Posts tagged axegig
So, about that AXE gig…
May 8th
presentinnnng *dun dun dun* the failey con-cloo-jee-yon to my campaign for AXE Canada’s ridiculously, ridiculously good summer gig!
If you haven’t already figured I out, I did not win the AXE Gig.
I got the official call on Friday morning when I was at a Starbucks in Boston, but I had already sort of figured things out earlier in the week.
Receiving an email that said something along the lines of “Expect a call between 10 and 12 on Friday” was not a promising sign… especially after learning that all of the other contestants I’d spoken to were also expecting a call on Friday – except for the one who was expecting a call on Thursday…
After I was given the obligatory “You’re totally awesome! but…” spiel, I went and sat down at a corner table and cried for about 30 seconds (I’m kind of a cry-baby, if you haven’t noticed).
Fortunately, I was wearing big sunglasses to hide my face from the cute Barista boy who was probably like “wtf?” anyways.
I just kind of sat there for a few minutes feeling embarrassed and foolish, worrying about how I was going to tell all of the people who had blowing up my phone with “SO? DID YOU GET IT? HUH? DID YOU GET ITTTT???” all day.
And then I called my mom.
“Everything happens for a reason, hunny,” she said. “I truly think you’re meant for something even better than this.”
Her sentiment was echoed by several of my friends. And you know what? I’m kindasorta starting to believe them.
Maybe it won’t come with a free condo and 10 g’s – but I’m confident that something awesome will come my way this summer.
No, scratch that. Nothing is going to just “come my way” this summer. I’m going to make this the best damn summer I’ve ever had, free condo or no free condo! 10 thousand bones or no 10 thousand bones! Jay-Z or no Jay-Z!!! (though I really would like if it involve Jay-Z)
It took me about ten minutes to compose myself and mosey on back to ROFLcon after the little Starbucks sobfest.
It wasn’t long though before I was all “AXE who?”. Chilling with the best of teh interwebz distracted me nicely for the rest of the weekend. By the time I got back to Canada, I was pretty much over it. You win some, you lose some. C’est la vie, right?
Sure, I’m a bit disappointed… I mean, I did put a LOT of work into that competition – from the application process to the challenges to the press circuits and constant promoting. It was seriously like working another part-time job or taking an extra credit course or something. But I had a blast doing all of those things, so it’s not like it was all for nought.
Plus, I got the chance to meet a whole whack of great people (big shout-outs to the other 9 AXE kids!) and produce some fun things for my portfolio too (like my “day in the life”photos and one badass rap video).
Maddest of congrats to both Jamie and Al Hal – AXE Canada’s first ever consumer consultants!
I can say with 100% sincerity say that they’re both awesome people. Talented, fun and genuinely nice.
I know that they’re going to rock these jobs out hard and I can’t wait to read about the adventure. Hey – maybe we’ll even run into each other partying around the T-dot this summer!
Ain’t no shame in being being beaten by the best 
Jamie and Al are going to have one slammin’ summer in the city, but I’m sure the rest of the contestants will be doing cool things too.
As for me, the job hunt is ON.
Unless the producers of Fear Factor or the Amazing Race come a knockin’, there will be no more competitions for this kid (I just about puked when no less than 5 people sent me this link. As if!)
It’s time for your “consummate contest girl” to focus on her career. Her real career.
My official graduation is June the 12th, and if I don’t have a decent job by then I will be banished to les banlieues…
If I’m going to be a ghetto rat, damned if I’m not going to be a French one!
All of that being said, I’d like to give the biggest most heartfelt of THANKYOUs to each and every person who’s supported me in this AXE gig endeavor over the past four months. Thank you for your fan-signs, your votes, your comments and messages of encouragement. You + Me = friends forever. I’m serious.
I’m tempted to list the names of those who have gone above and beyond to help me, but there are just way too many of you to count and I’m worried that I’ll leave someone out. Instead, let me just say that I really, really, really love Sean Walsh, Nate Black, Chris Mitchell and, of course, Mommy and Daddy. Homies for life (and of THAT, I am actually serious.)
