life
Drum solo!
Sep 8th
We’d like to interrupt the cacophonous symphony of your busy day with a few iPhone photos of the blondebot enjoying Frikshun’s new toy:
Banging on an electronic drum-kit is a fabulous midnight activity. It sure does beat unpacking and syllabus writing and programming and grocery shopping and all of the things I should be doing.
But who’s to say what I should be doing anyways?
I’m bringing up my keyboard in a few weeks and we’re going to start a band called “Ikea CrimeSpree”.
Our first single will be “Reggae Man” and our singer is an orange cat.
Sweet.
Vuggin’ hipster drums, ehhh?
I start teaching an introductory online journalism course at a local college tomorrow after work. Isn’t that crazy?
If you said yes, we’re not friends anymore. It’s not crazy at all, jerk, because I’m an awesome teacher according to the freshmen I taught as a TA.
I like to think those Intro. to communication studies students appreciated the way I broke down complex cultural theories in an entertaining yet informative way… but according to evaluation comments, it was actually the Hannah Montana candy canes I brought to class that won them over.
Whatever.
This new class will have to settle for links to hilarious web videos because I can’t afford Miley Cyrus pops anymore (that branded Disney candy doesn’t come cheap, you know what I’m sayin’?)
It’s going to be another late night tonight… so much to do.
I have to go back to work right now, but I’d kind of like to bang on the drum all day…
<3 L
In with the new, out with the… NO WAIT! I LOVE that shirt!
Sep 6th
Moving is hard.
Not physically hard (at least, not when you’ve got a lot of strong men in your life), but mentally hard. It can be frustrating, exhausting and emotionally taxing, too.
Last week, we emptied out the storage locker I was renting in London and got most of my furniture up to ze new pad safely. That went swimmingly – no beefs there. Still working on getting the bedroom organized, but it’s coming along. As you can see from this little viddy I took before I moved out of the best bedroom ever in London, I have a lot of bedroom stuff:
This weekend, I came home to collect the rest of my stuff (yes, there’s more!) and… it wasn’t nearly as easy as I thought it would be.
I had planned on just grabbing the rest of my wardrobe, some office supplies, art, snowboarding gear (just in case?) and coats.
I figured I could leave the boxes upon boxes of old clothes and toys I wasn’t using in the corner of my parents’ basement like I’ve been doing for years, but my mom had other plans.
To be fair, the stuff in my “corner” of the basement was more like a growing rainbow-coloured blob that was now monopolizing at least a quarter of the room it was in.
It began in 2007 when I went on exchange and left everything that couldn’t come to Sweden in what used to be mine and Brodie’s play room.
It had been a sewing room at one point and then a “home gym”/bowflex storage room, but post-Euro trip it was simply the “Lauren’s junk room” – and my mom was ready to reclaim the space.
“Ready to get to work?” she asked me excitedly, latte in hand after teaching me how to use the new espresso machine (that I will inevitably break anyway).
“Yeah, yeah… let’s do it” I replied, assuming that we’d be down there for about about an hour tossing some junk into boxes while the kitties supervised.
Four hours later, I emerged exhausted and nostalgic with an empty mug and half a truckload worth of clothes designated for the local Goodwill.
My mom was happy as a clam, but I was already grieving my California Raisins All-Star tee and Southpark pajama pants.
The only way I could bring myself to part with a lot of my old things was to take pictures of them for memory’s sake.
Most of these photos, I won’t bore you with by posting on the blog (the stuffed animal collection alone could fill a book… A really weird book.) but a few select outfits were kind of LOLworthy so I set my video camera to photo-mode and posed it out:
I worked at Sport Check for two weeks when I was 16. This was one of so many part-time jobs I held down for about a minute until I found something I liked more. I think I left this job to work at a Fish&Chips restaurant for two shifts before I got hired at another mall store.)
The CKSS gym outfit, I’m not giving away. I’m going to rock that at the yuppie gym I go to in Liberty Village just to be conspicuosly less cool than the Lulu clad, cake faced, fake-boobied girls who walk on the treadmill next to me.
If you think that getup looks big on me now, you should have seen it in Grade 9 when I was only 5′3. Shrimpies unite!
I bought these cool Hawaiian shorts when I was 14 because I was cool like that. My mom was like “Hey, those still fit! Why don’t you keep them?” and I was like “They fit, but they’re totally ghey.” My mom agreed “Yeah, they are pretty ghey.” She never uses words like that, so it was hilarious.
The GAP sweater was my pride and joy in Grade 8. I bought it at Devonshire mall and wore the hell out of it until pretty much the end of highschool (as can be seen by the completely busted sleeve that I refused to let anyone fix because it gave the garment “character”). Time to part ways, old friend.
