Hey ho, LEH-GO;
It’s been a week, guys. A solid one. Longer than seven days for sure, but what is TIME anyway? Really?
I’m going to drop this YouTube video of my recent standup comedy re-debut right off the top before I get into it because ME:
That was filmed about a month ago — the very day I moved to my new place, actually, hence the hair sitch. Shup. Here’s another video, this one made by Casie and her sweet phone. Even seeing my parents just now got me smiling. As bratty as I am towards them, I don’t love anyone else more.
The set I performed a couple of days ago during the gauntlet round of the 2013 Toronto Comedy Brawl was not recorded, but this is close enough:
Awwww, jaykay. It wasn’t my best set (out of the WHOLE THREE I’ve done) ever, but it got me through to the next round which is all I was really hoping for. I’ll write more about that when it happens. I also met some cool people — one of whom booked me for ANOTHER show Monday night!
COME! IT’S FREE!
Also free and sufficiently grand = This Prancercise demonstration video. I’m not going to write about how this came to be (because I already did that at length,) but I will encourage you to discover it for yourself. Read this story. Watch the video. Learn to prance. Buy different pants.
Even lulzier than the video are the Amazon reviews on her book. I love you Joanna Rohrback and I love you, like actually, as much as a god, lover, or family member, LOVE you, Internet.
Now riddle me this friends: How much do you know about Canada’s Senate? I mean, outside of the ongoing scandal headlines and vague memories from Grade 10 civic class?
As constantly immersed and in love with the world of news as I am, I’ve got to admit that I didn’t know much before hosting a Senate-themed episode of CBC Live Online Thursday evening. I’m still a bit foggy on the issue (it’s a foggy issue) but I learned a ton and it was a pleasure to speak with Senator Mobina Jaffer / all of our fantastic guests.
Replay the chat here if you’re so inclined and turn the volume down if you’ve got dogs in the room. My voice will make them jump out of windows.
Outfit of that day:
I also had the pleasure of speaking on a panel about innovation in news at work last week — a topic I’ve got plenty to say about beyond “GIFS RULE,” I swear.
— Andrew Yates (@yatesey) May 23, 2013
Lastly, OH MY GOSH THE ISLAND. Have you been to the freaking Toronto Islands? I took a ferry to Centre Island yesterday for Expedia’s TBEX party and I was just blown away. Big ups to my homie Alistair for the invite!
A few photos, if you will:
That last one is not from the island… I was just trying to take a selfie while kneeling on my own forehead afterwards like the weekend winner that I am.
IT’S GAME OF THRONES TIME NOW BYE BYE LOVE YOU.
**UPDATE: 12:35 a.m. — post Game of Thrones**
Crystal Light moustache all day.
Only HUGH can prevent florist friars. And also, Hi!
That there is the incomparable Fabiola Carletti and I in the “Editor’s Gif” of CBC News Community’s second-ever issue of Gen Why: weekly must-reads for Canadian youth (photos shot by CBC superphotographer Evan Mitsui, Gif’ed by me.) It dropped yesterday.
Regard, the inaugural issue:
That cover was illustrated by an OCAD student and CBC audience member named Sabina Lindemann and I’m in LOVE with it. Holy heck is she good.
The cover of this week’s issue was done by Joe Osei Bonsu, another reader who’s also right talented.
Both issues are rife with interesting comments and article selections from young CBC Staffers and Canadians under 30. You can read more about the project and it’s inspiration and, most importantly, how YOU can contribute here. Fabiola explains it better than I do.
If you’d like to learn more about why you should actually pay attention to the Google Glasses hype though, I can explain that… in a rambling, one-take kind of way last night.
It’s been really neat to collaborate with other bright young minds in this country, both within the organization I work for and outside of it.
We’ve been absolutely floored by the response so far — so much so that we dedicated Thursday’s episode of CBC Live Online to #GenWhy and the questions millennials are asking about what can be done to make this world a better place.
You can watch the full replay of that here:
Annnnd if you’re interested in seeing the wee video blog about wearable computing I meantioned above (and didn’t already click through,) Voila!
Bed time for this chica. Speaking of science… GUESS WHERE I’M GOING TOMORROW?!?
A yeah yeah
It’s been a busy month so far, and things aren’t slowing down with Toronto’s fashion week coming up… my rambling rants will be back soon I hope.
One funny (wait, two funnies) before I go, at least:
PS – I freaking love this hat. Relevant.
Friend: “Hey Lauren, where’s the party tonight?”
Me: “The Republicans or the Democrats?”‘
Me: “Which party?”
Friend: “I don’t know… anything going on downtown?”
Me: “Oh. Oh I don’t care. I’m working.”