I think I should mosey on over to craigslist now… Mama needs to find herself a ridiculously, ridiculously, ridiculously good gig.
Please, play me off Keyboard Cat!
Lauren goes to ROFLcon -> The photoblog
May 7th
O hai.
I’m currently sitting at a most fabulous coffee shop in downtown Toronto next to a most fabulously moustachioed old woman who just so happens to be rocking salt & pepper pig tails with denim overalls and hot pink jelly sandals.
I think she may be a crack-head. I dig her all the same.
I’d take a Twitpic but I’m not THAT much of an asshole. Actually, I totally am – but my BB is dead 
So, I know it’s been about eight katrillion (er… four) days since I got back from ROFLCon and Boston, but I just finally got a chance to catch my breath.
Things have been hectic around these parts to say the least.
Between moving, writing, interviews, cover letter composing, job board creeping, unpacking my mountains of shite, driving back and forth between the 3 cities I’m living between for said interviews and ya know… social obligations… I’ve barely had time to watch my teevee programs, let along blog! (I have some serious Gossip Girl, Simpsons, ANTM and Big Bang Theory to catch up on. Thank Jeebus for ninjavideo!)
But now, NOW dear loyal readers, I am finally ready to share my ROFLcon experience with all 7 of you!
I would provide you with a long, colourful, comprehensive account of all the awesomeness that went down last weekend at M.I.T. right here on this very blog, but I spent many many hours over the past couple days attempting to compile such a post for the Toronto Star’s Intern blog.
“And Ceiling Cat said… Let there be Lolz” is now live – if you’re interested in reading all about the conference, go on over and check it ootskis – or better yet, Google “roflcon 2010” and read the scores of other articles that have been written this week.
Enough with my incessant rambling. Time for photos!!!
Let’s start from the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start.
After I finally got myself to the Teedot Thursday morning, we set out on our epic 8 hour car ride (which was actually more like an 11 hour car ride when you factor in all of the rest stops and an unfortunate jaunt through Utica, New York. Ew.).
Fortunately, we were well equipped with a laptop full of flicks and this sweet little car outlet device that @frikshun picked up for 15 bones on sale at The Source. SCORE!
When we got to Boston, we drove around downtown for a while and got just a little bit lost, so we didn’t hit the hotel until like, 2:00am or something. I was deliriously sleepy by this point, so I just turned on the TV (late night Huxtables! hellllz yeah), exploded my suitcase, and flopped into that dream of a king sized bed.
The next morning, we walked to M.I.T. bright and early to register and all of that noise. I blogged about that part already.
Some photos were taken on campus on the way to the building. It was the beginning of an adventure and I was photo happy. Don’t judge.
After registering, we had to go get coffee at Starbucks. What a coincidence – just as I was pouring some milk into my Americano, I received a call from AXE Canada! Oh joy and rapture, the moment I had been waiting for all month was finally here! Did I get the ridiculously sweet summer gig?!
No. No, I did not… but that’s another blogpost in and of itself (forthcoming – I swear).
Anyways, this may explain why I looked so very unhappy upon my return to campus – despite the coffee in my hand. Frikshun was all smiles though – an endless well of positivity, that one!
Of course, it wasn’t long before my frown was turned upside down. I mean, I was pretty much swimming in awesomesauce.
I met a freakin’ UNICORN and got a free sticker!
And then I cracked open a magical SPAM FORTUNE COOKIE!
I also talked to about a gazillion of the coolest people ever – including Mr. Aaron Peckham (creater of THE urban dictionary), Jamie and Kenyatta from knowyourmeme.com, Little David from David after Dentist (he was shy), and Taryn Southern from G4 who gave me the best career advice ever when I asked her how I could get her job (step number one = MOVE TO Los Angeles – stat.)
Oh and uh, guess who else I met?
He was disappointed about the AXE gig too… seeeee?
Okay, Okay!
