Puppydog Vodka Bash: ABSOLUT Unleashed with MSTRKRFT at the Hoxton

HEYO DISCO HELMET.

I promise my skin isn’t really this yellow, it’s just the Instagram filter. DO NOT BE ALARMED. How cool would it be if I WERE yellow though – like a Simpsons Character? Bonestorm cool. That’s how cool.

It’s been a good minute (17,280 actually – DO THE MATH) since ABSOLUT’s Greyhound Unleashed party went down at The Hoxton in Toronto, but I was waiting on some photos (and like, 20 consecutive minutes) to write about it.

And wouldn’t you know that I can barely recall most of what went down that night by now?

Photographic evidence reveals that I did, at one point, ride a robotic vodka dog. At least, that’s what I think this was. I’m not sure why I look sad here because I love robots and parties and dogs, but maybe he something unkind like “WOOF WOOF LADY LOO!”… or maybe I should stop trying to make this paragraph work and just show you the photos:

(By Becca Lemire for She Does The City)

What I do remember from that long-ago night is dancing my but off, drinking my face off, and getting myself kicked off a stage that, for some reason, I figured I could just waltz my way onto like an urban ninja for a close-up of the headliner.

Jul 1, 2012 | What is is! #absolutUNLEASHED by laurenonizzle on Keek.com

Don’t worry — the rent-a-bouncer set me straight. He wasn’t very nice about it though. I tried to tell him that I was the club‘s owner, but he didn’t believe me for a second because a) I was lying b) I don’t look like I could afford to own a bar, and c) The bar’s ACTUAL owner was right behind me. Foiled, RAH!

I always rooted for Kenny.

Anyhoo, big ups to ABSOLUT for turning it out last Thursday night. Thanks for all of the drinks, for picking us up in a cool car, for the solid entertainment, for the effort you put into that party and, of course, for inviting a lot of great people for me to chill with.

I don’t care how cool it is to act like you’re cooler than the big branded superbashes. These parties always end up being awesome because a) They have money and b) They know what they’re doing.

I never did get the photos I was waiting for. That’s okay though. Here are photos I took before and after we hit Mansion’s Pop Kult party on Friday at the Gladstone.

Aw, Seany and Xavier. Photogenic cats, both.

Jillions more where that came from but once again, I am le tired, and LauLau’s got a picnic tomorrow. No, for real. I like parades AND picnics. #TheMoreYouKnow #OnlyDoucheBagsUseHashtagsOutsideOfTwitter #ImObviouslyATool

Much love, always.