courtesy of Christina Dun from a party last week:
omgineedahaircutsobadly. ew.
Tomorrow night’s party is a celebrity Diesel fashion show in support of the ONEXONE foundation.
I have no idea what I’ll be wearing.
How long do you think it would take for a Boy!Boy! beret to get here from Seoul, hmmm?
Circuit board chic: The Christian Louboutin Lady Peep in ‘Geek’
Aug 1st
Happy humpday homies!
It’s Would You Rock It Wednesday, and would you look at these freaking COMPUTERSHOES?
They’re the “Lady Peeps 150mm in Geek Black Red Satin”, they’re made by Christian Louboutin, and they can be alll mine yours for just $1695.00, myaw.
Normally, I’d be like “pssssh” at the prospect of paying that much for a pair of designer heels (Charlotte Olympia obsession notwithstanding) but DUDE — circuit boards. My only regret is that Jeffrey Campbell didn’t think of this first.
Voila, le produit description via Louboutin’s website:
Wait, what? A computer chip has nothing to do with programming languages… I don’t even… Ugh. Fashion people. French fashion people. Whatever. I STILL WANT COMPUTER THE SHOES!
Unfortunately, I am not le rich. Perhaps I can look for something similar online or *sigh* go DIY on it.
Or maybe not.
What do you think? Would you rock the circuit board Loubs? How about a giant animal tail then?
I’d rock the Squirrel one fo sho. FOR FASHION, folks, but also function. It’s got storage pockets!
Bon nuit…
High, High, High-Waisted Pants: Would you rock ‘em?
Apr 26th
I like a nice neo-Urkel trouser just as much as the next cat who lives within walking distance of American Apparel, but these… like, are these even pants? What is this?
Ah, yes a jumpsuit. Of course. A Viktor & Rolf jumpsuit that retails for the low, low price of $1,495.00.
Pro tip: you can totally buy one on sale at ShopBop right now for merely the cost of an all inclusive 5-day vacation in Costa Rica.
She looks angry with that red face. I think she paid full price.
If you haven’t already guessed, I wouldn’t rock these puppies. Not even if I could afford them. I don’t like a pant that I can tuck my bra into.
I’d wear these “look of disapproval” glasses for sure though… For photos… If they were free.
I love them to death, but don’t think many people outside of the internet would get it, ya know?
I would DEFINITELY rock these faux pump high tops, and want to very much:
They’re by Be&D and cost approximately $128.00 — or would, if they weren’t completely sold out *Grumble Grumble*
They also come in GUN.
NIZZLE, OUT!
Stereo Sneaks, Spiney Shoes and Cat Decolettage: Would you rock it?
Apr 5th
I’M BRINGING WOULD YOU ROCK IT WEDNESDAY BACK (even though it’s technically Thursday right now. Shhhh. Pretend with me).
First up, because I simply can’t wait more than 10 seconds longer to post this one, the kitty cat v-neck tops of Montreal’s own Supayana:
Does that not just scream Etsy? When I saw that the designer is Canadian I yeeped with pride. So cute. So creative.
I’d rock one of these shirts, but only for pictures ya know? While lovely, they’re not really my steez aside from the cat part. Cats are totally my style.
WOULD rock, all day long.
Would rock if they weren't $245
Next up are the “Gangster CD Stereo Sneakers” I’ve seen circulating around the web this week.
I’m not sure if this a prototype or a product that’s already on the (Japanese) market, but I couldn’t imagine they work very well. Have you ever ridden your bike down a bumpy road with a discman in your backpack? MAD SKIPPAGE!
Functional or not, I’d rock these in a heartbeat because they’re effing badass. I could wear them at the same time as my FiHi Stereo bag and pump Tupac from one speaker, Biggie from the other. But only if the shoes function well. Otherwise, I’d look ridiculous.
Last but not least, these spine-heeled shoes by Dsquared are super old (like, 2010 or something) but I just stumbled upon them last weekend and they’re 10000% blogworthy now and always.
I’d rock them for sure if they weren’t almost 1500 bones (get it?). I may not be able to have them, but I can certainly respect them. J’adore les squelettes.
Sweet dreams
Converse S/S 2012 Preview: Do Ya Thang + A Chuck Taylor Manicure
Mar 2nd
Hey yo, shoefans.
Last night, I saw the future (sort of):
See that? Future. The very near future of footwear departments at select retail stores within Canada, that is… which still counts as the future in my blogpinion. (Hey – if scientists can reccommend that Justin Bieber be sent into space, bloggers can write authoritatively about future. This is fact.)
I actually hit the Converse Spring/Summer 2012 Press Preview Monday night at the Hotel Le germain in Toronto, is what happened, and LOOK! I got my fingernails turned into bebe shoes:
Photo via Micki
Er… more importantly, I got a chance to see some of the new kicks Converse will be rolling out for Canadians next season. Trust me — it is good.
"Model for me, Seany!"
I was immediately drawn to a table filled with shoes from the much-hypedConverse x Gorillaz Chuck Taylor collection (which launches in Canada this month):
Converse x Gorillaz and Converse x Marimekko
Have you heard that new Gorillaz ft. Andre 3000 and James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem) track yet? I’ve been loving on it for a week and had no idea until just now that it’s actually part of Converse’s huge “3 artists, 1 song” project.