Me: “Yeah… I’m interviewing TOM FREAKING ROSENSTIEL about memes and the presidential candidates tonight.”
Friend: “When did you start caring about American politics?”
Me: “Politics have changed man. I’ve changed… ”
Friend: “When are you going to be normal again?”
Me: “Saturday, probably. I need to sleep.”
It’s been a really good, really busy week for me on the work front.
Between a marathon Live Chat Tuesday night, weeks of presidential campaign stories and the “Meme Election” episode of Live Online last night (plus all of the writing, prep, and research in between) I am an exhausted zombie, but one who’s feeling pretty knowledgable in her own keenerly bookish geek-beat way.
Come at me with a current events question, bro, I’ll TALK YOUR FLIPPIN’ EAR OFF before I eat your brains, braiiiiins…
Here are a few of the best things I did over the past week, for posterity’s sake and in case any of you are into new media, journalim, or the intersection of memes and American politics from a (nerdy millennial) Canadian perspective.
And of course, LIVE ONLINE: The Meme Election, featuring Tom Rosenstiel, Brad Kim, Tim Hwang, Veronica De Souza and Michelle Forelle.
You can watch the full video replay here.
Here are some of the studies I touched upon or articles I gleaned knowledge / facts / statistics from to provide more in-depth social media commentary than “Binders, Big Bird, Bayonets, wee!” over the past couple of weeks.
- Clicktivism, The Buzzfeed Effect And Corporate Meme-Jacking, by Whitney Phillips and Kate Miltner. A must-read.
- Speaking in Memes, By Nathan Jurgenson (great read.)
- Computer Scientist Warns of Social Media Manipulation in U.S. Election: Twitter bombs, microtargeting, and astroturfed journalists.
- 2012: The First Digital Election, Forbes.
- How Generation Internet will clean up our politics
- Mark 2012 as history’s last ‘social media’ election
- Obama Winning Social Media, If #Hashtagwars Really Matter
- 5 social media questions 2012 will answer, Politico
- Where America’s Racist Tweets Come From
Bed time for this cat. For so many hours…
This post will probably crash your browser if you’ve got a computer that is weak and puny in the heart, so upgrade your RAM and tell that browseyatch to take her GIFs like a CHAMP.
It’s time to BINGE GIF! To do a GIF-STAND! To say “Blogtender, Line me up a row of GIFS!” and then look at them all until you PUKE!!!
Don’t look at animated gifs and drive.
So, this was me last night after writing fervently for… more hours than I care to tabulate:
Brain: Dude, you voluntarily stayed late at work to finish a post about how animated gifs are impacting the U.S. election coverage and then skipped dance, an H&M x Anna Dello Russo pre-shop, and two open-bar parties to go home and WATCH THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES?
Me: Yeah, but it’s not like I just watched it or something. I made fun of on the internet too.
— Lauren O’Nizzle (@laurenonizzle) October 4, 2012
Me: FOR THE LULZ, OKAY? Gahd.
Brain: Who are you?
Me: I dunno, Who are YOU?
Brain: I’m you.
Me: No, I’m me. I’m so much more me than you are.
Thanks, internet, for all of the hyper-engaging and irrevent real-time humour that accidentally turned me into someone who kind of knows what’s going on in American politics right now… ish.
Last weekend, I told a group of aspiring bloggers how important it is to be innovative and entertaining but still consistent with your tone and theme — To give readers something they can expect and that they’ll want to come back for.
It’s hard to do that when you write a blog about your life though, because people are constantly evolving. Especially in their 20s, jeesh.
I don’t know if I’ll ever find a focus for this blog. Hey, I’m not very focused. I do promise you this though, dear readers;
1. I won’t ever stop posting pictures of my own face on my blog because, like many women my age, my self worth is based upon my appearance and I really like attention (here’s a picture of Brock and I taken by Becca at Dudebox‘s party on Friday.)
2. I will never, ever stop loving things that are hilarious.
Jeff Wysaski’s “every infomercial ever” video hit the web last week inaboutsandaround the same time that this wicked stream of awkward infomercial GIFs on imgur got picked up by the blogs.
I don’t know if the video spawned the gifs, if the gifs spawned the video, or if one just brought searches for the other to light.
It’s like the age-old quandry “which came first; the chicken or the egg?” It’s a problem that I don’t really give a frick about solving because there’s no way of knowing, chickens are cute, eggs are delicious and that’s all that really matters.
Here are some of my favourite infomercial gifs of life. I hope you enjoy my narrative:
Good night, moons of my life, suns in my sky, Tom Hardy pictures of my desktop background…
Here I go, here I go, here I go again. Girls, what’s my weakness?
