Posts tagged animals
Paws Gala 2012: 99 Problems but a Bitch Ain’t One (ft. Theron Humphrey & Maddie)
Oct 10th
Thursday, Thursday, THURSDAY!
Scratch that — let’s call it FURsday! *ba dum tisk* Waka Waka Waka!
When I was little I would say that line constantly, just like Fozzie Bear on the Muppet Babies after he would make a joke — except weird little Lauren would say it after everything.
“Mommy, Can I have some apple juice? WAKA WAKA!”
If I were a rapper, I’d name myself in Fozzie Bear’s honour and wear a $100,000 chain featuring his likeness around my neck erryday… IF SOMEONE HADN’T ALREADY DONE THAT!
Waka Flocka Flame: “Welcome to the Goodburger, can I take your orrrrder?”
Me: “Yeah, I’d like my steez back, please.”
Waka Flocka Flame: “It was mine first, and who says ‘steeze?’ anyway?”
Me: “I don’t know… people in California circa 2007?… Whatevs. We can share this Fozzie Bear thing if you give me that chain and two veggie burgers to go.”
And then this happened:
Waka Flocka Fozzie by Raheem Nelson
Now that the obligatory “Slap my discoloured duckface onto something else’s body” and “Make fun of rappers” bits are out of the way, Let’s talk about Paws for the Cause.
Paws for the Cause is a Toronto-based organization that raises money for a different animal welfare organization every year.
On Thursday, the group hosts its annual fundraiser — The most adorable in Toronto by far, if you ask me. (And you should ask me.)
Proceeds from this year’s gala will be going to the Central Toronto Veterinary Referral Clinic’s Cares Foundation to help subsidize lifesaving surgery costs for animals in need. Funds raised will also go toward the Chloe Award, which has been presented to an outstanding University of Guelph veterinary student.
Last year’s gala raised $75,000 — that’s a whole lot of canine lives saved!
This year, the Paws Gala will feature an art exhibit with Instagram sensation Theron Humphrey of This Wild Idea and his famous dog, Maddie the Coonhound of Maddie on Things.
SHE CAN STAND ON ANYTHING!
I’m going to ask Theron if he can balance Maddie on my head. We’ll see how that goes.
Here are the deets:
When: Thursday, October 11, 2012
No, but WHEN?: 8pm till late
Where: 99 Sudbury
How: Tickets can be purchased here. Wear something cute. It’s a fashionable people party.
Woof,
Safe and Wet in Austin (FINALLY) + My Baby Owl Friend
Mar 10th
I think I’m at home here, folks…
Or maybe not.
Fab or freaky (both are fine), I’m stoked to be in Austin right now after a 26 hour drive plus about 12 hours lost to border issues and one doozy of a chest cold that left me incapacitated for pretty much all of our first day here.
"My name is Lauren and I have the plague."
Getting to Austin was a battle, but a blast at times too.
Tons of friendly truck stop workers, learning experiences (Kentucky‘s got MAD CAVES — who knew?), bonding moments and mini-adventures along the way:
Dec 31, 1969 | Source: Keek.com
Thank god for Kate‘s amazing playlist to keep Casie and I alert / entertained / impressed while driving. And by “God”, of course, I mean anything other than what those creepy billboards all over the side of highways down here advertising. *shudder*
You can read more about the #SX3B great American road trip on our Tumblog.
Keep your eyes peeled for a mashup of all the video footage I took along the way soon… as soon as I can find the time to stop spazzing out over shiny things and compute.
Now that I’ve (sort of) recovered from the plague, it’s go-go-gadget DO.
OH! Before I forget to blog about it, I found a baby owl during our stopover in Windsor the other night. He was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.
The owl was just sitting in the middle of a sidewalk on Ouellette when I walked up. The path was otherwise deserted and we were completely alone for a while, just staring at each other. It was really moving.
I’m not sure what it meant or if it meant anything at all, but I Googled it all the same (obviously).
My random owl encounter was so rare that I had to Google it… am I going to die soon? bit.ly/9qT1US
— Lauren O’Nizzle (@laurenonizzle) March 8, 2012
Huh.
Yours in weirdness,
Relax Mom, They're fake.
Video: Blogger girl steals 4 trillion puppies from the OSPCA! (+ Live and Unleashed)
Nov 20th
Meow, meowmies!
Meow mrow meerow meow mraow mraow meow. maow meow mew mrow-wow. Meowwwwoh. Mrow meow…. MEEAHHH?
Thanks to Groundskeeper Willy for the intro to this post.
My fluffy ginger boy’s been hinting lately that he’d like to start blogging. I suspect he’s heard the rumour that cats are pretty well-respected on the web.
Unfortunately, his English is… well, it’s quite poor (Sorry man – take a high five from Frikky).
My Meowanese isn’t perfect, but I can roughly translate what Will’s written above as follows:
“Hayo Homies! Girl-hoomin made a mewvie about her recent trip to the OSCPA. There were many styoopid puppies and sexy young kittenz and nice people being adopted by new pets. Give to me now your peach yogurts?”
