Posts tagged christmas
Hey, hi, happy holidays homies! And a very merry Christmas to you from Ikea Monkey, The O’Neil family, dozens of dearly departed cocktail shrimp and all of your friends (okay, friend) here at laurenoutloud.com:
Groundskeeper Willie is not one of your friends if you’re pet shop Santa, clearly.
That photo is from last Christmas, but it’ll never get old because it’s a classic — like Woll Smoth and the 2/10 would not bang thing and innocent mischief and the act of bringing one’s laundry home for mom to do because she’s just way better at than you’ll ever hope to be…
Here are a few photos from the past couple of days in Chatham and Windsor doing Xmas 2012 — relatively low-key with lots of family, food and fawesome fpresents, just the way I flove it.
Oh! And before I forget, the winner of LOL’s BIG 2012 CHRISTMAS SMARTPHONE GIVEAWAY is Ravi Steve with his super soup (get it?)
Big ups to all of the generous contest entrants – if it were up to me, you’d all win phones and ponies too.
I’ve got to “GET OFF OF THAT COMPUTER, LAUREN!” now, but first I must share with you this video from Slacktory in which one man attempts to answer the age old question: “what if Santa were a finance worker named Dave Penderson who drove a 1998 Ford Focus?”
Merry Gifmas to all, and to all a good 5 more minutes that are left of Christmas.
Yesterday was one of those days — the highly memorable kind that you could totally call “a rollercoaster” if it had been anything other than stellar for the first 80 percent of it… Or if I had spent it at Cedar Point or Wonderland or something.
It all started out dreamily with some DIRELY needed hair TLC at Sparks in Liberty Village (full review of that adventure coming soon, but long story short: Sparks Salon = beauty heaven and Liquid Keratin = gorgeous hair in a bottle.)
Then, I spent some quality time with the boys…
Did some last minute Christmas shopping…
Hit the gym, computed a little, packed my car and hit the road to head home for Christmas.
Vinyl Tap was on the radio, my coffee cup was full, and I was only 4 hours away from SLEEPING IN MY SWEET BED IN CHATHAM!
Or so I thought.
Scumbag car strrrrrikes again! WHY MAN? WHY? Just as I’m getting on the 427 you decide to overheat? Why are you so hot? IT’S FREEZING OUTSIDE!
I called my dad who advised me not to drive four hours West with the gauge at full H and the check engine light on. My boyfriend, his brother, and everyone else I talked to agreed, and since I couldn’t get one person to give my bright idea at the very least a “meh, you’ll be okay,” I did the next best thing.
Anybody know a 24/hr auto repair shop that’s open 24 hours? Right now?
— Lauren O’Neil (@laurenonizzle) December 23, 2012
It was a long shot. I’d already pulled over and started Googling shops in the area on my iPhone to see what time they’d be open the next day, fully resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t be able to make my family Christmas today.
And then this popped up on my screen:
@laurenonizzle Apparently Bento’s on Dundas 416-533-2500
— Tania (@tania) December 23, 2012
“Huh,” I thought. “Worth a try.”
30 minutes later, this:
IT WAS A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!
Not only were the guys at Bento’s able to take me in right away, they got me back on the road within an hour — All because Tania took the time to reply to my tweet.
She didn’t have to do that. She could have let the tweet pass by and clicked over to something more entertaining, but she took the time to find and send me that number instead.
Scumbag car overheats on the highway; Good guy Twitter followers help me locate a 24 hr mechanic within minutes.
— Lauren O’Neil (@laurenonizzle) December 23, 2012
That little gesture made a world of difference to me — the difference between making it home in time for my extended family Christmas in Windsor and having to catch a train home the next evening with four huge bags of gifts in tow.
Thank you, Tania. You saved my Christmas with your simple act of kindness, and that does not deserve to go unrecognized or un-paid-forwarded.
So here; I donated a mango tree to a school in Africa through Plan Canada in your name (which I wrote as @tania since I don’t know your last name and wanted this to be a surprise.)
Just a small token of my appreciation that I hope makes someone’s life a little better, like your speed-Tweeting that shop’s number did for me.