Welcome to the inside of my head, where infant me raps in an all-female hip hop group under the moniker “Ketchup” and has the body of a grown woman who wears cool African hats.
Hang on tight.
I have no idea how or why Toronto’s Festival of Beer managed to get the effing Queens of 90s Hip Hop into their entertainment lineup, but I’m going to assume it has everything to do with some random blog post I wrote about Shoop in June.
I swear to Jazzy Jeff that I had no idea Salt-N-Pepa would be coming to Toronto this summer — or even that they were still together — when I wrote that post.
It all went down like this:
I had Googled “Do do that voodoo that you do so well” after reading it in some Vice column or something and stumbled upon the Shoop video. One related video led to another and, before I knew it, I had DL’ed the entire Salt-N-Pepa discography. And I LIKED it.
Typical Millennial, fetishizing 90s culture. You know how it is.
I wasn’t really old enough to appreciate their music fully the first time around (I was two when Push-It was released), but that’s not to say that I don’t know all of their hits’ choruses off by heart.
You do too, because they’ve got mad longevity. They really are classics.
A few short days after making that Shoop post — after spending hours looking at 90s hip hop videos with Sean on the couch — I saw a streetcar go by with an ad for Salt-N-Pepa at beerfest on it.
It felt like fate and I decided to go. I almost missed the entire thing to stay late at work and finish a story, but my timing ended up being flawless and that felt like fate too.
Salt and Pepa’s hype men (called the ‘shakers’ - get it?) were taking the stage just as Casie and I walked through the gates.
We managed to worm our ways through the crowd to the very front of the stage — a practice my friends call ‘Nizzling’, as in:
“This club is at capacity. They’re turning everybody away. Let’s go.”
“Just Nizzle your way in like you always do…”
All is fair in love and access.
Anyhoo, Wikipedia tells me that Salt (Cheryl R. James) and Pepa (Sandra Denton) are 46 and 48 respectively.
That performance was NYUTZ for two women that age. Not only did they kill it vocally and with their moves, the entire performance was just slinky and spicy as heck – Like a big ole bowl of hot sauce soup. Hot sauce shoop!
I should win a bloggy award for that Segue. Are bloggies still like, a thing?
You know you’re doing “social media” right when your branded Facebook post soars to the top of Reddit. And also when you come up with a joke recipe that actually makes my mouth water.
I’ve got to go outside now. Happy Caturday
P.S. — I would like to publicly declare my love for Dr. Dre, in hopes that he comes to perform within 5 blocks of my place. With Eminem. And Snoop. Come on, come on… OVOfest would count. Just Sayin’
A hoy hoy, homies, and a very happy Sunday to you.
A very happy Sunday indeed. Long live animated gifs. Long live movies that revolve around hot, shirtless guys. Long live Channing Tatum’s… everything.
And speaking of things living long(er), guess who didn’t die this week?
— Lauren O’Nizzle (@laurenonizzle) July 13, 2012
Thassright. Despite everything my inner alarmist shouted as we oh-so-slowly crawled toward the top of the Leviathan‘s massive first drop, I didn’t fly out of my seat and explode against another coaster.
I actually had a lot of fun making terrified faces at the camera strapped to my chest – most of which were completely unintentional and pretty damn hilarious I’m told.
That was after 3 rides. Hot, sweaty and spooked, but straight stoked to be riding roller coasters for work (right?!?)
I found something called Party Cheese at Brodie’s place last week, which also got me excited. Not because I’d ever actually eat this mystical crap (no refrigeration needed!) — but because it’s freaking Party Cheese and bwahaha:
“We party,” said Brodie.
Here’s my parents with his precious babycat Mini; Likely the only grandchild they’ll ever have:
Mom and dad were in town to visit us both and it was just so nice to have real family time again. To eat together and hang out and talk and tell jokes.
I really miss being part of a family unit — the kind that lives together before the kids grow up-ish and move away for school and end up settling down in Toronto after graduation because that’s where all the good jobs are and yada yada yada.
I find that being in your 20s is difficult in that way. It almost feels like you’re in between families; too old to be part of the one you came from (at least not in the same way,) and too young to start one of your own. For all of the freedom we enjoy, it’s lonely too. Profoundly so.
Thank god for cats.
On a sunnier note, CHECK THE F**K OUT OF THIS ADORABLE DOG:
Her name is Lexus, and that wheelchair is custom — built by her owners out of a modified old human chair to help keep her moving after a tumor-removal surgery cost her the ability to walk.
Unfortunately, despite their best effort, it wasn’t quite cutting it for this lovable lab mix. She needs a proper doggy wheelchair.
