Posts tagged fail
Timas, Diplo, Monokini: the awesome & hilarious digest for july 25th 2010
Jul 26th
Me: *grumble grumble* Can I add “lame” to the awesomehilarious post today? Just this once?
You: “No you can’t, because the whole darn thing is about maintaining a positive attitude in the face of adverrrsity or something stupid and idealistic like that. Remember?”
*sigh* Frick.
Let’s start with “hilarious” then…
- Getting slapped with a $220 towing fee + a $60 ticket after my car mysteriously disappeared from the street. Apparently, I was partially obstructing some crochety old loosah’s driveway with the nose of my car. This would have been a “c’est la vie! live and learn! at least I still have legs!” moment had I not already been towed 3 times this year and running late for work.It’s not cute, it’s not funny, it’s not blonde - this stuff is expensive and it’s holding me back from doing better things with my hard-earned cash.I normally try not to refrain from using off-colour language on my blog, but my word am I angry! BEIGE Toronto’s lame parking rules, EGGSHELL the surly tow truck driver and TAUPE this overpopulated city’s lack of spaces to park.Adding insult to injury, when I got to work and tried to park in the lot that usually charges me $10, I was asked for THIRTY because there were “lot of special event in city today” – so I drove down the road and paid 20$ instead. *grumble grumble*
From this point on it’s mostly awesome. Outside of parking woes (and some surrious sleep deprivation) life’s been pretty gravy lately:
- Friday’s TIME Festival at Sound Academy. Y’all know I love me some dubstep, right? My week was already jam-booked but I could NOT pass up a chance to see Diplo spin in my backyard so I scored some last minute tix and danced my face off until 5a.m. I made a video, too… one of my buddies grabbed the camera at some point and shot me shaking my thang (thanks MP!). Please don’t mind the falling down shorts or the sweaty blonde mop on my head.
- The Toronto Independent Music Awards were earlier that night, and that was fantastic as well. Got a chance to chat with so many sweet local bands / rappers / singers / rockstars. Still processing videos from the event for work (when I’m not at other work), but I dooo have this picture of yours truly interviewing m’boy Sean Ward – TIMA host / blogger / comic artist / vlogger extraordinaire:
- This article on the top 5 web pranks ever pulled by moot and the 4chan gang = also awesome.
- I ordered my new laptop last night
Did I go Mac or PC? All will be revealed in due time my friend, but I WILL tell you this – my new baby has been custom engineered with an i7 processor, 6 Gigs of RAM and a whole TERABYTE of storage on the HD. She looks dammmmn good too - hilarious: I’ve come close to buying this dress three times now, but after seeing no less than 5 girls rocking it around the city have decided that I just can’t do it.
As much as I adore it (and I do – so, so, so much) I just can’t stomach shelling out for something that everyone else has. I’m not one for uniforms. Jeez, you’d think Douglas Coupland could have designed more than ONE dress for his roots collection.
- awesome: The Cotton Candy T monokini by Zeugari. Actually, EVERYTHING by Zuegari. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll see me rocking one of these masterpieces at WakeStock…
Yummy. - Signing a lease for my shiny sweet apartment – FINALLY! I’ve been living in Toronto now for over 2 months – I figured it was time to put my name on a piece of paper and unpack my bags for good. The big move with all the furniture coming out of my storage locker in London goes down at the end of August. I hate moving (ie; watching my male relatives and friends move my stuff up and down stairs), but it’ll be so nice to have my entire wardrobe up here with me. And like, my bed and computer desk and stuff.
- Annnd finally, I can’t get this song out of my head which is awesome because I’m in love with it at the moment. So sassy!Hate Hate, Hate Hate Hate…
All eyes on me, I took the night…
So, about that AXE gig…
May 8th
presentinnnng *dun dun dun* the failey con-cloo-jee-yon to my campaign for AXE Canada’s ridiculously, ridiculously good summer gig!
If you haven’t already figured I out, I did not win the AXE Gig.