Now for the Holiday Party Roundup Part 2 (Y’all can see Part 1 here) complete with 140 character party reviews once again — enjeezy!
Last but not least, this:
Don’t read the comments. Just believe…
I’ve been writing a “Christmas wish list” every December for as long as I can remember.
When I was a kid, these lists were written out by hand in pencil crayon (Sky Magenta by Laurentian what up!) and addressed to Santa — which I hear is still a thing, somehow, even in the age of information.
They almost always included “a real live puppy” and at least 10 flashy toys I’d seen in TV commercials during my Saturday morning cartoons; the Super Soaker 2000, Veterinarian Barbie, The Talkback Dear Diary… Stuff that seemed so much cooler pre-iPhone.
When I eventually found out that all of the grownups I knew were (incredibly generous) LIARS, I started giving Christmas lists to my parents instead.
My mom still asks me for them, but these days the only thing I really want come Christmas morning is a strong cup of coffee and some chill time at home.
Or so I thought.
I decided that this year, instead of a typed out email list, I’d make a Christmas Pinterest board with all of the items I’ve bookmarked on my favourite online shopping sites recently… and then some.
Finally, I see the value of this beast! TO HELP ME CONSUME!
I decided to share my Christmas Wishlist with y’all in case you’re looking for something to buy the weird, kind of nerdy fashion-loving, 27-year-old female in YOUR life — I also requested things like”black socks! white socks! memory cards! more black socks!” and “A REAL LIVE PUPPY!” is in an email list to my mother. But those things are a given.
Basically, cats and skeletons. Also money for improv classes or one of those working holiday programs. That would be cool.
I actually stumbled upon this sweet rapping paper on the pinny while building my list / board… listboard? loard? blist?
As much as I love Eminem, I’d go for Rapper’s Delight in Green if I were to buy some of that stuff FOR EIGH FREAKING DOLLARS A SHEET. Instead, I’ll wrap my gifts in whatever my mom’s got in the basement on Christmas eve because that’s just how I do.
Speaking of wrap and Christmas, have you see DMX doing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on some radio show yet? It’s a beautiful rendition of the song.
The gift of giving is a nice one too.
Of ALL the days to skip going to IKEA (which, so far, has been every single day of my life save for maybe 7 of them) I HAD to choose the one in which a monkey showed up to shop in a darling little shearling coat, making international headlines (and also this video:)
I can’t stop thinking about Ikea monkey. ALL DAY I’ve been thinking about him because he’s everywhere I look, and I ask myself — Why? Why didn’t I go to the North York Ikea at approximately 2 p.m. in the afternoon yesterday? Could it be because I hate Ikea? Because I don’t ever go to North York? Because I had better things to do with my time?!?
Well, yes for the first two and maybe for the third if you call getting groceries in the ghetto and watching cartoons better than meeting Darwin the It Monkey, with his undeniable superstar swagger (and I do.)
I was too busy exploring the wonders of the Doity Duff to catch the meme’s crescendo. That was my way-too-late-to-be-relevant submission to the pool.
Anyhoo, I would have at least written a story about Ikea Monkey at work today if several of my colleagues hadn’t already done so. Fortunately, Bowman’s Storify is really good so I can just link off to it here and finally put some closure to cute baby monkey gate 2012. Whew. What a day.
Now let’s get down to what I need to do: Write about parties. *sigh* When did my blog turn into that?
Methinks the lady doth go out too much…
But alas, it is December and, like September, this is a doozy of a month for my iCal.
I haven’t even had a chance to write about turning 27 yet (but I will – trust.)
This holiday season, I’m doing 140 character party reviews again just like I did during TIFF because:
A) The people who invite me to these parties mostly do so because they want me to blog about them.
B) If I took the time to write out full individual posts about each party I went to I wouldn’t have time to GO to any parties, let alone work all day and shop for Christmas and go to the gym and do all of the other things that keep me sane during this most cluster fizzed of seasons.
