Fotoshop by Adobe and H. Lorenzo’s Cat Clutch

Have you ever wondered how the world’s most immaculately gorgeous women get prepped for a day of on-camera glamour? How Kate Moss keeps her skin so smooth and luminous despite the fact that she’s a notorious chain-smoker and god knows what else? How Halle Berry looks like Halle Berry even at the ripe old age of 62?

Maybe not. But I’m going to reveal Hollywood’s most coveted beauty secret right now ANYWAY, because ladies and gentlemen-who-actually-give-a-flying-fish-about-beauty-secrets; this shick is way too good to keep to myself. Regard – an infomercial for the product that will change your life and looks forever, by Jesse Rosten. This is Fotoshop, by Adobé:

Personally, I’ve been using the product for years and can testify first hand that it literally works wonders on my appearance:

Shashasha. Ah, Satire. So good.

Moving along…

I saw this funny little cat clutch by H. Lorenzo on Nylon’s blog this morning and, as you may have guessed, I fell paws over tail for it.

Is that not just the perfect combination of weird, cute and chic?

I thought purrhaps that maybe I would purchase one today. You know, because I’ve been so good with my scrilla lately — even going so far as to DEPRIVE MYSELF of those meow-tastic Jeffrey Campbells I found at Little Burgundy last month! RIGHT?

So I click on through to the website all smiling like “meow meow meow meow, kitty purse kitty purse…” — and then I see the price tag:

HA! For that price, I could buy 100 real cats and hire some goons to turn them into purses…

Uh, kidding. I did find hundreds of affordable (if not slightly hideous) cat clutches on Etsy though.

Some are just as cute as H. Lorenzo’s… if you prefer like, felt over fur :S

Notable mention: the crazy eco-friendly cat lady purse.

Last but not least, here is an alt Coachella Lineup poster:

Bwahahaha. I’m having a hard time locating exactly who created this beauty, but Brocky shared it on Facebook so I’ll give him the credit of bringing it my attention, and thus yours.

Back to the grind… aiming for BIG TINGS BIG TINGS in life right now. Lots of work to be done.

Go smile at somebody who looks unhappy now. It’ll make you both feel good.