I fancied myself quite the seamstress back in the day. A stylist and coiffure too. Doesn’t she look lovely?
The miracle McWatch. Purchased at a German McDonald’s in 2001 – lasted (without a battery replacement) until 2004, if I’m not mistaken. Best Deutsche Marks I ever did spend.
My parents just left to go to a wedding. Who gets married on a Sunday night? Doctors or something. Weird, I know. I took some candids of them getting ready.
Then I took a non-creeper style photo in low-res. Next time I come home, I’m bringing one of my real still cameras ’cause this looks like it was taken with a fookin’ logitech webcam in 1997.
Alright, it’s time for me to stop blogcrastinating and get back to this crash course in After Effects.
I’m not going to have time to figure it out on the fly next week when TIFF starts and I’m producing erreday.
Ooooh and speeeeaking of the festival (and related events), I may or may not have some VIP party tickets to give away this week. Okay, I DO.
Get @ me if you’re a good Tweeter and you want to hit a special event at one of the most buzzed about celebrity stomping grounds in Yorkville on Friday. I’ll Tweet about it later, maybe. For now, this is a blogsclusive. You know where to find me 
<3 L
PS – I kept the California Raisins shirt. It’s going back into the basement for future “goodbye” photos.
home.
Sep 4th
cruising the internet at the breakfast bar while mommy cooks dinner in front of me. eating salad. so hungry.
we just organized stuff in the basement for THREE hours. The Salvation Army is going to love us.
STIR FRY IS READY and this just rocked my LIFE:
kthxbye!
<3L
The lunchtime blog: Catfish, Nerdspecs and 90210 day
Sep 2nd
Oh my Facebook, the website for Catfish (uber-buzzed about controversial about upcoming film du jour) has got to be one of the most clever film sites I’ve ever seen.
Go Enter Nev’s World. You’ll be happy you did.
For a minute there, I felt like I was working actually in the Mac OS. Ah, nostalgia. I miss that ol’ Blueberry iMac.
Watch!:
A co-worker just showed me the trailer for that film and I was about thisclose to running over to Chinatown in search of a bootlegged copy from Monday night’s Toronto screening (Apparently I momentarily forgot that I don’t like in 1995 New York city circa 1995) , but I went to the bathroom and took pictures of my new specs and orthopedic shoes instead because that’s what I do on my coffee breaks.
Some people indulge in cigarettes or banal small talk by the water cooler (assuming that your office has one). I indulge in shameless acts of self-obsession.
I’m not actually self-obsessed, but I can certainly see how it might appear that way.
Hey, give me a break – I grew up in the 80’s!
And speaking of times gone by, HAPPY 90210 DAY!!! 9.02.10 – get it? Please enjoy this awesome clip of the gang getting ready for the spring dance. Dress drama and Dylan McKay in a tux? You spoil me, interwebs…
One last point of interest:
I found out today that Mark Zuckerburg is worth $ 4 Billion.
Coincidentally, Burger King was slated to be sold today for close to that very amount.
Theoretically, this means that Zucks could enter the Whopper world if he really wanted to. So could Canada’s five biggest banks, but I don’t think they’re going to… (can you tell I was just working with Financial news?)
I wonder if he’d try for the King Pin spot in Fast Food land. Steal Wendy away from Ronald and RUN THIS COUNTRY (as if he already doesn’t).
I just blew my own mind.
Time to go grab a pop and get back to work.
JUST a pop. Yesterday, I went down to grab a pop and came back upstairs with a new friend for my desk.
The toy store at the base of this building is deadly huge. I’ll probably rack up quite a few creatures during my time here…
<3L
BB Blogging – MOVING DAY!
Aug 28th
Hi precious flowers,
Blackberry Blogging. Moving day. Internet comes to the new digs tomorrow.
If you see a blonde girl walking down the street with her blog face on, two hands to the BB, stunna specs in full effect, that’s totally me. Hi.
Oh Rogers man, how eagerly I await your visit. My peripheral metacarpals quiver in anticipation.
Last night’s parties were so good.
Got to play with a whole bunch of new friends and old friends and random coolbies. Just how I like it.
Nate and Corey and Andrew and Casie and Liz and other Corey and Sean and a whole bunch of Toronto Twitteraties and other media kids were at Zacky’s party. I would link them if I was on a COMPUTER. RAH.
Met up for a minute with Brodie & co. after that (HI!) and was going to swing by Fierce Fab’s soiree in the North but it was getting late so I cuddled with Groundskeeper Willy and crashed around 4 a.m. instead because I knew I had to be up early.