And here are a bunch of awesome photos that I ripped from the ROFLcon Flickr Photo pool that I would totally credit individually if I wasn’t a lazy jerkhole.
Enjeezy!
In conclusion…
Goodnight.
My Celebrity Doppleganger…
Apr 2nd
You know how when you’ve got a huge pile of work to do that you don’t really want to do because it’s basically SUMMERTIME in April and it’s also Good Friday and your friends are headed to the beach but you’ve got to go to school because you’re a journalism student at Western and that’s just how the program rolls so you go onto the internet and procrastinate by writing ridiculously long run-on sentences – sans commas – in a blog post that would totally drive your copyediting prof. mad with grammatically induced rage?
Yeah. That’s what I’m doing right meow.
I’ll make this snappy so that I can get back to transcribing / woefully staring out the window and wishing I were frolicking accross our beautiful campus.
*le sigh*
Somewhere, in the midst of 18 open Firefox windows on my laptop (yes, each with it’s own myriad of tabs. Thank goodness for that RAM upgrade at Christmastime), I found this little gem hiding between “jobs at college humor” and an article about robot journalists last night.
I had stumbled upon the doppleganger meme a few weeks ago (months after it was actually popular, I know) and didn’t get around to playing with it until well, just now.
I wasn’t overly impressed with the accuracy at first. I uploaded a whole whack of random photos and was getting the usual suspects – Kirsten Dunst, Cameron Diaz, Reese Witherspoon, Paris Hilton – blah. But THEN, something happened that blew my mind.
I uploaded a straight-on face shot from last year – a UWindsor grad photo from the cutting room floor that is my “scrap’d” folder.
And I found my doppleganger:
Bwahahahaha – Mad lulz! This seriously made my day.
Kthxbye.
Love Always,
Lauris Roberts.
OH WAIT! A PEE ESS!
P.S. – For everyone who’s been AXEing about the AXE gig – Did I win? Did I lose? Will I be having the greatest summer of my life?
I don’t know, I don’t know, and Yes – win or lose, this is going to be a summer to remember.
The winner of AXE Canada’s Ridiculously, Ridiculously good summer gig will be announced at the end of April.
Until that time, you can find me going about my bizznass singing “doo DOO doo doo, doo DOO doooo… doo DOO doo DOO DOOOO, doo doo doo doo doo…”
Singing, of course, because I can’t whistle and it’s not like I’m going to bring a piano around with me everywhere I go.
Come on now, let’s be realistic here!
<3
Last Day to Vote: Why Lauren O’Neil should be AXE Canada’s next consumer consultant
Mar 31st
Gooooood Hump day morning dames and gents!
Today is March the 31st.
This is significant for two reasons.
1. It’s the day before April Fool’s Day. Consider yourself forewarned.
2. It’s the last day of public voting for AXE Canada’s Ridiculously, Ridiculously good summer gig.
This means that I will no longer be spamming your tweetfeed with “LAUREN FOR AXE” propaganda. (promise!)
It’s been a blast and a half so far – seriously. I’m so glad I decided to apply for this competition. I’ve had a crazy fun three months AXEing it up with challenges, promoting the gig when I’m out on the town, and getting to know some of the other competitors.
They’re all bomb as Hiroshima, fyi.
You should really follow them all on Twitter right meow -> @bigalhal @Tatomme @axegirljaime @vaughnturnbull @max_marcus @bryankellyaxe @jamesclift @mkrundle @xbrandimacx
Something else that you mayyyy want to do? Vote me up in the ibeatyou.com “best pick up face challenge“. I’ve dropped to number 5 (Damn you Von Star!) – but if I can rise back up through the ranks to beat out all of the other AXE competitors, I could win me an XBOX and play video games all night long forever and ever…
HELP ME REALIZE THIS DREAM.
The final thing that I’m going to ask you for, dear reader, is a fan sign (if you haven’t already hooked me up with one). You have until midnight tonight to get one in – if I get two more, the bikini run is a go. No snow left, but I’ll make it hilarious somehow. Trust.
