Paws Gala 2012: 99 Problems but a Bitch Ain’t One (ft. Theron Humphrey & Maddie)

Thursday, Thursday, THURSDAY!

Scratch that — let’s call it FURsday! *ba dum tisk* Waka Waka Waka!

When I was little I would say that line constantly, just like Fozzie Bear on the Muppet Babies after he would make a joke — except weird little Lauren would say it after everything.

“Mommy, Can I have some apple juice? WAKA WAKA!”

If I were a rapper, I’d name myself in Fozzie Bear’s honour and wear a $100,000 chain featuring his likeness around my neck erryday… IF SOMEONE HADN’T ALREADY DONE THAT!

Waka Flocka Flame: “Welcome to the Goodburger, can I take your orrrrder?”
Me: “Yeah, I’d like my steez back, please.”
Waka Flocka Flame: “It was mine first, and who says ‘steeze?’ anyway?”
Me: “I don’t know… people in California circa 2007?… Whatevs. We can share this Fozzie Bear thing if you give me that chain and two veggie burgers to go.”

And then this happened:

Waka Flocka Fozzie by Raheem Nelson

Now that the obligatory “Slap my discoloured duckface onto something else’s body” and “Make fun of rappers” bits are out of the way, Let’s talk about Paws for the Cause.

Paws for the Cause is a Toronto-based organization that raises money for a different animal welfare organization every year.

On Thursday, the group hosts its annual fundraiser — The most adorable in Toronto by far, if you ask me. (And you should ask me.)

Proceeds from this year’s gala will be going to the Central Toronto Veterinary Referral Clinic’s Cares Foundation to help subsidize lifesaving surgery costs for animals in need. Funds raised will also go toward the Chloe Award, which has been presented to an outstanding University of Guelph veterinary student.

Last year’s gala raised $75,000 — that’s a whole lot of canine lives saved!

This year, the Paws Gala will feature an art exhibit with Instagram sensation Theron Humphrey of This Wild Idea and his famous dog, Maddie the Coonhound of Maddie on Things.

SHE CAN STAND ON ANYTHING!

I’m going to ask Theron if he can balance Maddie on my head. We’ll see how that goes.

Here are the deets:

When: Thursday, October 11, 2012
No, but WHEN?: 8pm till late
Where: 99 Sudbury
How: Tickets can be purchased here. Wear something cute. It’s a fashionable people party.

See you there?

Woof,