HAPPY SPRING FROM THE GARDEN ON MY LEGS, BITCHES!
Bwahahaha. I don’t normally use such strong language on my blog, but that made me laugh out loud so imma keep it, The B-word is kind of neutral these days anyway, isn’t it? Flowers are not neutral (NOR IS LEOPARD PRINT AND IT NEVER WILL BE MOM.)
But Fiverr, guys. Oh my god, Fiverr.
For all of the years I’ve been using that website to pull really weird $5 pranks on my loved ones (for the price of a latte, it’s SO worth it) HOW HAVE I NEVER DISCOVERED THE RANDOM BUTTON?
Happy mother’s day?
All this time I’ve been creeping Fiverr categories like “extremely bizarre” and “puppets” when I could have been clicking “surprise me!” and finding things like Rasta Soap, foot fetish people stringy things, pudding videos and this dog who will give me freaking a tour of Ho Chi Minh city!
If you couldn’t tell, I said that in a really bad Jamaican accent. But of course you could.
Now, onto the very reason for this post: an illustration of Sansa Stark from the Game of Thrones that you can download a JPEG of for right now for only fiiiiive dollars (hollah!)
When the suprise button brought that up for me, I laughed at the randomness of Sansa as a character choice.
If someone were to select any character from the greatest series in the history of television (right now), why would it be SANSA? Crybaby Sansa doesn’t even have a dragon or a direwolf (anymore) or is Margaery!
And then I saw the related gigs.
Oh yes, there are more, and they’re just… delightful Truly. I was squealing with delight when I saw them.
Presented without comment (though I reckon you can surmise what I think of these drawings by the title of this post) Drafty Bob’s Game of Thrones fan art!
3. Tyrion Lannister:
A ladymonkey Khaleesi / Danaerys Targaryen:
5. Khal Drogo (RIP):
6. Robb Stark:
7. Cersei Lannister (betch):
8. Lord Littlefinger (jerk):
9. Jaime Lannister, King Slayer (2/10, would not bang.):
10. Derpya Stark:
11. Jorah Mormont
12. Jon Snow:
I left Jon Snow for last because a) It’s just… so good… and b) I have a Jon Snow-related story.
I SAW JON SNOW ON KING ST. THE OTHER NIGHT.
That’s pretty much the entire story, save for how I stopped in the middle of an intersection because I couldn’t believe it and then asked everybody at the streetcar stop if it was actually him.
Nobody knew what I was talking about.
“DON’T YOU WATCH GAME OF THRONES?” I shouted, before promptly Tweeting out “Is Kit Harrington in Toronto right now?”
Turns out, he very much is.
You know nothing, Jon Snow.
I’d be remiss not to mention that he bent down to give money to a homeless lady outside of the Tim Horton’s right after we passed, like a true Lord. A Stark/Targaryen Lord, perhaps? JUST SAYING.
I’ll leave you with this, ACTUAL video I made for mother’s day, because it’s cute. I also sent flowers to her because my mom rules and has been so very patient and helpful throughout the course of this move — as in she pretty much organized my entire place for me. It looks awesome.
Hey hi haaaARRGGGGHHH…
Toronto’s Fashion week(s) for Fall / Winter 2013 (World MasterCard Fashion Week + The spattering of off-site “rogue” shows around it) just happened or something — though you’d never know it for the BLISTERING COLD WEATHER OUTSIDE and the terribly whiney way I just started this post.
Sorry. Springtime shivers and sleeplessness do not become me.
Apparently though, my Bart sweater does! Enough so that FLARE Magazine snapped me for a street style gallery as I ran around David Pecault Square on Monday. Score!
We ended up producing some fun street style stuff of our own.
I went pretty light on the WMCFW stuff this season all around, by necessity — not choice.
I loved skipping across the street to catch shows on my breaks and in the evenings last year, but this time around my schedule was a little bit more intense at work — which is a good thing.
And even outside of work, with apartment hunting, fitness stuff, Canadian Music Week and everything else going on in my life right now, shhhsbeencray.
