Bart Simpson Sweater, Barbie-Leg Pumps and a big Humpday Linksplosion

If I wanted to make this a two-word-long blog post, I could probably do that.

Here’s how it would read:

“THIS SWEATER.

-Lauren”

So, three words, I guess, including my name… plus a qualifier to tell you all that I was making a three-word-long post just to make a three-word-long blog post, bringing the entire thing to maybe 18 words.

Plus a photo caption.

So, I guess I could make this a two-world-long blog post, then I’d have to go up and delete everything except for “THIS SWEATER” and who the heck am I, Concision McGee? Quite the contrary, quite the contrary indeed.

Plus, I’ve got more to talk about right now than my sweet new sweater. It’s pretty sweet though, eh?

I picked this gem up just West of the Annex last week for about 1/5th of how much the one it’s a knock-off of would cost (Jeremy Scott F/W 2012, you know the one.)

Some girl I spoke to when I was wearing that sweater Saturday night was all ”Why do you even tell people it’s fake? You should just say its real” to which I was like “Yeah, I could do that… If I were a total tool.”

A) Nobody in all of Liberty Village even knows who Jeremy Scott is because they all shop at places like J. Crew or something and B) If anything, I’m proud of my sick thrifty finds. Anyone who would spend the cost on an iPad on ONE sweater — a printed sweater that can at best be worn thrice a year (once in photos) is way worse with money than I am.

Anyhoo, I got tons of compliments at our local watering hole, where girls seldom dress in homage to 10-year-old boys and 10-year-old boys aren’t welcome anywhere within the vicinity.
Yupster minds of Libville be BLOWN by dat ish.

My style may have been better appreciated if we had walked over to WQW and up Oz to DundasW like I had wanted to (IT WAS WARM, GUYS) but then again, I would have gotten less compliments because myaw, everyone is cool up there.

So, Bart Simpson Sweater: would you rock it?

Would that I were cool as Cara Delevigne...

How about these “Glitter Doll Heel Pumps” by Dumas then, hmmmm?

I would rock these for novelty’s sake, but only if they were free. 800$ to put butts under my heels? Cute concept, but no.

Lastly, Would you rock this lovely personal stomach pump?

Ewwwwwwwwww.

That was a total joke. I wouldn’t rock that if my life depended on it (and it would never.)

Judging by the comments on the story I just linked to and on other stories around the web, many others wouldn’t either.

It was actually pretty hard for me to write an article about AspireAssist without gagging, but I thought it was blogworthy concept. It feels so… Wall-E to me, you know? Scary almost, that these devices are being used medically in Europe right now.

Here are some other, slightly less creepy, a lot less unfunny points of interest.