Posts tagged kattenstoet

Why are you reading my stupid blog right now, son?

Quantcast shows me that the greater majority of you do NOT hail from the cold, dark bottom of the sea and thus, are experiencing a really nice sunny day right meow. I tried blogging last night but went for a rollerblade instead. I tried to blog this morning, but hung out with my grandparents instead. I could blog now, but FRIGIT, I’m going for a bike ride.

I just took that with my mind.

Now please, make like I’m not doing at the moment and get off of your dang computer. Go double-fist pop and water on a Queen West patio while you laugh at hipster-wannabes from the 905

Is there anything lamer than somebody who consciously tries to look like a stupid hipster? Spends a crap-load of money on fedoras and high-waisted jean cutoffs? I mean, aside from someone who sits at home making fun of people on her blog?

Black Market’s got those shorts for $10, girlfriend. You can buy 8 pairs for what you paid at Urban Outfitters. Don’t even bother with the fedora, please. It’s been obnoxious since 2009. You’re not Joey Jeremiah.

Buy a bamboo Raiden hat for $3 on Spadina. They’re the next big thing, I swear.

Go rollerblading or something. Go shop for a jean jacket in Kensington market.

Try on a denim vest. It’ll remind you that denim vests went out of style for a reason.

And, if you really can’t go out and play (ie; you jumped out of your treehouse into your family’s new pool to impress every kid in your neighbourhood who just happened to be there, but at the last minute another kid yelled out that your epidermis is showing and you freaked out because you didn’t realize that EPIDERMIS means SKIN (HA HA!) and you accidentally fell onto the ground instead of into the water, which totally broke your leg) read all about Belgium’s cat festival, Kattenstoet.

neiuwsblad.de

I was in Ypres in 2000, but not for Kattenstoet. I didn’t even know yet that it existed – or that Belgians at one time threw cats from belltowers, either. The horror!

I will be there again in 3 years for the cat festival, mark my words.

There. That makes up for me missing Caturday, right?

Haiyo from Tickory!

NIZZLE, OUT.