Full fansign making instructions can be found here, and if you need some inspiration, check out my good looking friends below:
And if you want a little bit more inspiration (or you’re just a perv like me who enjoys looking at hot, near-naked dudes), check out this fansign that Tatomme got…
No idea who this guy is, but that’s freaking mad support right there. Hey Frikshun -I know you’re packing better than this under those snazzy duds. Let’s shown ‘em up!
Finally, I would like to share with you some reference letters.
As part of the application for this gig, we were required to submit two letters of reference. I could sit here and tell you all about how I’d rock this gig out so hard your mind will legitimately EXPLODE – but imma hand the mic over to my boys Chris and Nate to do it for me.
They’re both kind of a big deal, if you didn’t already know:
I hope whoever’s job it is to read these letter has found this one near the top of the pile, because now you don’t need to read the rest. Hopefully you’re also being paid for the task and not by the hour.
There is no one more suited to be the Axe Spokesgirl than the girl I’m endorsing: Lauren O’NizzleWe met this summer when I was TA-ing her journalism class. She quickly proved herself to be the most talented writer, an enthusiastic learner and a hard worker.
For the first radio story she covered, she drove alone to Motown Records in Detroit the day Michael Jackson died.
She was the one little blond girl in a crowd of thousands of MJ-celebraters, pointing a microphone at anyone who had something to say.
Just one of many examples of the drive and fierce independence Lauren showed when I worked with her.The girl is:
-up for any adventure, and gutsy enough to lead them.
-funny enough to make you laugh when she’s making fun of herself.
-always immaculately dressed, looking sharp, smart and sexy without being slutty.
-every kind of smart: street-wise, book-smart, media-literate and tech-savvy.
-all over social media; one of the few people I know who blogs, tweets and Facebooks things worth reading.All this and she’s modest too.
Forget Paris, forget Britney, forget Angelina. There is only O’Nizzle.
This might all sound like hyperbole, but rest assured, I’m understating Lauren’s talents.
She’s like a shotgun shooting fireworks to the moon.
This is the girl you’re looking for.Sincerely,
Chris Mitchell
*tear*
I love you Chris Mitchell.
To The Axe Summer Gig Selection Team:
I would like to recommend Lauren O’Neil as a candidate for the upcoming Axe Summer Gig Campaign. Why? Because she is awesome. And not just your run-of-the-mill awesome either. She emanates an aura of awesome that is conducive to proliferating further awesomeness in those around her. I have worked with this young lady on a few ventures into pseudo-journalism and while she is more than capable of conducting herself in a professional manner, she is even more effective when she lets loose her unbridled wit and seeks to entertain.
In the last few months Lauren has wowed us with her brand of wit and sheer tom-foolery. She’s quick on her feet, and an expert at taking others off their guard and induce hilarity… and she’s kind of hot. Did I mention that? I’m not sure if it’s the blonde hair or the winning smile, but the woman’s got charisma for days.
In our ever changing world it has become apparent that there will be leaders and there will be followers. Lauren is a leader. When she speaks people listen. When she Tweets people follow. Lauren is a whiz with video editing, adept at graphic design, and a master of the written art… and she makes a mean omelet… that’s one of the requirements right?
In short Lauren is hilarious, outspoken, aesthetically appealing, and has established herself on the forefront of social media. She was born for great things. Give her a summer the world will remember.
Yours truly,
Nate H
Editor- The Lion’s Den University
Nate, you are the wind beneath my wings. #kitteh
PS. I love you.
Welp, that is all for now friends. I’ve REALLY got to get to school and transcribe me a long, long interview and get cracking on a prezi for tomorrals.
Thank you all so very, very much for your support. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I won’t find out if I’ve landed the gig or not until the END OF APRIL (The suspense will surely kill me!) – but you know I’ll be posting all about it, win or lose, when the time comes.
In the meantime, you can find me all up over teh internetz doing what I do.
