Posts tagged boys

Lauren’s Life Lessons: Cabbie wisdom, Cosby coats and Motionball 2012

Mannnns, what is up?

I learn just short of 10-grillion new things every day and the day of yester was no exception, nor was Friday.

For instance, did you know that image macros can be traced back to the early 1900s? Or that Konami is bringing back the Simpsons arcade game? Or that some blonde idiots say things like “day of yester”? Or, most importantly, that Willow Smith has shaved her head? (What chu gun’ whip NOW, kid?)

As always, the most important things I absorbed this week happened away from the computer after I was sprung from the ninetofive clink. LEGGO:

Lesson 1: My problems are not problems.

I raced home after work on Friday night in a terrible mood. I was feeling stressed and lost and a little bit sad that I didn’t have enough time or money to buy a new dress for the evening. After spiffing myself up the best I could in 35 mimutes, I hopped into a cab and got proverbially bitch-slapped by the universe.

Hi there, can I go to _______ please?” I asked the driver.
Certainly ma’am. This is a nice place. Are you going to a party?
Yeah, a fundraiser thing… you should totally come!” I joked.

He laughed softly and told me that he wasn’t in the mood to party.

Why not?” I prodded like a dumb jerk.
Well, my wife and I have separated. Last week. And I love her still, very much.
Oh… I’m so sorry…” I said. “Maybe you’ll get back together?

This was a stupid thing to say in retrospect, because for the next ten minutes my new friend spilled his guts. He told me about how he’d moved to Canada alone and waited for his wife and children to arrive. Six long years he waited. Then, a few months ago, they came to Canada and all was good — until his wife told him that while he’d been away she contracted AIDS from another man.

It’s not safe for me to be with her now,” he said. “I love her, but I have no choice. We cannot be together.

And oh yeah, wahhhhh I’ve worn this dress before. Twice. *sosbs*

Perspective, mang.

Lesson 2: Always take a picture of your coat check ticket.

This was a practical lesson, taught to me by one sharp young woman working coat check at the Carlu Friday night. I forget her name, but I know it ended in an “H”…

Anyhoo, I told said girl that I always lose my coat check tickets and she gave me a tip that will undoubtedly save me and every person who reads this post a lot of frustration in the future.

Big ups to you, coat check chick. Thanks for watching Creeps :)

Lesson 3, also practical: Don’t go into a money booth with a chiffon dress.

See previous post.

Dec 31, 1969 | Source:

Lesson 4: I’d rather go to the ball with another princess than a handsome prince.

Don’t get me wrong — I love getting dressed up and going to a function with my boyfriend, but I always have about ten times more fun when I go to a superparty with one of my girls. Who better to check out all of the cute boys in suits with? :) Casie = party partner perfect. We had an effing blast flitting around and making new friends. The green dresses weren’t planned, but it worked out well.

Big ups to the Motionball team for everything you do. A lovely evening, a worthy cause.

Lesson 5: I’ve got to stop making that stupid duckface.

Right Mona?

Lesson 6: Willie thinks he’s a hooman.

That thing he did the one time where he sat on a bar stool and leaned on the counter like a people? It’s become a routine — and I can’t get enough of it. Everybody was getting a kick out of him the other night when he plopped down to hang.

Lesson 7: You don’t need to buy something just because it’s cool…

You can take a photo and move on instead! I almost bought the coat above from Bungalo on Friday, but am quite glad now that I didn’t waste $40 on it. I think it’s kind of great, but know in my heart of hearts that it would just end up chilling in my closet. I do need a new coat and I dig the print but… I don’t know. It’s a little bit too Kensington (read: Value Village) for me. Would you rock it?

/ Life Lessons.

I’m going to go downstairs and help Sean clean up the mess from his Superbowl party now before I hit the sack. Great little shindig, but mannnn is football food ever messy!

More on that tomorrow :)

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Justin Wu’s Boys of Fashion Week and Marshall McLuhan’s Birthday

If the things that happened inside my head while watching this video were real, I would be the hugest slut you know right now. And also incredibly pregnant.

I don’t even care that most of these boys are my little brother’s age. Look at them.

It certainly doesn’t hurt that they’re stuntin’ and skating and goofing around Paris. Playful is hot and hot is hot and nobody is hotter than a great male model – not even my cat (I mean that in a NON romantical way… come on meow.)

Don’t get me wrong, I adore looking at female models (especially when they’re wearing gorgeous threads) but there’s a lot you can do to enhance the way a woman looks from a beauty standpoint. Then again, boys do wear makeup a lot in that industry..

I think the fact that I’m sexually attracted to people with only one X chromosome might have more to do with this. Either way, I’m rambling.

Please allow me to brag shamelessly for a moment about how the creator of this beauty went to my Alma Mater. Justin Wu is a big deal. I met him when he came to Toronto for “fashion week” in the fall and was impressed by how humble and cute he was.

At least one of the boys in that video has walked in local fashion weeks as well. I’ve shot him several times (with a camera, not a gun) and that doesn’t make me pretty by proxy, but it gives me something to brag about on my blog so myawwwww.

If you didn’t catch the Dandy Warhols Male Model Lip-Dub back in January, I highly recommend checking that one out too.

Beautiful People + Lip Dubs = Good. Yeah, that’s the best adjective I could come up with right now. Been a long day.

Remember when the Kardashians lip dubbed Katy Perry’s E.T? Hahahahahaha. I’m not going to link to it here because their mother disgusts me. Google it if you must. It’s lulzy in a sad, annoying Kate Gosselin-esque way.

Oh! it’s Marshall McLuhan’s 100th birthday today too. Rather, it would have been if he were still kicking.

One year ago, this would have been the top story on my blog and I would have done something thoughtful. I miss being a smart girl. I miss school.

Here are some rootin’ tootin’ Mcluhanisms for you and a great compendium of articles written around this occasion. That’ll have to suffice this year. Maybe in 2012 my brain will be back in shape.

Bon nuit.

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Dear Students: Please masturbate elsewhere


Is this for serious? Are the boys in U of T’s residence buildings actually clogging up the pipes by… unclogging their pipes? (Sorry. There’s no tactful way to phrase this one.)

Maybe some prankster got his (or her) hands on University of Toronto letterhead and decided to have a bit of fun…

Or maybe those poor kids really are overworked and under… played.

(via buzzfeed)

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