Fashion had take a back seat, but FASHUN did not because it never doeeeesssss!
I wasn’t able to stay for long, but I actually made it to the tents every day but Friday — and I hit the shOws (which are comparable to, if not better than the main dealie) the week prior for one day too.
Jean-Piere Braganza was blowing my mind on that gothic samurai tip.
I was digging the sparkly socks at Comrags too.
Here are some more photos of what I wore, what I saw, and what I liked from WMCFW FW 2013. Fingers crossed I can go harder next time around when things have simmered. I really do like fashion season. Also: Neeson Season (an oldie but a goodie.)
Back to the grind of apartment hunting for me… a frustrating yet lulzy game. I can’t wait to get settled and start vlogging again. Wait for it, homies. Summer is coming
Ladies and skirt-clad gentlemen;
Just say no to strutting around outside Fashion Week venues wearing ridiculous crap so that people (know you want them to) take pictures of you. Or say yes, I don’t care.
It would probably be a good idea for you to watch this new mini-doc by Garage Magazine exploring “the rise of ‘peacocking’ street style stars as a result of the proliferation of blogs” before you decide to go full-out these guys though (I don’t even know them and I hate them.)
As some fashiony person says in this most blogworthy of videos by Garage Magazine, “I feel that anyone who dresses with the intention to get photographed will NOT get photographed by the right people”
That video was even jucier than I expected it to be (but not quite so juicy as the kerfuffle-causing “The Circus of Fashion” article penned by Suzy Menkes a few weeks ago.)
“HA!… ha HA!.. SO TRUE!… HA!” I found myself saying throughout the course of this 9-minute-long video; though I’m sure a large part of that is due to jealously. The only people who take pictures of me on the street during fashion week are pantsless men in white minivans who think I’m actually a Japanese schoolgirl.
For real though homies, posing on rocks all nonchalantly in an waiting for people to take pictures of you just seems so LAME AND OBNOXIOUS. As obnoxious as seeing people doing that in a video on the internet and then going home to blog about it. UGH.
Like, look at Anna Dello Russo at minute 4:05. LOOK AT HOW STUPID THAT IS!
If the incredibly rich and powerful editor-at-large of Vogue Japan can barely get away with it, you’d better bet your bottom loonie that neither can some aspiring RP T-Lister from Thornhill.
I’m not trying to diss street style OR narcissism — I’m clearly all about both of those things. I simply hate humourless douchebaggery, and despite the fact that I’m neither old, new or future guard, I can relate to alot of what these OG fashion insiders are saying.
The way they speak so longingly about the good old days before everybody and their iPhone could play fashion editor… the disdain they show for the blogger-n00bs who’ve invaded THEIR space, crowding it, changing it, soiling it with cheap uninitiated, unearned nonesense… that’s exactly how a lot of us OG internet people feel about the web lately.
Our world has been infiltrated. It’s no longer a precious space. Things have changed. C’est La Vie?
Anyhoo, I’ve got to go to bed because Toronto’s (pre / rogue / off-site) fashion shOws kick off tomorrow and I need to wake up early to prepare a dope outfit. I’m thinking of copying the outfit at the top of this post to a T, pretty much, so nobody else wear it okay?
P.S. Earl Sweatshirt, WHOA:
“You like cats?” asked the slow-speaking Urban Outfitters cashier as he price-checked a holographic iPhone case for me.
“Yeah… but I’ve always been into cats,” I replied. “Like, I liked cats before they were cool. Before they became this big thing on the internet…”
“Yeah man, like the Weeknd…”
The sole reason that I’m wearing my too-short bangs under a hat or twisted to the side until they grow out is so that I don’t look like a stupid hipster. I don’t look like a hipster, I don’t dress like a hipster, and I don’t act like a hipster (F*CK BRUNCH. Yeah, I said it.). But dag nabbit if I don’t say things that make me sound like one sometimes.
