Posts tagged life

Birthday fun, NMA Lauren, Harvey’s Love and a Brand New Weave


Hi kids, do you like violence?

I don’t.

So here, instead of watching me stick Nine inch Nails through each one of my eyelids, check out what I’ve been up to over the past month courtesy of my favourite thing EVER, Storify.



I love you, Luxy Hair… and also mom and dad for buying me a new weave. I feel like a mermaid :) IT’S A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!



Also, I forgot to tell you that I met Macklemore at a Red Bull Thre3style World Finals show. That was cool. He’s super, super nice.


In other weird news (and before I legit throw you over to the Storify,) that Taiwanese news outlet I’m obsessed with did a “death of Rob Ford” video (which, on its own, I’m rather nonplussed over) and there’s a CBC reporter who looks… well, some people say she looks like me. It’s most definitely a coincidence. A weird one, but a cool one:

Thanks to Jonny Bunning for the gif and for spotting that.

Annnnnd on another work-related note, you can watch me speaking about how a Moose-eating shark went viral on Reddit here if you’re so inclined. Please don’t mind my hurr. I had no idea I’d be on TV that day. So is the nature of news. I freaking love it.


One more thing. Big ups to Harvey’s for making me this — THE LAUREN O’NEIL BURGER, AHHHH!!!!

That’s a veggie burger on multigrain with ketchup, mustard, lettuce, onions, tomatoes and pickles for the record. I eat those suckers all the time. Copyright your own Burger here — maybe they’ll Vine yours too!

Okay. Okay. Here’s the massive photo / tweet/ gram dump. Plz enjy.

One more thing (really, the last thing, I swear) — I found this image on Tumblr last week and it took me like, 5 minutes (about 40 years in Internet time) to find the high-res original using reverse image search and the like. Here is a large copy for you, in case you also want to make it your desktop background. And why wouldn’t you?



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Waka Waka Waka…

Behold, the most-recently filmed-for-Youtube set of my bourgeoning local amateur standup comedy career!!!

Big ups to Saroox for filming that, and to all of the friends who’ve been coming out to see me joke. It’s the cats who make time to come out and support me who will get front row seats when I’m as famous as Louis C.K. hired to be Louis C.K.’s nanny for a few weeks and score some comps from my employer.

No but for real.


Sat, Aug 10:  Crown & Tiger on College, 8:30 p.m.

Mon, Aug 11:  Dawn Patrol, Comedy Bar

Tues, Aug 12:  Toronto Comedy Brawl Quarter-Finals, Johnny Jackson’s in Toronto

More to come from VELD, The Bridle Bash, The Grove Festival and more… busy summer, sheeeeeiiit.

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Leaving Liberty: New digs, ahoy! + SebastiAn and other things.

Hey hai happy humpday ladies and gentlekids! Now please, for the love of cripes, chill.

I did not delete my blog (okay, I did, but not on purpose or for very long) I am not lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did (see?) and like, thank you white knights for your “IS EVERYHING OKAY?!” messages but I do not need your *hugz* or “to talk?”

I’ve simply been busy… and perhaps a little bit too forthcoming with the emo-stagrams?

COME ON, IT’S ENDLESS WINTER! You’re depressed too.

In all seriousness though, I’m good.

Work is awesome awesome awesome, my comedy stuff is progressing nicely, and sheet, I’ll be darned if the exhaustion of Lau is not the evolution of Lauren as well.

In fact, I have some exciting (for me) news to share on that front…

BUT FIRST — please enjoy my new favourite (actually, second favourite… actually, third favourite) dance-centric French music video of all time; Embody by SebastiAn:

UNF! Right? Such a sick video.

Also grand? This image I found on Reddit the other day called “1993″ vs “2003″ :

This white-nosed black squirrel I found in a bush on King St. yesterday (!!!) :

This :


Annnnnd Anthony Jeselnik, Daniel Tosh (it’s Tuesday) and pretty much everything I Tumbled last night.

My longform blog here may be suffering under the weight of my schedule, but I’m active as ever out there in the weirdo clickyverse. If you want bite-sized funny, hit Clusterfizzle or Twittah.

But I digress.

Here’s what’s up: just over one week ago today, I signed the lease on a brand new pad — My first real grownup apartment. No roomies, no parents, no boyfriend, just me. BOOYAH / Holy f–k.

As cool as that is, it’s scary too.  I’m stressed out about moving my stuff again, kind of nervous about being responsible enough to manage my own householdish, and still very much dealing with the circumstances surrounding this move — but I’m also stoked as heck to be in a place where I can finally afford my own apartment in downtown Toronto.

I’d always kind of assumed that as a young journalist I’d have to sell at least 50 3D-printed kidneys on the black market BEFORE I could spend money on things like… lamps and tables for lamps to go on… so this is a big thing for me.

Leaving Liberty Village was a very conscious decision  – one that was bittersweet.

I loved this neighbourhood when I first moved into it a few years ago, but the deluge of new condos has made it feel like even less a part of the city than it was before, which is shocking considering how closed off it already is. There’s so little culture here too that the vibe feels almost… suburban.

My building has become choked out by new condos around it, overcrowded with obnoxious yuppies and uh, bye bye awesome view.

Judge for yourself. The rest of Toronto did, and I’m not just being a hipster. Liberty Village has changed — and in this girl’s opinion, not for the better. I will miss my crystal castle, but I’m happy about where I’m headed too (also downtown west.)

You’ll see tons of “LOOK AT MY NEW LAMP” photos once I actually move in a few weeks, but for now I’d like to reflect upon the apartment hunting process itself — because if there’s anything more hilariously frustrating than trying to find a second dancing James Brown doll to lampify, it’s trying to find a nice yet affordable 1 bedroom place to rent in a cool neighbourhood in the heart of Canada’s largest city.

Spoiler alert: I worked really effing hard.

(To be continued…)

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