Small freaking culture. Or it is? Smaaaart campaign. I’m impressed by it on so many levels. Those illustrations alone, jeez… Not to mention the video (!):
This is getting a lot of hype right now for all the right reasons. Dope song, wicked animation and, as many have taken note, Andre just slayyyys it with his verse. So fast. (Don’t get excited though, kidlets – this does not signal the return of Outkast, apparently. Whatever.)
Back to the shoes though, because the shoooooes the shoes! Good luck trying to have a meaningful conversation with me in a room like that. My eyes dart back and forth from shoe to shoe, bags to shades, posters to people, people to other people — their clothes and cameras, mostly…
I take a photo of Marcus Troy taking a photo of Jay Strut taking a photo of some Chuck Taylors. Ooooh photo chain. I hope there was a security camera or something on me. Probably not.
Here are some of my favourite pieces from the Converse Spring and Summer 2012 collections:
The Chuck Taylor All Star Dainty is a slightly more feminine version of the classic low-top. Wardrobe staple. I’m loving them in the summer materials – especially “Strawberry Pink”:
The ChuckIT Lady CVO: Lightweight slip-on Chucks with a nautical twist. If I ever make it out to the Yacht club, you’d best believe I’ll be wearing something like this. All the better to speed away from snooty guards when they catch me hopping the Yacht Club’s fence! “Get out of here, you vagrant city rat! Shoo! Well, I never! Myaw!”
The Chuck Taylor All Star Coast: The kicks are collapsible, meaning that they’ll fit into a suitcase just as well as your flip flops, and with a mesh upper they’re nearly as breathable too. Sold.
I’d be remiss not to include the Chuck Taylor All Star in this mix since I’ve owned more pairs of Chucks than any other single shoe style in my entire life (with the exception of those foamy almost-disposable beach flip flops from Old Navy. I go through like, 20 pairs a season legit).
Here are some of SS 2012′s seasonal colours — I’m loving on the purple (Irish Orchid) and the green (Green). And the creamsicle (Nectarine). Frig, I want them all. That dazzling blue, too.
Big ups to the fly lay-days from Wow Wow Nails for turning my fingernails into little kickers! I’ve been showing these off all day.
I’m off to get my hurrs did right now – at the Academy, because I’m too frugal for those fancy schmancy “$150 but you get a free teaaaaaa” salons right now. Saving up for a big, big trip! Gots to be smart.
Fingers crossed I don’t end up looking like this:
Kitty Cat Kicks and The Shit Girls Say
Dec 14th
Hi hi!
Behold: The Jeffrey Campbell Lita in Cat Tapestry *cue swooning and a little bit of that blathering sound Eleanor Abernathy makes*…
This is the first and last time you will see me celebrating kitten heels, beleedat.
Yeah, I’m late to the game. These shoes came out in September but I live in Canada so these are just hitting the shelves in my hood right now. I stumbled upon a pair at the Little Burgundy on Queen West today and was all “How do I… how do I even handle this?”
One minute, I’m popping into some shops on my lunch break to “check out the sales” and the next thing you know, I’m on my knees close to tears because they don’t have any left in my size.
Life. It's hard.
For the best, I suppose. I’m not (supposed to be) frivolous Lauren anymore – I’m responsible Lauren. Responsible Lauren doesn’t drop $160 (before tax) on shoes she’ll wear thrice – she spends her money on car insurance and parking tickets and bills and rent and other boring, sensible “grown up” things.
plungers are ultra-sensible when you have a clogged toilet
My latest shopping spree was last night. It involved me dropping a good chunk of change at Walmart on DIY plumbing supplies after I clogged the downstairs toilet with cat litter. You’re not supposed to flush that stuff, even if the package says “flushable”, I guess. At least not in mass quantities.
Who knew? (everybody, maybe).
Guess what though? The feeling I got from solving that problem was better than any post-shoe purchase high I could have experienced from the Litas. I felt accomplished. Self sufficient, even! I was quite amped, as you can, er, see…
LAU LAU FIXED THE TOI-LET! #IndependentWoman
Dec 12, 2011 | Source: Keek.com
I felt like a strong independent WOMUHN after unclogging that toilet (all by myself, thank you very much), but hot dang do I still love myself a sexy splash of soaring nostalgia on my pieds. Thanks, mommy, for talking me out of that purchase when I called in crisis.
You’re right. That money would be better spent toward something like a new coat, or boots I’d rock more than a few times… like some black Litas or motorcycle boots or some nice Doc Martens! Been wanting these for a minute:
I’ll have to settle for constructing my own feline footwear – for now. Thank goodness for Internet, ja? I just found this compendium of Crazy Cat Lady moments from the Simpsons… in German. God bless Youtube. Sweet, free, 24/7, 365, always enjoyable Youtube. I love you.
And speaking of Youtube, big ups to Kyle Humphrey and Graydon Sheppard (the guys behind @ShitGirlsSay) on the popularity of this video:
I love to see Toronto people lighting up the web. It gives me hope and, in this case, makes me laugh very much.
OH! Before I forget – thanks to everybody who entered Santa Claws’s big Samsung Galaxy SII 4G Superphone Giveaway. Over 95% of those who commented made it onto the list. So good, y’all.
Alas, I’m not one to judge who deserves anything more than anybody else (though a few comments impressed me quite thoroughly) so I enlisted a random number generator to pick from the qualified entrants. The winner was Anne Cayer – another Canadian blogger that I was lucky enough to discover through this contest. Congrats Anne – Hope you enjoy your new phone!
Errybody else keep your peepers peeled ’cause I’ve got another giveaway popping off tomorrow. A little one, but a fun one. Way fun