C) I could do short crappy posts about each party, but that’s not my style. I hate short crappy posts. Call me old school but I’ve always pictured myself as more Thought Catalog than 9Gag… With pictures. So maybe VICE? VICE minus all of the other writers and boobs and drug trips in the jungle and stuff. And make my blog more interesting to people other than me.
Here’s laurenoutloud.com’s 2012 Holiday Party Roundup PART ONE:
Lots of things coming up this week and next – I’ve already had to skip so many for sleep and sanity’s sake. I’m getting better at this in my old age, you see. Beauty sleep >; Late night McFiestas.
Do you want to party with me Saturday night? I’d love it, and you can do just zat zis Saturday, Dec. 15th, at Oxford Beach’s 3rd Annual ‘A Toronto Christmas’ in support of GlassFrog!
I’ve got two tickets to give away. Read on to find out how to win!
From the event description:
“Toronto’s swankiest charitable Christmas party is back at Steam Whistle Brewery this holiday season!
The third annual A Toronto Christmas is proudly in support of GlassFrog International Aid Organization! Grab a festive cocktail dress or bow tie and join Toronto’s beautiful young professional crowd for a great cause!
The party starts at 9 pm with great live music by one of Toronto’s hottest cover bands, Stiffler’s Mom and continues with DJ Rouge and DJ Mike Wilson until 2:00am.”
Tickets are $40 each but, like I said, I’ve got a PAIR OF THEM to give away.
HOW TO WIN
I’m over Tweet2Win contests and sort of hate them a lot. So instead, comment below with the link to a cute holiday themed photo. Be sure to leave an email address and I’ll draw one random name from all of the entries to win the pair of tickets by Friday morning. Voila!
Allow the the 12 Days of Grumpy Cat Christmas over at Burrzfurrrrd to inspire you:
The dressy parties start this weekend
Tidings of comfort and joy,
Happy holidizzle, y’all,
Has the onslaught of crappy branded advent calendars and Black Friday death videos in your Twitter feed got you feeling a little bit less than holly-jolly this pre-Christmas season?
Ebeneezer Snoop has a message for you within this 4 minute and 20 second long video (!) and it includes the sentence “Bah Humbizzle, I can’t wait for this season to be Feliz Navi-DONE,” so obviously I’m in deep romantical love with it (the first minute, anyway. I kind of scrubbed through the rest of it.)
I don’t even care that it’s an adiadas ad, guys — this is my new favourite Christmas movie EVER after Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, Home Alone and that episode of the Simpsons where Bart and Homer get Santa’s little helper, which isn’t technically a christmas movie, but I like the Festivus episode of Seinfeld a whole lot too and that’s not a movie either so *LOGIC*
Adding to my love is the fact that the illustrated parts were done by J. J. Sedelmaier of Beavis and Butthead / SNL’s Ambiguously Gay Duo / Harvey Birdman fame. Respect.
Also, animated K-Pop girl group 2NE1 wearing Jeremy Scott (’cause apparently, they’re like his muses now or something. The circle of cool feels like a freaking washer lately, eh?)
Big ups to adidas and Sid Lee for this entire campaign. It’s awesome.
I’m not huge into the Facebook component, but it’s kind of cute that you can send your friends “un-scrooging” e-cards from the ghost of David Beckham.
Also cool to see that adidas has “Ebeneezer Snoop” running their Twitter account for the holiday season. I’ve been told about the #bahumbizzle hashtag multiple times already. It’s as if people can’t figure out where I got MY izzle from in the first place.
— adidas(@adidas) December 1, 2012
Integrated social media marketing campaigns usually make me roll my eyes and scoff and feel better about myself as someone who isn’t (that kind of) douchebag, but adidas is a goldenbrand. They can do no wrong. Plus, Snooooo-OOP!
And while I’m on that adicolor tip, have you seen 2Chainz, the 8Bit video game? Now THAT’s effing clever (and pretty fun to play.)
This is starting to sound like a big freaking advertisement for adidas itself. It’s not. Frig, I wish I could get paid to blog about Snoop DOGG. Yeah that’s right, I went there.