C’est vrai! I was invited to tour the OSCPA’s Provincial Education and Animal Centre in Newmarket a few weeks ago, and couldn’t have been more thrilled to learn about everything they do for cats, dogs, rabbits, horses, snakes, porcupines, owls, turtles and all sorts of other animals living in Ontario.
I took just short of 4 trillion photos that day and nearly as many new pets. Except I’m lying in the latter half of that sentence because who the frick am I – Paris Hilton? As if!
Alas, I was there to report — not to expand my feline family. If ever we do decide to get another cat though, I’ll know to look for a purple one.
According to this, the MYM program has resulted in a 40%-45% increase in adoptions and a 45%-50% decrease in euthanasia of adult cats at beta-test facilities across North America. That’s MAJOR!
You should take the test online, just for giggles.
Which cat type did you get? Huh?
I got to meet some really cool animals while I was up in Newmarket. The staff gave me a sweet yellow gown and some boot covers so that I could go in and play with a litter of puppies (including a blind puppy that I really DID almost apply to adopt). Then, I was introduced to Rocky the celebrity wonderpup!
Rocky’s story is heartbreaking, but it’s got a happy ending thanks to the lifesaving work of so many great, dedicated animal care workers. Watch this video. It’ll probably make you cry, but in a good way.
You can help ensure the continued success of programs and rescues like these by donating to the OSPCA directly — Orrrrrr you could attend Live and Unleashed on November the 28th at Roy Thomson Hall.
Buy tickets here! Watch Groundskeeper Willy make out with my stuffed leopard here! Watch a sloth fly here! And for the love of almonds, have your pet spayed or neutered!!!
PS – Written Kitten is gold. GOLD. Cat photos are the ultimate motivators. I shall never dread a word count again.
PPS – Startup Weekend Toronto, mayne! It’s dope. Look for my wrap post tomorrow 
Milo and Otis and Yeezy and Hova: The Homeward Bound Effect
Aug 16th
This video just made me legitimately bawl my eyes out at work.
Watch it anyway though – it’ll probably make YOU laugh and go “awww!” because YOU didn’t rent The Adventures of Milo and Otis from the Chatham Public Library every Saturday between 1993 and 1995.
Or maybe you did, I don’t know. I don’t even know you.
The reason I teared up while watching this fine piece of post-postmodern perfection is not because I’m sad that Otis (one of the best track’s to come out of Jay-Z and Kanye West’s much-hyped recent collab) is not even ON the album it’s been promoting, or even because I was grossly disappointed in Watch The Throne as a whole (it’s actually grown on me a lot since that first underwhelnmed spin).
It was this, guys:
You look me in the blog and TELL ME that you don’t CRY YOUR FREAKING HEAD OFF every time you watch that movie and see little Milo stuck down a hole. If you’re not a black-hearted goblin, you cry even harder when Otis comes along with a little stick, and when that fails a little rope, to save the day. To save his friend.
Nothing, save for maybe Deja Entendu, can make me sob like an animal adventure flick – not even death itself (chiefly because most of the time, I can pretend it doesn’t exist).
I call this proclivity for crying my eyes out to stories about fictional talking house pets “The Homeward Bound effect”.
I couldn’t find a photo of Shadow stuck down that dirt hole, but I can assure you that it’s every bit as painful to watch as Milo’s strikingly similar predicament.
Even more sobworthy? That moment after Sassy and Chance come back to the family, when’s Peter waiting for Shadow and his parents are like “He was old, Peter… he must not have made the journey…”
And then BAM! Shadow comes limping up over that hill like “PETAH, MY BOY! I’M HEEYAH! I LOVE YOU, BOY!”
I didn’t make that graphic, but I DID find it on the Internet just now.
So there you have it: the most ultimate weakness I’m willing to publicly reveal is Milo, Otis, Sassy, Chance, Shadow and those little kitties who stare at me through the bars of their Humane Society cages on the TV while Sarah McLaughlin sings “In the arrrrms of the annngelll….”
That’s not even fair, Sarah McLaughlin. Way to make mascara run all over my face, shirt and single white glove. I can’t very well go to church NOW, can I?
In other news…
- Google bought Motorola today
- Two of my old friends from Windsor got married this weekend in a very cool way and they’re totally famous now (Surprise wedding! Congrats Shawn and Colleen!)
-This 8 bit hair bow is sweet
- This Russian Road Safety Campaign uses Smartphones in an effective way
- My sleeve smells like tuna because I spilled tuna juice on it
- Cats do yoga sometimes
- Lizzie McGuire is pregnant
- I want to move to Brooklyn, so hard
- I saw a rocket ship gumball machine on my way to improv class today
Now, here is a baby kangaroo in pajamas:
NOIT NOIT!
PS – Please sign this petition if you can to ensure that Toronto Animal Services doesn’t get lumped in with all of that “gravy”…
The Next TELUS Critter: VOTE FOR CAMEL!
May 10th
Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve an announcement to make – are you ready?
