Posts tagged shoes

Bart Simpson Sweater, Barbie-Leg Pumps and a big Humpday Linksplosion

If I wanted to make this a two-word-long blog post, I could probably do that.

Here’s how it would read:

THIS SWEATER.

-Lauren”

So, three words, I guess, including my name… plus a qualifier to tell you all that I was making a three-word-long  post just to make a three-word-long blog post, bringing the entire thing to maybe 18 words.

Plus a photo caption.

So, I guess I could make this a two-world-long blog post, then I’d have to go up and delete everything except for “THIS SWEATER” and who the heck am I,  Concision McGee? Quite the contrary, quite the contrary indeed.

Plus, I’ve got more to talk about right now than my sweet new sweater. It’s pretty sweet though, eh?

I picked this gem up just West of the Annex last week for about 1/5th of how much the one it’s a knock-off of  would cost (Jeremy Scott F/W 2012, you know the one.)

Some girl I spoke to when I was wearing that sweater Saturday night was all ”Why do you even tell people it’s fake? You should just say its real” to which I was like “Yeah, I could do that… If I were a total tool.”

A) Nobody in all of Liberty Village even knows who Jeremy Scott is because they all shop at places like  J. Crew or something and B) If anything, I’m proud of my sick thrifty finds. Anyone who would spend the cost on an iPad on ONE sweater — a printed sweater that can at best be worn thrice a year (once in photos) is way worse with money than I am.

Anyhoo, I got tons of compliments at our local watering hole, where girls seldom dress in homage to 10-year-old boys and 10-year-old boys aren’t welcome anywhere within the vicinity.
Yupster minds of Libville be BLOWN by dat ish.

My style may have been better appreciated if we had walked over to WQW and up Oz to DundasW like I had wanted to (IT WAS WARM, GUYS) but then again, I would have gotten less compliments because myaw, everyone is cool up there.

So, Bart Simpson Sweater: would you rock it?

Would that I were cool as Cara Delevigne...

How about these “Glitter Doll Heel Pumps” by Dumas then, hmmmm?

I would rock these for novelty’s sake, but only if they were free. 800$ to put butts under my heels? Cute concept, but no.

Lastly, Would you rock this lovely personal stomach pump?

Ewwwwwwwwww.

That was a total joke. I wouldn’t rock that if my life depended on it (and it would never.)

Judging by the comments on the story I just linked to and on other stories around the web, many others wouldn’t either.

It was actually pretty hard for me to write an article about AspireAssist without gagging, but I thought it was blogworthy concept. It feels so… Wall-E to me, you know? Scary almost, that these devices are being used medically in Europe right now.

Here are some other, slightly less creepy, a lot less unfunny points of interest.

LINKSPLOSION, ACTIVATE!

Man mocks his son’s selfie habit in the greatest photo I’ve seen today:

C’est tout. Bon nuit.

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CatWang, New kicks, Star Like Me, BBD!

*peers out from behind curtain of WAHHHH*

Hallo?

HALLO!

Hallo friends. I am BACKish now from my 4-day-stretch of flu-induced hibernation to BLOW YOUR MIND with the kind of wicked-ehss geekity goodness y’all know me for… or, rather, I would be if I hadn’t been laid out for 18 hours a day since this betch of a bug hit me, barely even able to Tweet – let alone eat. The upside to that: Willie helped me finish some cottage cheese the other day and it was adorrrrable.

The most I’ve actually been able to accomplish since Thursday was a trip to Sport Chek earlier this evening to buy some new running shoes and dayglo workout gear. I ain’t even mad if it was the cough medicine that influenced this particular purchase because my new kicks are chopahcalohpah:

I’m just making up words to troll you guys at this point.

I’ve actually been working pretty hard on a “Best of 2012″ post over the past couple of evenings. It’s taking a long time, but I suppose I should be thankful for that. I had one heck of a year.

Hopefully, I’ll get that one up right soon so that I can start cranking on some new blojects for 2013! I got some tings, I got some tings. But for now, please enjoy…

The fruits of my time spent playing with the CatWang iPhone app!!! It’s totally free and ridiculously fun (if you’re into putting lasers and cat heads and other cool things on your photos. Which you must be, if you’re here.)