AND GUESS WHAT? She’s totally getting one.
You can read the full story of what went down here. It’s probably one of the nicest things I’ve ever helped to accomplish over the course of my journalistic career.
This piece about a woman who accidentally sent a photo of Nicolas Cage looking all freaky-like along with a job application is not quite so moving… but way funny.
And really, that’s what matters most to me. Hilarity.
The only thing I like more than talking about TV on the internet is talking about the internet on TV.
Are you worried about losing your internet connection to DNSchanger malware?
These segments won’t help you at all, unless you’re able to go back in time, in which case I would like to think that they’d be extremely helpful.
Then again, if you can travel through time a piece of malware on your PC is probably the last thing you’re concerned with…
As you now know, computers with the “internet doomsday virus” (which is not even a virus, by the way) were scheduled to go down this morning.
So, with less than 24 hours to go until the FBI safety net came down, my Sunday morning was spent right myaw:
Gosh, I love doing that stuff so much. Teevee makes me bleed happiness. Even just watching it all go down from behind the camera. I love everything about the medium. Always have.
On a more superficial note, I was loving on the sidebraid they gave me for the second hit. I wish I could do that myself. Or that there was an app for that… or a robot…
If you’ve still got access to your Twitters and the Face book from your computer right now, it’s all gravy. Some people were not so lucky, but the malware was quite rare in Canada.
Hollah if you’re reading this from your smartphone and you need help. I’ll load hairbot up with a freshly updated antivirus and send him your way. Right after he finishes doing this:
Right? I wonder if I could do that with chalk. Casie could. She’s the hair-chalk mastah… until hairbot becomes self aware. AH!!!
I also wore a bathing suit top, much to the chagrin of my mom.
“I’m glad you had a good time at the Pride Parade, but WHAT were you WEARING dear child? Is that underwear”
Imagine if I’d been on the float in front of us! Thatshcray.
That wouldn’t have happened though because… well, for so many reasons.
It was ridiculously fun, save for the parts where I got water-gunned in the face by parade watchers, bwahaha.
I don’t think I’ve danced in front of so many people before in my life! The crowds had us all flying high.
The water he’s spraying is infused with vanilla and the people loved it. It made the parade smell like cookies!
That’s ShaSha (THE ShaSha), by they way. He’s hilarious and kind and very, very cool. He gave us so many yummy things.
All cool as heck and a blast to hang out with — even if their dope dancing made me look derpish.
So, why did Canada’s leading organic artisan bakery have a massive float in the pride parade? I don’t know. I didn’t ask.
Why did Canada’s leading organic artisan tofu microwaver dance on a float in the pride parade? That, that I do know. And it all comes down to this:
a) Parades are awesome.
b) Pride is awesome.
c) Toronto’s Pride Parade is one of the largest (AND BEST) of its kind anywhere in the world.
d) I haven’t been in a parade since highschool – and even then, I was merely crammed into the back of a wagon with every other niner on the RedFeather spirit committee who had spent hours blowing up a bunch of yellow & blue balloons the night before that all ended up popping in the heat anyway. *sharp inhale*
e) PARADES ARE AWESOME
I’ve always really liked Toronto’s Pride celebrations — especially the parade. This is my 4th year attending.
It’s all so colourful and happy and wild. Like a massive outdoor daytime rave with a myriad of political undertones.
Pride always reminds me of how lucky I am to live in a country that grants equal rights to all adults, no matter who they love.
MOST importantly, Pride reminds us that it wasn’t always this way. Many have fought long, hard battles to secure the rights of people my age, LGBT Straight or otherwise inclined.
Furthermore, people still struggle both in our own country and abroad due to the unwarranted hate of others.
When gay seems so normal that you don’t even think about it anymore, these issues become easy to forget. But they’re important to remember. You know?
So, when Raymi asked if I wanted to be in this year’s parade with her I said yes. Yes, of course. Because Pride is awesome. Pride is important. And also, YOLO.
An American couple actually got MARRIED on a float during the parade this year and the University of Toronto cranked out a freaking NYAN CAT FLOAT! How could anybody not love this shizz, seriously?
Bed time for this little lady. Huge things popping. Huge, huge, huughzzzz… zzzz…
If the MuchMusic Video Awards have taught me anything in the recent years, it’s that Canadian celebrities are fond of quirky rides. Few other award shows actually let people DRIVE onto the red carpet as far as I know — and I really don’t, so please correct me if Meryl Streep rolled up to the Oscars on an IT machine one time or something.
Every year for one weekend in June, the city of Toronto goes pop-wacky for the MuchMusic Video Awards. Being a Torontonian – even one over the age of 17 — I tend to go a little bit wacky for it too.