*clears throat*
I have decided to enter the electoral realm.
Cèst vrai! Yours truly is now serving as campaign manager for the candidate whom I feel is most qualified to serve as the star of TELUS’s next advertising campaign.
No, not Lulz Turtle. Unfortunately, only real animals qualify.
Allow me, dear readers, to introduce you to the one, the only, the sometimes Bactrian, sometimes Dromedary but ALWAYS straight-up awesome Mr. CAMEL:
Get down with your bad self, my even-toed friend!
Sassy!
Sweet!
Sophisticated.
If selected by voters, Camel will join the long list of adorable critters who’ve already been featured in TELUS’s save-worthy ads over the past 15 years.
You can see some of them in this video, or check out the inside of my locker from highschool. If the kid who’s using it now has any steezl, she left all ofthe piggies up.
The competition is stiff (Helloooo Pygmy goats) and the stakes are high – but I have every reason to believe that Camel will prevail. I mean, have you SEEN a baby camel?
As Camel‘s campaign manager, I intend to ride those humps (which contrary to popular belief are NOT filled with water) all the way to the winners circle… which may include A TELUS tablet PC, a TELUS smartphone and a $1,000 donation in my name to the Nature Conservancy of Canada.
You see, my motivation for hitting the campaign trail is not completely selfless. I’m one of 12 Canadian bloggers who will be campaigning on behalf of their selected animals and helping voters determine the next critter used in TELUS advertising campaigns.
I want you to vote for Camel, but not as much as I want you to VOTE period because for every single vote they receive, Telus will be donating 1$ to the NCC.
100,000 votes = $100,000 toward the protection of Canada’s biodiversity. YES.
Just for voting, you could also win a Blackberry Playbook or a freaking TRIP TO AFRICA! Chyeah or chyeahhhh?
I’ll be Tweeting and blogging about this more as the competition progresses (The top 3 critter contenders will be announced on May 20th) but right now it’s time for bed. Busiest week EVER. Next week at this time, I shall be in France. It’s been way too long…
Yay adventure!
Boar… Baboon raccoon PU-MA! (+ the coolest little girl in the world)
Feb 22nd
Dogs and cats and dogs and cats and dogs and cats and WATCH THIS NOW:
That video won TROPFEST 2011 (the world’s largest short film festival).
Well deserved for its creativity, imho. And also for its judicious use of monkeys. I could see how there might be a temptation to overdo it on the primates there, but Animal Beatbox struck a good balance.
Well done.
This little girl right here hasn’t won an award yet, but she has won my cold black heart. Some might say this is worth more than whatever magical trinkets lie waiting inside your next Kinder Surprise egg. Others would not.
Either way, our little neo post-feminist wunderkind will be appearing on Ellen by the end of next week – mark my mutha lovin’ pixels.
You. Go. Girl!
I just ate dinner and it’s 10:38 p.m. Still a lot of of work to do, so I should quit blogcrastinating and put my nose to the grindstone or whatever my mom used to say when it was time to do my homework.
Please allow the following cam pic from 2006 make up for this pitfully weak blog post:
I can’t believe that was 5 whole years ago.
The more things change…
Zoological finger bling and the Truffle Shuffle t-shirt
Jun 29th
Hola mi gatitos!
Not a huge blogpost today – though believe me, I have tons to say. Don’t I always? Yeah, that’s right – I’m a LIPPY LITTLE BETCH. There are about a bagundred items on my blackberry list of “things to blog about” and eleventyseven more on my “for_blog” desktop notepad file. If I could spend 8 hours a day blogging, I totally would… but I can’t. Unless someone wants to pay me to? If this is the case, HOLLAH. Please.
But alas, I’ve had a long day at work and I’m sickers to boot *a-CHOO!*
Before that big fucking Q takes hold and completely squelches my current state of consciousness (or “awakityness”, as I like to call it)…
would you rock it? (x3!)
#1: The Truffle Shuffle T-Shirt:
I’d say that this is more of a SWEET-Shirt than a TEE-Shirt (what’s with the “T” in T-Shirt, anyways? TO WIKIPEDIA! Ahhhh, yes – I see. The shape. /blondemoment).
I would most definitely rock this so that I can continue to do this with even more legitimacy:
Chunk, ftw!
PS – Would anyone else totally think that model is a chick if you didn’t see him lifting his shirt up?
#2: Stampd’ LA Steezy Hi Sneakers:
Would I rock these? No. Would I date a guy who was rocking these? In a glub-glubin’ heartbeat, if he’s half as cool as his fabulous kicks.
I might even go on a second date with him if he bought me some of these puppies from the same line:
Purrrfect
#3: Pete the Porcupine:
HOW is this the first time I’ve stumbled upon nOir Jewelry‘s blingy animal rings? As a fan of both sparkly things and chunky finger baubles, I am straight enamoured. Enamoured, I tell you! Good word, that one.
Gotta catch ‘em all:
Fading… fast…
Good NyQ.
Love,
Lauren O’NyQuil