Onto something smart AND important – also not rapper related – “A long-running, increasingly heated debate over who controls the global internet is coming to a head this week as officials meet in Dubai for the World Conference on International Telecommunications (WCIT).”
This is an important story to pay attention to, even if you don’t read the one that I wrote. But you should
Happy ho ho, homies!
That beautiful wreath is made from a collage of mammalian cell images by Donna Beer Stolz, a Pittsburgh-based biologist who placed in the 2011 Nikon Small World Photomicrography Competition. It makes me feel like this:
Did you get everything your little heart desired this day of GREED? I did
All I wanted at all, all I NEEDED was for Mom and Dad and Brodie to like what I got them and they did. I loved the things they got me too. So it’s gravy. I feel like a lot of people are showing off their “hauls” on Youtube, but I don’t really feel right doing that… Christmas isn’t about presents. It shouldn’t be. It’s about enjoying the crisp weather and laughing at everything with my loved ones and comparing the size of my cat to the size of that turkey…
… and watching my parents try to figure out what the heck an Apple TV is. “Does I need to get an iApple for it?” asks mom.
Reddit got us all something pretty sweet today…
Buzzfeed made a compendium of 25 Youtube Comments that are actually hilarious. This made me laugh out loud at least 7 times (12, 14, 16, 21, bwahahaha):
A producer for this Toronto-based comedy show called “The El Em Eh Show” sent me a cute video yesterday and I’m posting it because both of those dudes are hot and it’s Christmas and hey, root root root for the home team.
Speaking of Teeyoh talent, The Weeknd dropped Echoes of Silence a few days ago. Merry Christmas to all of us. It’s so beautiful. Track 5 will be on repeat in my car all day tomorrow, believe that.
The Weeknd’s stuff hits me pretty hard when I listen to it. Maybe it’s all the intense dusky sounds, or the fact that I feel I can relate to his lyrics because we’re around some of the same scenes here in Toronto. I know those feelings, the darker sides of party life… He writes incredibly well. Whatever it is, it makes me feel.
I just saw this video for The Morning (off of House of Balloons) recently. It made me choke. It’s not new, but it’s… man. It’s good.
Speaking of videos, I have one heck of a Youtube joint coming along for you tomorrow!
Girl put in work, girl girl put in work…
Hay guy! You haven’t rolled out of the North Pole yet, have you? I know it’s a little last minute, butttt if you happen to have room for an extra pair of leggings or 70 on that big shiny sleigh of yours, we blogger chicks of Ontario would be much obliged
Honestly, I don’t even mind if you have to dress Rudolph and the gang up in my future threads to save space. Prancer will relish the chance to don some JCs – I just know it!
Anyhoo, I’ve been a good girl this year. I didn’t cook while driving or rob any art galleries or even pose as a plastic surgeon and inject cement into a woman’s butt implants or anything!
You know what else? I made my face look like a duck’s as often as humanly possible in order to make everyone else around me seem cooler by comparison. You see Santa, I am kind like that.
I held the door open for soooo many people, too. one time I even waited for like, 20 seconds while the douche behind me strolled on up like we all had nothing better to do than stand around holding doors open. I couldn’t very well drop the door once holding had commenced because I’m Canadian and well… damned if you do, damned if you don’t. It was incredibly frustrating.
Okay, so here’s what I want:
Like the packaging says, they’re “ideal for night blogging!” – something us blogger girls tend to do a lot of. Especially those of us with day jobs. Rumor has it you can find these at the dollar store now… and by rumor, I mean my best friend (also a blogger) found some there. SCORE!
A subscription to Tattly.
Ink is hot right? I love the look of fresh tats, but not on myself because this blogger girls falls in love with something new after every seventh click. If I hadn’t made a conscious decision to abstain from tattoos back when I was 18, Pete Wentz and Soulja Boy would be holding hands on my back right now. Enter Tattly – “designy temporary tattoos” that, honest to goodness, I would be proud to rock for multiple years. A Tattly subscription would bring 8 new tattoos to my mailbox every single month, ensuring that I’m never inkless – but always rocking something new. WANT.
Black Milk… everything.