“I liked cats before they were cool.”
WHO EVEN SAYS THAT? Cleopatra’s grandma?!?
Okay so hi… *blush*
Remember that one time in Grade 4 when a seagull pooped on your head during outdoor gym class and you started bawling and ran into the school humiliated, not because you’d been pooped on (that part was actually pretty funny) but because you’d started wailing like a little baby in front of all your classmates, and so the secretary called your daddy to come and pick you up from school so that you could take a shower and then all of the sudden it’s the next day and you arrived at school in the morning and felt everybody staring at you like ” she stooopittt….”
That’s never happened to me.
I was the girl who peed her pants on the trampoline in gymnastics when she was 8 (true story,) but the seagull thing felt more relevant here — plus it totally happened to a boy in my class so it’s not entirely a fabrication.
What I’m trying to say is “Thank you” and “I’m okay.”
I received a flood of emails and messages in response to my last post, all of them touching and much appreciated. Some of them even made me misty-eyed. The one with the underwear guy made me dry heave (AGAIN) but this is the internt and that’s what you get when you put your email address on your blog alongside photos of yourself trying on skirts at Urban Outfitters.
a) I love that coat on the left but didn’t buy it because like, bills. b) I DID buy the skirt on the right because it’s leather and pleated and crazy cute. I tried on the tee for lulz, but am now reminded of something else I stumbled upon recently.
C.R.E.A.M. — Cats rule everything around me. What a creature! Thanks again to Google Images for that gemly gem.
Back to what I was saying though, about the nice comments and things you said… a lot of it was quite useful and helpful. If I haven’t replied to you yet, don’t worry – I saw it, I love it, and I’ll reply soon (unless you’re underwear guy, natch.)
I’m in the planning stages of a redesign now. I hope to get a new, cleaner, more modern layout up by the beginning of April. It might not be perfect, but it will be done. Some new editorial themes and features will likely roll out after that. I don’t want to stop blogging, but like I said before, some things need to change. I love you all for sympathizing and understanding.
My friend Holly passed along this excellent piece on procrastination, perfectionism, achievment and expectations that I think you’ll really like (or at least feel) if my last post resonated with you: Procrastination is not Laziness, by David Cain (who is a FANTASTIC blogger, btw. Canadian too)
All I do is shop shop shop, no mattah what… Oh my ew. I just sang something in the style of DJ Khaled. WHO AM I?
Shopping – not necessarily buying – is therapy for me. It makes me feel good. Pretty things, clothes, gadgets… those things make me happy. American Apparel and Future Shop, I could go for days. Most of those days would be spent laughing at of the funny outfits I can put together at American Apparel
Anyoo, check it oot! I’m “Lady geek of the week” at Being Geek Chic — a self-described “blog for stylish geeks, sophisticated nerds and people who enjoy the musings of a complete dork.” Wicked! My favourite kind of honour
Head on over to BGC for the rest of that interview to see who I cited as my ultimate fictional style inspiration (hint: IT’S TOTALLY SAILOR MOON AND BLAIR WALDORF MIXED TOGETHER LIKE A SWIRL CONE.)
Bed time for this gal. Balance, ya?
P.S. – PLOT THINE PUSS ON THE CAT MAP, MEOW! For the tigers. For the tigers.
Do you have a dream, my friend? Something that you long to acccomplish? A goal you’re trying to reach? DO YOU EVER YEARN?
I Yearn. Yes, I yearn. Often, I sit and yearn. Sometimes, I yearn to be a kitty. Thanks to this Christmas gift from my Mom and Dad , I’m now one step closer to that dream
My mom ordered the fur ears cossack hat for me after seeing it on my Christmas Wishlist last month, but being that I didn’t create said wishlist until one week before Santa came and ASOS is based in England, I didn’t actually recieve it in the mail until now.
EXTRA CHRISTMAS JOY!!!
