Nutcracker O’Nizzle: That one time I performed with the National Ballet of Canada…

… “that one time,” of course, being last night, when I spazzed around onstage for approximately 2 and half minutes in the honorary walk-on role of a Cannon Doll in The Nutcracker.

CBC’s Lauren O’Neil @laurenonizzle live tweets behind the scenes before her debut as a Cannon Doll in The #Nutcracker twitter.com/nationalballet…

— national.ballet.ca (@nationalballet) December 21, 2012

I can add “ballerina” to my CV now, right? I mean, I was there for work so technically I was being paid to dance, which makes me a professional dancer — as in dancer, not dannnnncerrrr. Or, you know, person who does things and writes about them. Journalist, I think it’s called.

I wasn’t offered a lead spot in the company immediately after I got off of the stage (HMPH), but I did get to interview The Sugar Plum Fairy (superstar ballerina Sonia Rodriguez,) which was even better.

I don’t think the world is ready for my brand of ballet yet anyway.

You can see the full interview with Sonia (and some adorable ballet school students who called into the show) during our holiday episode of CBC Live Online right.

At one point, I confused Monaco with Morocco, because ILLUMINATI. (That’s my excuse and reason for everything now, by the way. Illuminati. I figure if I shout it enough, they’ll come and make me the next Nicki Minaj. I’M READY FOR YOu, GUYS! ILLUMINATI! Illuminati?)

And you can read all about my cannon doll experience in the big ol’ “Behind the Nutcracker” piece I produced earlier today. Tons of pics. Some with giant cats. GIANT CATS.

As fun and fulfilling as it looks to be a professional ballet dancer, I’m happy with the career path I chose because. I freaking love my job. Jeesh, how could I not? The only thing lacking is a barre at my desk…

WARM UP!