Leggings, Dresses, Swimsuits. Skirts. Can you maybe just bring me everything from Black Milk Clothing‘s catalogue? If that’s not possible, I can make do with the Galaxy leggings. And the Jaws bikini. And the Buscemi dress. And the 3D Rib Dress. You know what? Let’s stick with “everything”. Thanks Santa. Love you babe
A Simpsons Skateboard by Santa Cruz
I blogged about these back in July. Remember, Santa? I hope you’ve had time to find all 5 of these decks (plus an extra Duff longboard, for riding). They’re going to look great mounted on my wall. Eee! And while we’re on the subject of Springfield, this Simpsons chess set is also dope. Just a thought.
A Pet’s Eye View Camera:
To find out who’s REALLY stealing all of those mittens / socks / hair elastics / necklaces while I’m at work. Prediction: it’s not the gnomes. Prediction 2: This gift will result in so many great Youtube videos… if you’re into a cat food.
A Robot USB hub + Card reader:
!!! He’s functional, adorable, space saving, and he WALKS too. This doesn’t need much explanation.
Some Jeffrey Campbell Shoes
Remember what I said about Black Milk? Same deal. I want everything that JC makes. All of it. Or, at the very least, a new pair of Litas – because what’s a blogger girl without at least 20 pairs of Litas? I’d be laughed off of Lookbook without ‘em. The kitty-cat print shoes, if you can find them, would be ideal. If not, every single pair of these should do. You rule, Santa *kisses*
A DIY Cross-stitch iPhone 4 Case.
A Kitty-Cat Parade Tee.
A USB Typewriter
Because the nostalgia market is on FIRE right now! How sweet would somebody look blogging on one of these bad boys at the coffee shop? Works with Mac, PC, and – my favourite – the iPad. I’ve always said that those things need a better (read A) keyboard. BAM.
A Goat from Free The Children:
It’s not actually for me – though I do love goats. I want a goat for a family in Africa. They can drink her milk and breed her to make MORE goats for MORE milk and improve the quality of their lives greatly. Goats rule! This would be a lovely gift from you, Santa.
Cambridge Satchel Fluro
“Affordable” and “It Bag” have long been contradictory terms. The fact that I wouldn’t have to sell my car for this, one of 2011′s most buzzed about beauties, is awesome. But that’s not why I want it. This bag is simply cute and cheery as heaven. That said, I’d gladly accept a Céline Luggage Tote over one of these if you’ve got some extra scrilla to spend. Such a pretty little face!
The Glow Graffiti Light Paint Can:
Just think of all the sweet photos I could post on Instagram…
I could continue forever Santa – there really are a lot of want-worthy things out there right now. More than I could ever care to own, but desire nonetheless. I love so hard, ya know?
What I want the most this Christmas though, is to be healthy and happy and with the ones I love. Truly, this is all I need to be happy…
And also a new MacBook Pro. And a Canon 7D. And maybe a few animation courses at a really good design school… and a penthouse loft in New York City… and a pony that washes my face every night with her tongue that’s made of washcloth, and her saliva which is 100% fancy face wash.. the kind my mom uses.
.. But it’s totally the new thing. Everybody’s listening to it Portland right now. Portland and Berlin. Those are pretty much the meowstep capitals of Earth according to some guy I just met on the streetcar who says that he used to write for Pitchfork.
What, did you actually think we’d still be listening to Dubstep after Skrillex cracked the Top 40? As if.
And yes, superkeeners – I realize that this is Frodo, not Skrillex. It’s the context of the… you know what? Nevermind. Thanks for that though.
Meowstep can best be described, in my opinion, as “Jingle cats meet neo-rave noise”. And it is good. And we all love it.
It’s no dogstep, but there are cats so it’s obviously 100% blogworthy. If that cat were Siamese, I’d probably just have my domain name redirect to this video. But it’s not so you get my splash page. Heyheyhey!
Now, please enjoy this classic Christmas video, beloved by every man woman and child in Canada who had MuchMusic on their dial during the 90s.
It doesn’t have any wobble, but looks at all of those little santa hats! Squeeee!