Good luck prying kitty-ear toque off my head EVER AGAIN
What’s YOUR ultimate life goal? Tell Balki and play this INCREDIBLY AWESOME 70-second long flash-based Perfect Strangers-themed game. Seriously. You won’t regret it.
In other news:
Oscar Nominations were announced today, so the show I host at work (CBC Live Online) focused on that and, simply put, I can’t hold off on seeing Django any longer. If I don’t see it by Saturday, I will surely perish. Chores can wait. My Tarantino-loving brain cannot.
I’m not much for the awards themselves, but I do love award show fashion and Twitter jokes.
The People’s Choice Awards went down last night, and the red carpet stylists for attendees put forth a solid show. Some of them, at least.
My choices for best dressed include Chloe Moretz in a neon floral Simone Rocha mini-dress, Taylor Swift in Ralph Lauren and Paris Hilton in Mary Katrantzou (Hilton wound up on a lot of worst-dressed lists, but only because she’s Paris Hilton. That dress is sick if you don’t look at with those shoes.)
Also: KALEY CUCUO WINS AT EVERYTHING. I love her so much. She looked adorable and beautiful, even in the prommy crap.
Bed time for this kid. Long day. Brain. Tired. Do you think DDoS attacks be considered a legal form of protest and protected by the law, like an occupy demonstration? I wrote about it today and I can’t stop pensing on it… Anonymous makes an interesting (if not entirely hypocritical) argument.
Y’all act like you never seen a 3D printer before, jaws all on the floor like this necklace just burst in the door:
And Dr. Dre said… NOTHING you prettykids, this isn’t an Eminem song it is my blog, HELLO!
I felt like easing you into this post with something that’s pretty much retro before dropping a shot of wow-wow on your brain.
That sounds better than “I’ve had The Real Slim Shady inexplicable stuck in my head all day and when I sat down to blog that’s what came out,” right?
Check it: The most recent additions to my collection of geeky-chic wearables, both by Canada’s own Hot Pop Factory, both made with a Makerbot Replicator (which, as you may know, I’ve been in love with since grad school.)
Each and every piece produced in the line is 100 per cent unique, just like a fingerprint, thanks to the nature of the manufacturing process.
Toronto-based architects Matt Compeau and Bi-Ying Miao are the masterminds behind the line, constructing everything from their living room.
According to Treehugger, they’ve been “exploring the potential of 3D printing to seriously disrupt the way people consume manufactured goods.”
Very maker culture. I love that.
Wait until you see the cute little geometric gift boxes they come in:
The peaque necklace is my favourite because it reminds me of a Space Invader, sort of.
I’ve been rubbing it between my fingers all day. Such a fun texture. I love the fact that each side has a distinct look and I LOVE LOVE that double chain. I have a feeling I’ll be wearing this one a lot.
I tried the earrings on Thursday evening when I got in. Also very cool. I’m wearing them tomorrow.
Interested in owning a pair of your own? Hot Pop Factory’s offering FREE SHIPPING WORLDWIDE over the holidays so go go go.
They’ve got an Etsy store too, where you can buy these limited edition SPEARHEADS on Japanese-made rope. I want five, obviously.
I went to the ROM with Sean yesterday and saw dinosaur bones. Also this bear. More on THAT later. Maybe.
At the risk of sounding like one of those people who get mocked by snarky fauxshion writers for hyperbolically raving over the things I see on runways in my own city (who am I kidding – I AM one of those people), Greta Constantine’s Spring / Summer 2013 collection is like woah; really, really good. The most exciting collection I’ve seen from Toronto’s own Jersey Boys ever, in fact — perhaps due to their focus on something other than those very jersey gowns they’ve become known for… Something distinctly more structured. Youthful. Modern. Fresh.
Never ones to follow the crowd (or crowds, in this case,) Kirk Pickersgill and Stephen Wong showed their most recent collection Thursday evening in the Distillery District — a full a month after Toronto Fashion Month Week had officially wrapped, and mere weeks before it was set to hit stores.
Something about that was so “Ha HA!” to me, knowing that they’d already managed to secure buyers from all over the world during Paris Fashion Week.