You see, today was MOVING DAY!
We got everything into my new room a few hours ago and then I treated my crew to sushi ’cause they deserved it for hauling my stuff up and down the stairs.
I love you all so much – Thankyou from the bottom of my weakling heart.
I’m on the subway right now, almost at St. George station. Going down to Yonge-Dundas square for the Livegreen Festival VIP meet and greet (Thanks @NotableTV!)
I’d skip it to unpack some more, but I really want to say what’s up to Divine Brown ’cause I’m a hyooooge fan.
All of the interview videos from last night will be posted this week. I talked to a bunch of cool peeps…
I can’t pick a favourite because they’re all sweet. Aleesia, Spenny, and Bachelorette boy top the list. That’s as far as I’ll go. Oh! And Lizzie and Casie, obvs, ’cause nothing is more fun than shoving a mic in your homegirl’s face for a recorded gab!
G2G now – at Yonge-Dundas square. Fourth time this week… Something keeps drawing me back
Love you – and mother earth too.
-Reduce, Reuse, Recycle O’Nizzle
Tonight: Zack Taylor’s Big Celebrity Bash
Aug 27th
Hey there, hip friends.
What are you up to this evening, hmmm?
If you aren’t too repairing a bicycle or combing your righteous beardstache, I’d like to invite you to my buddy Zack Taylor’s birthday party/ webbiversary at the Roosevelt Room.
We’ll have punch, and pie, and a Spencer Pratt Pinata…
Maybe we’ll even have a Spencer Pratt.
Unfortunately, I can’t reveal exactly which celebrities will be at this event, but I will say that it’s going to be one star-studded clusterfrick of an awesome night.
They don’t call Zacky the Perez Hilton of Canada for no reason. Homeboy’s connected – and not like, Canada connected, but really connected, in an L.A. type of way.
I can safely reveal (without getting my skull chewed off by publicists and the like) that some Playboy cover models, Toronto Argonaut Cheerleaders, local entertainment reporters/ music hosts, recording artists and BLONDE BLOGGERS will be there.
Apparently, a bunch of coolbies are flying in from New York and Los Angeles too, but that’s all on the hush hush. You’ll find out who popped by the soiree tomorrow morning in newsland (or tonight, if you’re there.)
Also cool: Guest performances by Aleesia and French DJ (*swoon*) Monsieur Cedric.
Yours truly will be doing some red carpet interviews for ZackTaylor.ca and a bunch of other sponsors, so wave or punch me in the head or something if you see me. Maybe it’ll be caught on tape and go viral… We’ll both be FAMOUS!
Gratuitous promo spot:
This all pops off at 10:00 p.m. ish tonight, so get to the Roosevelt Room fashionably whenever-the-heck-you-feel-like it.
Telling people to “be there early!” is lame. I never arrive early because I’ve got better things to do than bop around an empty club.
The truly cool never wait in line anyways. I often do wait in line, but that’s only because I’m a nerd. A late-rolling, too-cool-for-school noiiiid.
And on that note, I still have nothing to wear tonight.
If I don’t find something after work today, I’ll probably just go in last year’s Halloween costume. What do you think? Too cool?
[Note: The "punch, pie and Pratt pinata" was a literary device used for comedic effect. Unless somebody is inspired by this post to bake pies and paste a flesh toned beard and crazy eyes onto a Bob the Builder pinata from the Bulk Barn, you'll be more likely to see young William Shatner in outer space than the above mentioned things.]
(sorry John)
Love,
Lauren
LOL Digest: Patti Mayonaise, Kanye West and the Noche de Rábanos
Aug 25th
Hi friends.
This is what’s up in the mind of one female earthling sitting in Toronto on a rainy hump day night…
Some Angels were in town today because we’re (finally) getting Victoria’s Secret stores in Canada (a whole two of them! woohoo!). Can you believe this is Adriana Lima’s first visit to Canada – ever?! I heard she requested Polar Bear in her stirfry. And they gave it to her. Whatever. She’s Adriana frahking Lima. She can eat the shoes off of my feet if she wants to… think she’d want to?
I was going to try to ninja snipe an interview with Chanel Iman or something but I was worried that big huge bodyguards might pounce and I’d get punched out by a Green Mile look-a-like.
Totally kidding – I’m not afraid of Green Mile. I could take him out if I wanted to.
The reason I couldn’t go down to witness human perfection with mine own eyes is because I had to work today. WOMP WOMP.
Speaking of dope chicks who kick ass, I finally watched Kick Ass the other night and fell head over borderline homo pedophilic heels for Hit Girl just like everybody else.
