Posts tagged gaming
You game brah?
I certainly was after hearing that Game On 2.0 (the world’s largest celebration of video games) was making it’s Canadian debut at the Ontario Science Centre last weekend.
I was SO game, in fact, that I made it a point to go ON OPENING DAY. But alas, I was le tired on Opening day so I went THE DAY AFTER OPENING DAY!
“From Pong to Guitar Hero; the Ontario Science Centre will host Game On 2.0 with more than 150 playable games from across the history of the medium – including pinball games – as well as rarely-seen consoles, controllers and collectables,” reads the first paragraph of the OSC’s press release announcing the exhibit.
I liked Raju Mudhar’s description better: A great arcade without the quarters.
Was it ever.
But it was (sort of) educational too.
Not going to lie though — this exhibit had nothing on those video game stores in Paris I freaked over a few years ago.
Here’s the full tale of my adventure:
I woke up late Sunday morning and, after drinking coffee and showering and stuff, headed up to the Ontario Science Centre in my car car.
The horn it went beep beep!
What would have been almost 25 bucks was 17 0r so, leaving me enough scrilla left over from my 20 to buy a coooold pop. I’ve definitely got time for that.
… But as you can see, it was on the 6th floor, which means that I had to pass many eye-catching exhibits along the way… and I get distracted very easily.
Some elaborate Rube Goldberg thing!
WINGS! How fast can YOU flap ‘em? Me = not very fast. Especially with one arm reserved for iPhoning.
I stumbled upon a craft section that was cute — it had something to do with kinetics, maybe? — so I stopped to make a contribution to the growing body of work.
This is my contribution: Shoop.
And THIS below, THIS was the coolest. You basically sit in a booth while some machine scans your face and then PRINTS IT OUT on a huge screen of water that hovers over the entire section in water droplets.
BOW TO ME, I’M KIM DOTCOM!
Let’s move on to the games, shall we?
There were old-school classics like PONG, PACMAN and some Russian arcade games from what looks like a person in the 1950′s idea of what the future looked like…
I was stoked to see some early concept sketches of Donkey Kong and Mario (nee: “Jumpman”) up close…
It was also cool to play some of the arcade games I dug as a kid. So. many. quarters. I’m pretty sure my brother and I blew our entire inheritance on Virtua Fighter at the cottage arcade when we were kids.
Don’t even get me started on NBA Jam.
I played this weird but fun jousting game from Denmark with one of the science centre technicians, a couple of my fellow nostalgic twenty somethings, and the coolest / cutest little boy EVER.
After that, I met another, considerably LESS cool little boy who wouldn’t stop commanding me to let him play Parappa the Rapper.
Boy: “KAI PLAY?”
Me: “Sure, I’m almost done.”
Boy: “GIVE IT TO ME NOW!”
Boy: “I WANNA PLAYYYYY.” *tries to steal controller from my hand*
Me: “AS IF, JERK!”
Me: *runs away before his parents come*
That Moose was kind of a jerk too, but aside from that I had a really good time… and that’s all I’m saying for now. Go experience the exhibit yourself! Like I said – 20 per cent off with a CAA card or student card.
Don’t stop. Don’t give up. Don’t use a cheat code and don’t you dare press pause. Not even when your mom calls you for dinner for the third time. Not even if you’re having tacos. NOT EVEN IF YOU’RE HAVING CHOCO TACOS.
Sometimes, it’ll get hard. You’ll face obstacles and challenges and stupid suns that swoop down from the sky and try to kill you sometimes. But you can’t turn back because you have no other choice unless you’re willing to die.
Go right, homie. Just keep on going right. Believe you me, all frustrations aside, when you finally get to your goal you’ll be sad the adventure is over.
Sorry. The music swell in that video got me all emotiony and metaphorizcal-like. That, and the many, many memories of pixelated death that came rushing back into my brain. Freaking Ghosts N Goblins. If you know anybody who’s actually beat that game, send them my way for a handshake and a chocolate taco.
WTH is a Chocotaco though, for real? I saw it when I Google Imagesed “funny taco.” It looks disgusting.
If your mother actually feeds you Chocotacos for dinner, call Children’s Aid. Unless, of course, you’re 35. If you’re 35 and your mother feeds you Chocotacos, HUG HER RIGHT NOW.
I wish my mom still made dinner for me. Is it so much to ask that she drives 4 hours to stir-fry my tofu? I’ve got to MICROWAVE it MYSELF… LIKE AN ANIMAL!
I’m calling Children’s Aid on myself.
Oh. Hellz. No.
Beaten at my own game with my own weapon? This stings, guys. I never thought I’d be saying this (typing this… whatever), but eff you Justin Bieber. You AND your corn.
I don’t remember how exactly I came upon Tweet Fighter II, but it’s been chilling in one of my 57 open Firefox tabs for a couple of weeks now.
I like Twitter and I LOVE Street Fighter so when I re-found it I was like “BLOGGAGE”… and here we are.
This “game” (which is significantly less entertaining than the arcade version I STILL dominate, thank you very much) pits Tweeters against each other and affords them hit power based on their *cough* Klout scores.
A few months ago, some guy compiled a list of Toronto’s top Tweeters based on their Klout scores and I was NUMBER ONE FAHKYEAH, which means that I win at life.
I never really Twote or blogged about that because I was in France at the time doing Cannes stuff, and also because I think Klout is boolshit boolshit boolshit.
No offense, Klout – I mean, I do love the idea of quantifying popularity – but can I really take your shiz seriously after you deemed me influential about bacon? I haven’t eaten the stuff since I was a child – and even if I had, how can one really influence others when it comes to BACON? Most of the bacon eaters I know are pretty self-motivated. Just saying.
In all seriousness, you guys should go +K me in “cats” because I’m a hypocritical jerkhole.
ANYHOO, Let me put this in perspective with the following (hilarious) planetary infographic / joke I nabbed from BoingBoing the other day.
Hence why, even with a weapon I’ve used to pwn MANY a foe in the corn fields behind my parents’ subdivision, Bieber stomped me out with one click in Tweet Fighter II.
I should point out that Mr. Bieber got to hit first because Ryu is automatically Player 1 and I wanted to be Blanka (obvs). Those were the only two character options. No E. Honda, no Dhalsim, no Chun Li.
Even if I had been able to go first, I would have lost because Justin Bieber has a Klout score of FREAKING ONE HUNDRED! Victory. C’est ne pas possible.
Whatever. I know in my heart that I would CRUSH the Biebs in an actual corn fight. In fact, I hope that someday I get a chance to do just that. Bieber grew up approximately 2 hours from my hometown in a place every bit as farmy as Chatham (though slightly more Shakespearean). I’m sure the kid knows his way around a cornfield.
Furthermore, I would stomp anyone in a real game of Street Fighter – any system. You name it.
Remember that kid at the cottage who always used to sneak off to the ice-cream shop and play arcade games while the other kids got “sunshine” and made “friends” and stuff? Yeah, that was me – and I’ve got a tight Chun Li speed kick to show for it.
Buy me this and you can come over to get your ass kicked ANY TIME, mutha licka!
That’s all for now. I’ve got to get to bed… Monday morning awaits. Yay.
In a strange but semi-related turn of events, I slept SO MUCH this weekend. I was really only awake for about 12 hours in total – 6 of which were spent at the gym. Chronic insomnia can only persist for so long before your body crashes, I guess….
Also, Benadryl rules.
P.S. Remember SkiFree? I just found this. Hehe. Memories.