Hey ladies…

Boy Lauren here. Lau Calderone. Why yes, that is my disco stick – but I’m happy to see you as well.

It’s Tuesday night and that crazy blonde betch hasn’t even blogged about the weekend yet, in all of its spiff and splendor. Wait – dudes my age don’t use words like “splendor” much, do they? Whatever. I’m not your average drag king blogstah. Believe me I said, I’m a goner.

Lau’s been go-go-go with all the video since Saturday. Three shot on the weekend and another 2 today, plus some vlogs. I think her fookin’ smile hurts, but it was a great weekend.

There were piggies and pants, poms and plaid shirts. pedals, pussycats, p…hresh air…

Here are some highlights:

1. Getting flirty new eyelashes, courtesy of BeFabulous Spa Studio (Eyelash Extensions Vlog Post and review forthcoming. Wait for it…)

2. Being a Sim.

I pretty much died when I saw that green diamond.

A young man and a young woman came over to me while I was gawking and offered to take my photo under it. As it turns out, they were the ones who put the diamond there. When asked why, the guy shrugged “just random fun, I guess”. The don’t even have a website. I was floored.

3. Texting and cycling through Liberty Village, just to feel like a badass. Apparently, it’s still considered “distracted driving” if you’re on a bike… #TheMoreYouKnow

4. Interviewing this guy. Super hot. (Video + CosmoTV post will be up this week)

5. Instagramming randos in the park. Why not?

6. Rollerblading all the way out to Etobicoke to pick up my car at the shop. A TTC train was stuck on this bridge and I felt superior. Plus, the view was nice.

7. Another Google Images bomb. FRIG OFF!


We had no idea that there was a cat show going on at The Ex until we got there on Sunday.

I’m not going to elaborate too much because we (Picard, Mike and I) shot a pretty intense video… but holy crap that was awesome.

9. SURPRISE MATCHING OUTFITS = also awesome. Plaid brigade! Not even planned:

No more CNE talk. The video will be entertaining, promise. I filmed John eating gross food things, myself bawling on whatever the carney equivalent of Power Tower Down is, AND I almost touched a cow’s butt hole. Almost.

10. Found out that Beyonce is pregnant with Jay-Z’s baby. This is what RocBaby will look like:

At least she’ll have money?


And last but not least, Indian train surfing looks like SO. MUCH. FUN. Don’t try this at home, kids:

Night night.

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