I got the official call on Friday morning when I was at a Starbucks in Boston, but I had already sort of figured things out earlier in the week.
Receiving an email that said something along the lines of “Expect a call between 10 and 12 on Friday” was not a promising sign… especially after learning that all of the other contestants I’d spoken to were also expecting a call on Friday – except for the one who was expecting a call on Thursday…
After I was given the obligatory “You’re totally awesome! but…” spiel, I went and sat down at a corner table and cried for about 30 seconds (I’m kind of a cry-baby, if you haven’t noticed).
Fortunately, I was wearing big sunglasses to hide my face from the cute Barista boy who was probably like “wtf?” anyways.
I just kind of sat there for a few minutes feeling embarrassed and foolish, worrying about how I was going to tell all of the people who had blowing up my phone with “SO? DID YOU GET IT? HUH? DID YOU GET ITTTT???” all day.
And then I called my mom.
“Everything happens for a reason, hunny,” she said. “I truly think you’re meant for something even better than this.”
Her sentiment was echoed by several of my friends. And you know what? I’m kindasorta starting to believe them.
Maybe it won’t come with a free condo and 10 g’s – but I’m confident that something awesome will come my way this summer.
No, scratch that. Nothing is going to just “come my way” this summer. I’m going to make this the best damn summer I’ve ever had, free condo or no free condo! 10 thousand bones or no 10 thousand bones! Jay-Z or no Jay-Z!!! (though I really would like if it involve Jay-Z)
It took me about ten minutes to compose myself and mosey on back to ROFLcon after the little Starbucks sobfest.
It wasn’t long though before I was all “AXE who?”. Chilling with the best of teh interwebz distracted me nicely for the rest of the weekend. By the time I got back to Canada, I was pretty much over it. You win some, you lose some. C’est la vie, right?
Sure, I’m a bit disappointed… I mean, I did put a LOT of work into that competition – from the application process to the challenges to the press circuits and constant promoting. It was seriously like working another part-time job or taking an extra credit course or something. But I had a blast doing all of those things, so it’s not like it was all for nought.
Plus, I got the chance to meet a whole whack of great people (big shout-outs to the other 9 AXE kids!) and produce some fun things for my portfolio too (like my “day in the life”photos and one badass rap video).
Maddest of congrats to both Jamie and Al Hal – AXE Canada’s first ever consumer consultants!
I can say with 100% sincerity say that they’re both awesome people. Talented, fun and genuinely nice.
I know that they’re going to rock these jobs out hard and I can’t wait to read about the adventure. Hey – maybe we’ll even run into each other partying around the T-dot this summer!
Ain’t no shame in being being beaten by the best Jamie and Al are going to have one slammin’ summer in the city, but I’m sure the rest of the contestants will be doing cool things too.
As for me, the job hunt is ON.
Unless the producers of Fear Factor or the Amazing Race come a knockin’, there will be no more competitions for this kid (I just about puked when no less than 5 people sent me this link. As if!)
It’s time for your “consummate contest girl” to focus on her career. Her real career.
My official graduation is June the 12th, and if I don’t have a decent job by then I will be banished to les banlieues…
If I’m going to be a ghetto rat, damned if I’m not going to be a French one!
All of that being said, I’d like to give the biggest most heartfelt of THANKYOUs to each and every person who’s supported me in this AXE gig endeavor over the past four months. Thank you for your fan-signs, your votes, your comments and messages of encouragement. You + Me = friends forever. I’m serious.
I’m tempted to list the names of those who have gone above and beyond to help me, but there are just way too many of you to count and I’m worried that I’ll leave someone out. Instead, let me just say that I really, really, really love Sean Walsh, Nate Black, Chris Mitchell and, of course, Mommy and Daddy. Homies for life (and of THAT, I am actually serious.)
I think I should mosey on over to craigslist now… Mama needs to find herself a ridiculously, ridiculously, ridiculously good gig.
Please, play me off Keyboard Cat!