Now, and forevermore…
Love,
Lauren.
AXE Challenge # 3 – The pick up face.
Mar 6th
People often ask me how I manage to pull in so many boys when I’m out at the club / bar / grocery store / funeral parlour.
Not to brag or anything, but I’m sort of an expert when it comes to picking up – and I think this confuses a lot of the girls I come across.
I mean, it’s not like I’m especially good looking or perfectly styled or or anything. I don’t have crazyhuge boobies, I can’t apply foundation for the life of me, I suck at accessorizing and I’m not Ms. Janie Pop-Bottles.
I’m definitely more of an Amanda Bynes than a Megan Fox; know what I’m sayin’?
Yet, despite my inherent goofiness and my lack of hair-poofing prowess, I always seem to get mad attention from the opposite sex. Admittedly, almost every girl with two legs and a relatively hairless upper lip gets hit on like crazy when she steps into a nightclub – that’s just the way it is. But I get hit on a LOT… even when I’m rolling with chicks who are undeniably way hotter than I am.
So, what is it that makes guys walk past those busty, lipstick wearing beauties and roll up to my klutzy blonde ass instead? Are they attracted to my confident swagger? The mustard stain on my shirt? Can they tell that within my head I hold a wealth of random useless trivia knowledge and have the entirety of “Songs in the Key of Springfield” memorized? Do they figure that maybe they have a better chance of scoring with the girl who’s rocking chipped nail polish, as opposed to the goddess beside her with the flawless French mani?
It’s probably the latter, but I like to think that it’s because I’ve enticed them with my tried and true PICK UP FACE :
K, so usually I’ve got a straw, not a finger, in my mouth, but you get the idea.
The point of this little blabbity bloo is that The latest AXE gig challenge has been posted! Yes, it’s true!Check it ooot, pee-poles!
Have YOU got a good pick up face? If so, it could win you a year’s supply of AXE Products. Go enter the AXE SUMMER GIG Best Pick up face photo competition at ibeatyou.com and play with us!
Come on – I’ve showed you mine, now you show me yours Or at the very least, head on over to vote for your girl. I promise to share the wealth if I do, in fact, win the challenge.
Now, I must go finish my readings about the hegemony of instrumental rationality in the news for “Media Theory & Criticism” class before I go out and kill some brain cells with a few bevvys and a whole lot of loud, loud music.
Work before play and all that jazz… you know how it is
<3 L
P.S. -> You’ve got 2 days left to tag yourself in an “I vote for Lauren fansign” on Facebook before that challenge is over and I FAIL EPICALLY. Unless I get like, 14 more signs by Monday, it looks like the bikini run is a no-go. BLARGHHGHGHGG!!! >:(
Look Mom! I’m a SAH-LEB-RAH-TEE! (x4)
Feb 22nd
Oh me, oh my! I’m feeling positively famous these days… No big deal.
Okay, so “famous” might be a bit of a stretch – but can you blame a girl for getting excited? I mean, who doesn’t like to see their own mug splayed across the pages of a local newspaper? It’s freaking cool!
Ch-ch-check it, folks:
London Free Press : UWO student in line for $10K summer job
Chatham-Daily News : A summer gig to die for
Chatham This Week : Local woman in the running for national AXE gig
University of Windsor Daily News : UWindsor grad in running for sweet summer gig
¡Muy excitemento!
This AXE gig competition is really ramping up, boys and girls. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been interviewed no less than five times. And no more than 5 times. I’ve been interviewed 5 times, I should say… whatever. Sorry. Anyways, I’ve got another interview on Friday – this one, live on that there Teevee box *gulp*.
Please welcome fellow contestant Maddie and I into your living rooms this Friday, Feb. 26th at 11:00am and 3:00pm – we’ll be on Rogers’ Daytime.
By the way – have you seen Challenge # 1 yet? A day in the life of yours truly – photoblog style…
C’est Tout for today.
Oh wait – one more thing :
Oh yeah –
VOTE
.