This commercial for the HOT NEW SOCIAL NETWORK Star Like Me which was most certainly produced in a basement somewhere in the Eastern Bloc. Yeah, yeah, I know that the Eastern Bloc doesn’t exist anymore (as of 20 seconds ago — thanks Wikipedia.)

Facebook, Twitter, WATCH YO BACK(end)S — Star Like Me is taking over:

Bwahahahaha. <-- Yeah, that's the best joke I have right now, "Bwahahahaha." I'll provide the material - you provide the punchlines, guys, just for today (and maybe all of the Sunday mornings too.)

Azealia Banks dropped a new track on New Year’s Day called BBD (Bad B*tches Do it). “It’s Trap, but it’s Rave. it’s Banjee, But still a lil classy,” she said on Twitter. Love? Hate? Meh?

I was 6 and 7s about it until I listened to it for the 5th time. Now I can’t get enough of it, or the Angel Haze diss track (ooooh Diss track!) she dropped on Soundcloud yesterday, produced by MACHINEDRUM. It gets tight at 1:37: NERPRUHBLUMSNOPRUHBLERRRMS rah grumble grooo NOPRUUUHBRLEERMS.

Espice!

Hey guys… have you ever realized that THE BRAIN NAMED ITSELF?

Night night.

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Coltrane Cutouts, Buffalo Bill hoodie, Kitty Cat Island and the ones that got away…

Winter changes people, mangs.

They get pale. Sullen. Reclusive. COLD.

Some people gain weight in the wintertime. Me? I gain shoes. (And also soup stains on my white shirts because winter is a time of increased soup consumption and I’m really bad at eating.)

This is what happens:

Going for long walks around the West-downtown on the weekends is one of my favourite things in life to do.

I’ll go traipsing through Liberty Village and Queen West, West Queen West, Parkdale, over to Ossington, Dundas West, sometimes even Kensington Market and Little Italy. I don’t go looking for an adventure, but I often find one. At the very least, I see tons of great art and meet a few interesting people / animals.

Cold weather can’t stop my walking, but it does alter my path a little bit.

Instead of walking through alleys or parks, I walk alongside my favourite shops; the good boutiques along Queen West, from Bellwoods to Bathurst and Beyond.

I pop into one every couple of minutes to defrost and look at pretty things, but looking always leads to touching leads to holding leads to trying on and then I’m DONE. HOW ON EARTH DID I LIVE WITHOUT THIS DRESS THAT’S GOING TO SIT IN THE BACK OF MY CLOSET FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS UNTIL I WEAR IT ONE TIME AND THEN FORGET IT EXISTS?

I won’t forget that one though. You know why? Because I DIDN’T BUY IT.

It’s the ones that get away that haunt me the most. I might go back to Fitzroy on Saturday to pick it up for a holiday party if it’s still there. I tried on this dress by Bardot while I was there too, but I don’t need another LBD knowhatimsayin?

I was still thinking about how maybe I should have bought that dress when I walked into Jacflash. Perhaps that’s why I decided to buy my new Coltranes the second I set eyes on them (in the flesh.)

I’ve been seeing these sick Balenciaga knockoff cutout boots all over Tumblr and Instagram over the past year. I even looked into purchasing a pair one time, but alas, every major Jeffrey Campbell retailer online has bee sold the frick out for months.

ENTER JAC! Not only did she have a pair of metal cap-toed Litas ON SALE, but COLTRANES! In my size!

I didn’t even realize I was doing the NastyGal pose abover until just now. I spend too much time (browser) window shopping, maybe.

I was tempted to buy both of these Unif dresses too (CAUSE THEY LOOK SO FLOSSY WITH DEM COLTRANES) but I decided to hold off, as there are in fact bills to pay in life. Plus, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the top part of the first one looks like it was fashioned from something that puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Speaking of, Would you rock this hoodie that makes it look like you’re a dude without his shirt on / a head transplant recipient / Buffalo Bill?

HAHAHA, NOPE. And more importantly, No.

No more frivolous purchases for me. I’m saving up for a trip to cat island, which is a place that exist. Cat island is a place that exists. In Japan. Cat Island is a place that exists in Japan… Heaven… Japan… Cat Island

Sweet dreams :)

PS: This song.

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