They didn’t even need to have this show, but they did. For fans, for friends, and, presumably to whet the appetites of their most loyal hometown fashion plates as the holiday season approaches.
“It’s really more of a trunk show at this point,” remarked a stylist sitting next to me. If only we could have purchased right then and there. I actually would have.
My face in the background of this photo, captured by Barbora Simkova, probably says more about how much I loved that particular dress than words ever could.
That sexy-sweet, Lolita-chic, flouncy but structured, enigma of a showstopper screams Lauren – more so than anything I could ever have conjured up myself. After Instagramming the heck out of, a few of my friends said the same thing. “That dress is so YOU” — which speaks to how different this collection is than anything I’ve seen from Greta before.
I’ve always found Greta Constantine’s dresses beautiful, but not in a way that I would or could actually wear them. The super slinky jersey numbers felt too mature for me. Too black tie. More Angelina Jolie than Alexa Chung, ya know?
Much of this collection speaks to an edgier, more youthful Greta girl. Still very sophisticated, but cooler — so modern it almost feels futuristic. I’d wear so many of these dresses; black, white and navy (but mostly the white) in all of their monochromatic glory. “A refuge from print and colour,” as the show notes say. I love that. It’s exactly what I need.
Coincidentally, I decided to go low-end Canuckified Japanese school girl that night. It’s kind of been my thing lately… the later in the day, the wider my eyeliner gets.
As per usual, the boys hosted a great party after the show. Wicked venue, too. I stuck around long enough to take a few silly fots with frands:
— Lauren O’Neil (@laurenonizzle) November 30, 2012
— Lauren O’Neil (@laurenonizzle) November 30, 2012
WHAT THAT NECKLACE, MARGIELA?
Why yes, yes it is. And to homeboy flossing his pink candy-wrapper clutch like it aint NBD even though he KNOWS it is, we’re on to you.
Frig, I want that bag. And one of those white dresses. But not for the same outfit. Or maybe… Maybe in Tokyo…
For more on Greta Constantine SS 2013, I recommend Barbora’s review. It’s very very good.
Winter changes people, mangs.
They get pale. Sullen. Reclusive. COLD.
Some people gain weight in the wintertime. Me? I gain shoes. (And also soup stains on my white shirts because winter is a time of increased soup consumption and I’m really bad at eating.)
This is what happens:
Going for long walks around the West-downtown on the weekends is one of my favourite things in life to do.
I’ll go traipsing through Liberty Village and Queen West, West Queen West, Parkdale, over to Ossington, Dundas West, sometimes even Kensington Market and Little Italy. I don’t go looking for an adventure, but I often find one. At the very least, I see tons of great art and meet a few interesting people / animals.
Cold weather can’t stop my walking, but it does alter my path a little bit.
Instead of walking through alleys or parks, I walk alongside my favourite shops; the good boutiques along Queen West, from Bellwoods to Bathurst and Beyond.
I pop into one every couple of minutes to defrost and look at pretty things, but looking always leads to touching leads to holding leads to trying on and then I’m DONE. HOW ON EARTH DID I LIVE WITHOUT THIS DRESS THAT’S GOING TO SIT IN THE BACK OF MY CLOSET FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS UNTIL I WEAR IT ONE TIME AND THEN FORGET IT EXISTS?
I won’t forget that one though. You know why? Because I DIDN’T BUY IT.
It’s the ones that get away that haunt me the most. I might go back to Fitzroy on Saturday to pick it up for a holiday party if it’s still there. I tried on this dress by Bardot while I was there too, but I don’t need another LBD knowhatimsayin?
I was still thinking about how maybe I should have bought that dress when I walked into Jacflash. Perhaps that’s why I decided to buy my new Coltranes the second I set eyes on them (in the flesh.)
I’ve been seeing these sick Balenciaga knockoff cutout boots all over Tumblr and Instagram over the past year. I even looked into purchasing a pair one time, but alas, every major Jeffrey Campbell retailer online has bee sold the frick out for months.
