Posts tagged covet

Ohai, web-i-verse!

Please excuse me if I come accross as just a little bit intoxicated in this post. Truth is, I’m just a little bit intoxicated.

and a whole lot gangsta.

OOOaaowOOOaAOWoooaaow!

No, I haven’t taken up drinking again. Save for a grand total of THREE drinks (a vodka diet on hallowe’en, a glass of pinot grigio at the drake, and some chardonnay at my family x-mas) I’ve been booze free since my awesome Cancun vay-cay with clean-clean.

I am simply high on life, my friends.

LIeS. I’m benadrollin’.

I beez a little on the sick side, unforts. Da coughs. Da runny nose. Da SWIIIINE. (jk. It’s only a cold.)

My mom gave me two benadreezys last night and I swear, I could barely walk. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and I walked straight into a wall, hahaha. If I hadn’t been so deliriously out of it, I would have tweeted about it.

Those puny pink pills pack a powerful punch, I tell you what!

Suffice to say, tonight I’m sticking with but ONE tab of the good stuff. I’m not quite falling-on-my-tookus stoned, but I am feeling a bit woozy and probably won’t be able to stay awake for long so I’ll make this snappy(ish).

I stumbled upon this hilarious “cat massage” video over on the lion’s den the other day and I just had to share it. A major whisker watch alert is in effect here. Remember – a major whisker watch alert is in effect here:

“Remember that old Simon and Garfunkel song? ‘Slow down,you’re movin’ too fast…’ That says a lot about life, and about cat massage.”

Golden.

And speaking of all things kitteh – I got to spend a little bit of time with mine yesterday when I went home get my hurrz did. That was nice

And since I never got a chance to blog about how I took Steve-French to the mall to have his picture taken with Santa, I’ll do it right meow.

A few days before Christmas, I decided that I wanted to get a “pet-with-Santa” photo from PetSmart. Tickory had gotten her festive glamour shots last year, and it was Stevie’s time to shine.

Unfortunately, the window of opportunity had passed and all of the pet shop Santas were outskis for the season. So I went to the human mall. With Steve French.

We were kicked out after about 20 minutes, but thanks to a lovely cat-loving security guard we were able to come back the next day and do the doity deed discretely. Steve was remarkably calm and cool when I handed him over to Santa (who luuuurved his fluffy little heart to death). I guess that’s the ragdoll nature… so very chill. People were mobbing him left and right, petting him and cooing in his face and he just chilled in my arms like “i can has tuna juice?”

You may be thinking that I’m a bit of a crazy cat lady… and maybe you’re right. I like my cats like ‘normal’ people like their babies. Right now, I don’t care for human babies and I don’t really see what’s so great about them (other than the fact that they turn into people. I like people.). Cats, on the other hand, are cute and funny and oh-so-charming!

I do know where to draw the line, however. Some people don’t.

I was flipping through the latest issue of VegNews the other day and came across an advertisement for VEGANCATS.COM. Yah. When I start buying my cats vegan, organic, gluten-free or any likewise overpriced kitty kiblets, please give me a a big ol’ yuppie slap, mmkay?

Aside from the onslaught of annoying vegan propaganda dispersed throughout, I actually liked this month’s issue of VegNews. Great interview with Alicia Silverstone (or Cher Horowitz, as she will forever be known to the legions of little girls who modeled their very existences to be like her character in 1995’s MOST AWESOMEST MOVIE EVER Clueless), and some fantastic book reviews throughout. I’m now dying to read The Inner World of Farm Animals.

Did you know that ducks develop regional accents to their quacks? That pigs can play video games? That sheep can be soothed just by seeing a photograph of a familiar sheep? Animals fahking rule.

I just finished a book called “Lemon” by Cordelia Strube. A good read. Very compelling… if not slightly disturbing. I’m a sucker for those snarky way-too-intelligent-to-fit-in outcast type characters, and for good Canadian talent. Strube delivers both in spades. One and 3/4 pigtails UP!

Next in my queue is Benjamin Nugent’s American Nerd. As a matter of fact, I can hear it calling to me from my bedside table right now… so, I think it is about time for me to take my leave.

Also, my head is starting to spin a little bit.

Two more things to share before I pass out. This necklace:

And these tights (minus the cameltoe):

Would I actually rock either? WELL NOT AT THE SAME TIME! JEEZ!

<3 Chicken McNizzle