Lauren’s Life Lessons: Cabbie wisdom, Cosby coats and Motionball 2012
Mannnns, what is up?
I learn just short of 10-grillion new things every day and the day of yester was no exception, nor was Friday.
For instance, did you know that image macros can be traced back to the early 1900s? Or that Konami is bringing back the Simpsons arcade game? Or that some blonde idiots say things like “day of yester”? Or, most importantly, that Willow Smith has shaved her head? (What chu gun’ whip NOW, kid?)
As always, the most important things I absorbed this week happened away from the computer after I was sprung from the ninetofive clink. LEGGO:
Lesson 1: My problems are not problems.
I raced home after work on Friday night in a terrible mood. I was feeling stressed and lost and a little bit sad that I didn’t have enough time or money to buy a new dress for the evening. After spiffing myself up the best I could in 35 mimutes, I hopped into a cab and got proverbially bitch-slapped by the universe.
“Hi there, can I go to _______ please?” I asked the driver.
“Certainly ma’am. This is a nice place. Are you going to a party?”
“Yeah, a fundraiser thing… you should totally come!” I joked.
He laughed softly and told me that he wasn’t in the mood to party.
“Why not?” I prodded like a dumb jerk.
“Well, my wife and I have separated. Last week. And I love her still, very much.”
“Oh… I’m so sorry…” I said. “Maybe you’ll get back together?”
This was a stupid thing to say in retrospect, because for the next ten minutes my new friend spilled his guts. He told me about how he’d moved to Canada alone and waited for his wife and children to arrive. Six long years he waited. Then, a few months ago, they came to Canada and all was good — until his wife told him that while he’d been away she contracted AIDS from another man.
“It’s not safe for me to be with her now,” he said. “I love her, but I have no choice. We cannot be together.”
And oh yeah, wahhhhh I’ve worn this dress before. Twice. *sosbs*
Lesson 2: Always take a picture of your coat check ticket.
This was a practical lesson, taught to me by one sharp young woman working coat check at the Carlu Friday night. I forget her name, but I know it ended in an “H”…
Anyhoo, I told said girl that I always lose my coat check tickets and she gave me a tip that will undoubtedly save me and every person who reads this post a lot of frustration in the future.
Big ups to you, coat check chick. Thanks for watching Creeps
Lesson 3, also practical: Don’t go into a money booth with a chiffon dress.
See previous post.
Dec 31, 1969 | Source: Keek.com
Lesson 4: I’d rather go to the ball with another princess than a handsome prince.
Don’t get me wrong — I love getting dressed up and going to a function with my boyfriend, but I always have about ten times more fun when I go to a superparty with one of my girls. Who better to check out all of the cute boys in suits with? Casie = party partner perfect. We had an effing blast flitting around and making new friends. The green dresses weren’t planned, but it worked out well.
Big ups to the Motionball team for everything you do. A lovely evening, a worthy cause.
Lesson 5: I’ve got to stop making that stupid duckface.
Lesson 6: Willie thinks he’s a hooman.
That thing he did the one time where he sat on a bar stool and leaned on the counter like a people? It’s become a routine — and I can’t get enough of it. Everybody was getting a kick out of him the other night when he plopped down to hang.
Lesson 7: You don’t need to buy something just because it’s cool…
You can take a photo and move on instead! I almost bought the coat above from Bungalo on Friday, but am quite glad now that I didn’t waste $40 on it. I think it’s kind of great, but know in my heart of hearts that it would just end up chilling in my closet. I do need a new coat and I dig the print but… I don’t know. It’s a little bit too Kensington (read: Value Village) for me. Would you rock it?
/ Life Lessons.
I’m going to go downstairs and help Sean clean up the mess from his Superbowl party now before I hit the sack. Great little shindig, but mannnn is football food ever messy!
More on that tomorrow