Was a finer character this year portrayed in film? I think not.
When I grow up, I want to be a purple haired potty mouthed prepubescent killing MACHINE. Badass meets cute meets all of the awesome epic cool words combined right here.
McLovin’ was alright in this too (even though he’s a total douche IRL) and I was crushing hard on Kick Ass when he wasn’t being a mayjah lovey-dovey poes. I do love me a cute little anglofro.
I was validated in the best way Monday when I stumbled upon this video of Kesha’s Tik Tok and Katy Perry’s California Gurls (with some Miley Cyrus clone joint I’d never heard) mashed up and sounding like… pretty much the exact same song.
I’ve been ranting internally about these two songs and their striking similarity all summer – singing along with one when the other would be playing, just to prove my point.
I only wish now that I had voiced this groundbreaking discovery earlier so that I could have 64,000 hits on Youtube. Surely, we were the only ones who knew about this.
Pop music – FORMULAIC? As if.
I am so disillusioned.
Also cool this week: discovering that there is a festival JUST FOR RADISHES in Mexico – a weird one, too – on December 23rd (The night of the radishes). A tuna tossing festival, a baby-jumping festival and a monkey buffet festival – these things also exist. Thanks Buzzfeed!
Radishes remind me of beets and beets remind me of Doug, so I did some Googling and found a few episodes of my old favourite show to watch when I get a chance. Can’t wait for that. Doug’s right up there with Pokemon, Sailor Moon, Rugrats and Recess for the top viewed “rush home after school to watch” cartoons of Lauren time.
*Doo doo doo doo doo doooo dooo…* I’d whistle that if I could (I can’t) but you wouldn’t be able to hear me anyways.
PS – searching for Doug images showed me a side of Patti Mayonnaise I really never cared to see. Rule 34 on that one, big time. I was, however, lead to this hallucinatory revelation on Vice.com and love it very much:
I see Patti as more of a Carey Mulligan than an Agyness Deyn, personally.
Lest I be mistaken for a nostalgia blogger, I shall turn now to Kanye West.
Have you heard this remix of Power yet? Yeez is getting a lot of leverage off of the original, but it’s well deserved.
Jay-Z and Swizz Beatz feature on this remix, so it’s obviously amazing. Could you just picture the three of them in a room together?
Jay: Yo, I gotta get home to B…
Swizz: Yeah, Alicia be waitin’ up for me too…
Kanye: I’M KANYE WEST. KANYE. LOOK AT MY SHOES. I’M KANYE. KANYE WEST. LOOK AT ME.
jokes, jokes… you know I love me some Mr. West
Kanye West Ft. Jay Z – Power (Remix) by moneykillslove.blogspot
Um… outside of the internet I’ve been busy as heck. That’s why I’ve been blogging late nights at 1:00 a.m. Wonder how long before I finally crack from the sleep deprivation?
To give you the short and sweet of it…
- Sunday I went out for a nice charity Brunch with some lovely ladies:
- Then I went to Ikea and out for dinner with Frikshun and bought way, way, way too much Swedish goodness. Fell in love with this vanity station… will probably go back to buy it next week.
- Sean bought the hipstamatik filter for his iPhone. Loves it.
- I started a new gig on Monday. Top floor in an office building downtown with a gorgeous view of the water. Free coffee, ice-cream on Fridays and an arcade machine in the “games room”. The work is cool too… real cool Toronto’s been good to this kid.
- Monday night I hit up a gasmy Twitterific event at The Gladstone Hotel and that was fun. Met some more cool TO Tweeps and caught up with some I hadn’t seen in a minute. Paul McCartney made a video of me driving home and attempting to beat box after the event:
- Tuesday, I worked and then had some appointments – eyeball and hair. The latter of which was so, so awesome as always. Marisa is the queen of head massages and hand massages and listening to me bitch about life and, most importantly, DOING THE BLONDE. Fabulous colourist. So glad I found her
- Also Tuesday = a little bit of shopping, a solid run and some serious kitten cuddles. And I caught the pink cement truck with my Blackberry. FINALLY!
- Today was 9-fiver – with many an adventure up in that time – and then straight to the gym afterwards for some yoooogah and eliptical goodness. Read the H&M magazine on the machine and was filled with fashionable ideas, a list of things to buy. I guess that’s the point…
- Got caught in the rain afterwards when I walked to get groceries. Laaaame but sort of cool. Rain in general is sort of cool, don’t you think?
I’m rambling.
Tomorrow is another huge day and Friday is even huger… Saturday, also Huuuuge.