ENTER JAC! Not only did she have a pair of metal cap-toed Litas ON SALE, but COLTRANES! In my size!
I didn’t even realize I was doing the NastyGal pose abover until just now. I spend too much time (browser) window shopping, maybe.
I was tempted to buy both of these Unif dresses too (CAUSE THEY LOOK SO FLOSSY WITH DEM COLTRANES) but I decided to hold off, as there are in fact bills to pay in life. Plus, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the top part of the first one looks like it was fashioned from something that puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
HAHAHA, NOPE. And more importantly, No.
No more frivolous purchases for me. I’m saving up for a trip to cat island, which is a place that exist. Cat island is a place that exists. In Japan. Cat Island is a place that exists in Japan… Heaven… Japan… Cat Island…
PS: This song.
C’est l’Halloween! C’est l’Halloween, HEY!
C’est l’Halloween! C’est l’Halloween.
It’s October 31st, and if you don’t have a Halloween costume yet, well sheet… you might just want to grab a sharpie and go the same route as I did at work today (see above – and below for where I got my inspiration.)
Then again, if you’re speedy (or are reading this in advance of Halloween 2013 – THE FUTURE) you might be able to crank out one of the following gems, guaranteed to get you mad love and respect from all the right people (read: me. Only me.)
Whatever you go as, don’t do Honey Boo Boo. That shiss played.
1. Lisa Simpson as Floreda (Floreda)
I’ve been wanting to do this one for years but always end up leaving it to the last minute just like homer did.
Unfortunately it’s not something you can simply slap together… unless you have a stiff old matress lying around the house just like homer did. You could also use whatever it is these people have all over them (what is that though?) but for the love of Jeebus, paint it grey!
Cheers to you, people I found through Google Images, for proving that this also makes a most cromulent couples costume!
2. Jay and Silent Bob
Okay, not Jay AND Silent Bob, but Jay OR Silent Bob – unless you want to get creative and do one of those half / half contumes, which would actually pretty cool…
I found that brilliant photo on the blog of some chick who’s Tumblr is called “durpinouteveryday.” You would get mad respect from anyone who knows what’s up wearing this guise, especially as a girl, especially as a duo.
3. April O’Neil
Oh she, of the yellow pant-suit, Ninja Turtle befriending fame.
This costume would be a no-brainer if I could ever find a GAHT DANG YELLOW BODYSUIT!
Carol Zara told me she had hers custom made a few years back and spent more time waiting for it than I would care to plan ahead for. Any leads on where one can get suits like this in Toronto (or shipped in 12 hours) would be much appreciated (but only within 3 days of Halloween, otherwise I’ll be like “so?”)
4. Sailor Moon
Another costume I’ve been hoping to pull off my entire life, idealy with four friends who can play the original sailor scouts by my side.
If ever I can keep four girlfriends around long enough to make this happen, It’s on. I’ll likely get married the next day to whoever I happen to be dating at the time baring any deaths or hissy fits because HEY! BRIDESMAIDS!
5. A FREAKING SHOE
6. Khaleesi / Daenerys Targaryen
Princess Daenerys Stormborn of the house Targaryen! MOTHER OF DRAGONS! I defy you to find me a stronger, more badass female character in the modern telesphere, I DO!
Bonus points if you go as horse heart-eating Khaleesi, covered in blood, or just-emerged-from-the-fire Khaleesi with dragons covering your bits.
7. A Tamagotchi
Awww, isn’t that a sweet, nostalgic costume? That’s how a cool chick dresses like a toy. This is how a not-so-cool dude does the same thing.
A few bonus ideas that I didn’t have time to fully flesh out:
- Patty Mayonaise
- Wendy Peffercorn and Squints
- The cast of Saved By The Bell
- The Rich Kids of Instagram
- A bottle of Ketchup
- The Botched Fresco (but only done well)
HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM ME AND KRISPY KREME!