I’ll blog. You know I will
Love,
Leelee
PS – this is how you draw an owl.
The Mohawk Shoe: Would you rock it?
Aug 24th
Fancy a row of pony hair on your pumps, m’ladies?
Apparently, Stefano Pilati thought someone might when he was designing YSL’s FW2010 collection.
Upon first glance, I wasn’t even tempted to shell out more than a month’s rent for these puppies (they retail for $1,070 USD), but after seeing them in the wild…
… I’d still rather blow my money on new toys and parking tickets.
That being said, if a magical shoe fairy brought them to me for free (or at a 96% discount) I’d be stomping all over the city in those puppies like
It would be a bold move, but that’s sort of what I’d like to move toward with my personal style (I’ve still got a long way to go, obvs).
Bold, but not ridiculous. Pony shoe? Maybe. Rooster shoe? Nej. (sorry Prada).
But oh, oh, OH what is this? Some blue suede shoes – bald ones – at only a fraction of the price by Steve Madden!
I don’t necessarily need blue pumps but… well, I kind of do.
The new season of Gossip Girl premiers Sept. 13th (eee!) and once everybody sees Blair and Serena rocking the trend I won’t be able to find a size 8 in store for the life of me.
If those pictures weren’t from last season, this would totally make sense.
Whatever. Elvis died like, 60 seasons ago and he’s still cool so imma get me some blue suede shoes. Pyaw!
One more shoe – last one, I promise. Once I get to clickin’… you know how it is.
Behold: Alexander McQueen’s gold snakeskin peeptoes with SKULL embelleshments:
Be still my whimsical, charnel heart.
Are these not to freakin’ kill for? Maybe I will kill for them.
Kill two little two goblins and put their little goblin skulls on a pair of faux-snakeskin payless pumps that I’ve coated with metallic spray paint…
Yeah. That’s what I’ll do.
Shot down by a peacock + the social media blues…
Aug 21st
Hi hi.
Yesterday, I went to the High Park zoo (or “animal paddocks“, as they’re officially called) with my buddy Sean Ward to help him make a big announcement for the interwebz.
They don’t have elephants or giraffes in High Park, but it’s a 10 minute walk from my house and last summer a bunch of animals ESCAPED there. That makes this my favourite zoo in Canada.
Those yaks are straight badass.
Oh, Google Images…
So, you may be wondering – “wwwwhat is this big announcement you speak of, L-bot?“ Well perhaps you should watch Sean’s vlog from yesterday and find out for yourself!
A very exciting project will be revealed – and you will also see an emu, some goats, a baby buffalo, a pack of joggers, three yellow balls, sweet red pants, a spooky picnic table etching, a wallaby or two and yours truly trying to seduce a large, pretty bird (to no avail)
Annnnd speaking of things you should watch by Sean Ward, if you haven’t checked out Talkin’ Social Media Blues yet – DO IT NOW. You’ll get a kick out of this, especially if you’re a bloggity tweet-head like so many of us are these days.
Teehee
One last thing – Big ups to Bryan for sending me this screenshot yesterday:
Seeing my name on the front page of Google News was a nice way to start the morning. And hey – Tiffany the Macaw was returned safe and sound!
Awwww.
<3 L
Late night in the newsroom with the Lollipop Kid
Aug 19th
Hi friends.
It’s 4:18 a.m. and I’m at work. For a city with 2.5 million people living in it, Toronto sure is quiet right now.
I could sit here with my hands patiently folded on my lap and wait for some news to happen, but I’m too fidgety for that after 4 caffeinated bevvies so I compulsively indulge my cyberchondriacic tendencies and Google things like “blocked Eustachian tubes” and “swollen parotid glands” to find out what the heck is up with my sore throat and swollen head.
I’m not going to annoy you with my detailed medical history, but I will reveal that I’m a freakin’ nerdlinger extreme when it comes to this respiratory stuff, GLAVIN!
Sinus infections are the norm up in my head, so throbbing face-pain is nothing new – but when I went to fill up my water bottle a few hours ago I noticed that I was looking particularly Lollyriffic. I feel like I’m smuggling olives under my jaw.
Ew.
I’m going to go bug the cops now I think, because I’m supposed to be writing NEWS and “WAH POOR ME, MY THROAT HURTS” isn’t really news, unless you’re the king of healthy throats or something.
Is there such a thing as the “king of healthy throats”? I’m losing it.
I considered cleaning up around my desk a bit, but the janitor lady is the only other person in the newsroom right now and I don’t want her to feel like I’m sippin’ on her kool-aid…
OH SNAP! FIRE! YES! g2g.
- NizzlePop
